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Original poster

I have been filmed having sex without my consent!!

36 replies

jimbojool · 01/09/2023 19:51

I came across videos on my ex-boyfriend's laptop where I discovered that I was being filmed without my consent. This happened a while ago, but it has been weighing heavily on my mind and I feel scared and unsure about what to do next.

What's even more distressing is that I found videos of other girls who also seemed unaware of being filmed. This revelation has deeply shaken me, especially because I had been in love with him for years and considered him my best friend. Despite feeling confused, shocked, and violated, I still find myself caring for him despite his betrayal.

I am struggling to figure out the next steps to take and how to process my emotions. While I don't wish any harm upon him, it's clear that he doesn't care about me. Additionally, he is currently involved with someone else, which adds to my confusion and uncertainty about what to think or do.

I would appreciate any information or support anyone can provide. Are there any charities I can reach out to for help or any legal advice that I should consider seeking?

OP posts:
gradistar · 01/09/2023 19:53

You can report it to the police, that's your best bet. Have you discussed this with him?

Tygertiger · 01/09/2023 19:53

You need to contact the police. He’s committed a criminal offence.

LovingMyLiver · 01/09/2023 19:54

Contact the police OP this is truly terrible x

HundredMilesAnHour · 01/09/2023 19:55

Straight to the Police and report him. He is most definitely not your 'best friend'.

He may have shared these videos on websites and/or with friends so try to prepare yourself (sorry!!)

Cowlover89 · 01/09/2023 19:56

Contact the police

Babadook76 · 01/09/2023 19:57

He’s a sexual predator op. This 100% needs reporting. I wonder if any of these videos have made their way to the internet? There’s websites for this sort of stuff. It sounds like he’s moved on to his latest victim. While it’s not your responsibility, I couldn’t live with allowing him to abuse god knows how many other unsuspecting women

Mandyintheskywithdiamonds · 01/09/2023 20:01

Please see the police OP and do it now.

RuPaulsLastPlace · 01/09/2023 20:04

Really sorry to hear this. Go ro the police as others have said.
rather than trawling through the horrid user generated content websites - legal sadly, but morally reprehensible, I’d recommend googling the NotYourPorn campaign - their website has lots of good advice if you have/think you have been a victim of this kind of thing.
💐

Valhalla17 · 01/09/2023 20:21

You posted this previously. The advice hasn't changed.

Speak to the police.

Original poster
jimbojool · 01/09/2023 20:23

No never discussed it with him. I was genuinely to scared to bring it up

OP posts:
Septemberdaysarehere · 01/09/2023 20:24

Take the laptop and go to the police station

Fruitynutcase · 01/09/2023 20:25

Contact the police . You owe it to those others girls and god knows where those films will end up . Imagine if this was your daughter in this situation in the future ? You would be outraged. You owe him nothing. He doesn't give a shit about you .

Fruitynutcase · 01/09/2023 20:27

Why are so so afraid of going to the police ? Even if if it was consensual filming he has no right to pass it on . He disrespected you and doesn't care so why are you protecting him ?

Original poster
jimbojool · 01/09/2023 20:27

I obviously don’t know for sure but I’m assuming he would never post these videos. You can clearly see him and myself in the video so why would he risk posting it online, knowing that it’s a criminal offence.

I don’t know why he’s doing it maybe for some sick fetish he has. This obviously does not make it right at all.

I honestly don’t know what to think. I guess the thought of him getting arrested literally gives me anxiety and I feel vulnerable as it is right now.

OP posts:
Original poster
jimbojool · 01/09/2023 20:30

Just to clarify the filming was not consensual. The sex was. I also am assuming these videos are not online. His face is in the video so why would he risk this by posting online?

OP posts:
LookingForPurpose · 01/09/2023 20:30

jimbojool · 01/09/2023 20:27

I obviously don’t know for sure but I’m assuming he would never post these videos. You can clearly see him and myself in the video so why would he risk posting it online, knowing that it’s a criminal offence.

