Going against court order

[Juststopamoment]

My children have a court order whereby they have to see their paternal grandparents.

They have been made increasingly uncomfortable by the grandmother talking about her numerous miscarriages and the American school massacres. They told me when she did this and I told our intermediary (their son) and it stopped.

I’ve recently found out that my younger son has a severe grass allergy and lesser tree allergy and it’s triggering asthma. They were told this and took them to a national park after giving the kids 2 options both of which were parks. I wasn’t consulted except to say that they were going outside. My children told me by messaging me and I told them that they couldn’t take them there and that I would stop access if they did. I have never stopped them going anywhere else. This triggered a 20 minute session of bad nothing me to the children. The children told me about what happened. The grandparents are denying it. I have proven the grandparents to be liars on many occasions but calling my kids liars has now crossed a line.

I’ve over this and the children don’t want to see them now. I showed them the email they sent me (7 pages) and the children said they are lying. My kids are 13 and nearly 12 (in March). Can we stop without going to court? I don’t have the money to go.

I doubt a court would enforce an order at 12 and 13. At 12 my ds went nc with his df despite a 50/50 court order in place..

@Trenchfootinthescottishhighlandstoday did you have to go to court or did you just stop? They will take me to court.

@Trenchfootinthescottishhighlandstoday what happens if they turn up to your house with the police and force you to hand over the kids?

I thought grandparents didn't have any rights

Can I get arrested?

Ime police don't get involved...

@Cowlover89 they absolutely shouldn’t have but they were handed access because their son died.

Why don't antihistamines and an inhaler work on your son? You'll be asked this in court if you breach the order.

However, if they do not wish to see their grandparents, you could go back to court without triggering a breach - it'll look better than something that sounds more like a flimsy excuse that could be solved with Piriton and salbutamol.

@NeverDropYourMooncup im basing it on a school trip my son went on where he stayed in a barn in fields and he was taking both and still couldn’t get his symptoms under control. Also it’s very early days with this and no definitive diagnosis of asthma with ongoing tests so I have kept him away from all of this. My issue is that how can we continue doing this indefinitely when she is