I don’t know why he’s doing it maybe for some sick fetish he has. This obviously does not make it right at all.

I honestly don’t know what to think. I guess the thought of him getting arrested literally gives me anxiety and I feel vulnerable as it is right now.

There is a HUGE group of sick perverted men online that share these videos with other perverts. Amateur/covert /hidden cages videos are ten a penny online and are free. They trade them like Pokémon cards.

Why on Earth would you think he had not shared them? That's literally why most men record them in the first place.

Fruitynutcase · 01/09/2023 20:31

jimbojool · 01/09/2023 20:27

I obviously don’t know for sure but I’m assuming he would never post these videos. You can clearly see him and myself in the video so why would he risk posting it online, knowing that it’s a criminal offence.

I don’t know why he’s doing it maybe for some sick fetish he has. This obviously does not make it right at all.

I honestly don’t know what to think. I guess the thought of him getting arrested literally gives me anxiety and I feel vulnerable as it is right now.

What if his computer got hacked ? He filmed you OP without your consent. That is a boundary violation . Act now before these films leak out . You will be venerable , judged and humiliated not him . Act now .

Fruitynutcase · 01/09/2023 20:34

jimbojool · 01/09/2023 20:30

Just to clarify the filming was not consensual. The sex was. I also am assuming these videos are not online. His face is in the video so why would he risk this by posting online?

He could blur out his face but not yours . If you report it you will be protected with anonymity. What is it your afraid of OP ? People guessing it's you ? Even if they work out it's you people will be supportive.

Ibetthatyoulookgoodon · 01/09/2023 20:36

I would report him to the police but at the very least get his laptop and destroy it. He’s probably got back ups though, on a drive, or it could be saved in the cloud. I think you are being very naive to think he won’t / hasn’t shared it with anyone and my number 1 priority would he making sure I limited his opportunity to do so.

Haveallthesongsbeenwritten · 01/09/2023 20:37

jimbojool · 01/09/2023 19:51

I came across videos on my ex-boyfriend's laptop where I discovered that I was being filmed without my consent. This happened a while ago, but it has been weighing heavily on my mind and I feel scared and unsure about what to do next.

What's even more distressing is that I found videos of other girls who also seemed unaware of being filmed. This revelation has deeply shaken me, especially because I had been in love with him for years and considered him my best friend. Despite feeling confused, shocked, and violated, I still find myself caring for him despite his betrayal.

I am struggling to figure out the next steps to take and how to process my emotions. While I don't wish any harm upon him, it's clear that he doesn't care about me. Additionally, he is currently involved with someone else, which adds to my confusion and uncertainty about what to think or do.

I would appreciate any information or support anyone can provide. Are there any charities I can reach out to for help or any legal advice that I should consider seeking?

Police and you need a lawyer

Janieforever · 01/09/2023 20:38

It’s clear you’re still deeply in love with him, no one who isn’t could take the route you are, you are prioritising him above what he’s done, you, the other women, for you it’s all about him.

I feel sorry for you. Being desperately in love with an ex to this extent is brutal. You need to actually understand why you’re in such a state with him and how to get over it, before you make a decision on what to do.

Original poster
jimbojool · 01/09/2023 20:41

He is kind of in the public light. Hence also why i feel like it could potentially blow up. Which I am scared of.

OP posts:
ohsuzannah · 01/09/2023 20:42

I'd pour petrol over his laptop and set it alight ( outside obviously) 😡

Original poster
jimbojool · 01/09/2023 20:43

This is exactly how I feel. I loved him very much and since we have been separated my attachment is slowly releasing and can start to see things a bit clearer without my rose tinted glasses on.

I also went back with him after I first saw a video years ago. Long story short - I’ve been having therapy and came to the conclusion I’ve been in a narcissistic relationship. The trauma bond has made me go back so many times when I wasn’t thinking straight. Just for some context here.

OP posts:
Original poster
jimbojool · 01/09/2023 20:44

I am not in contact with him anymore I’ve blocked him so couldn’t get the laptop if I wanted to.

OP posts:
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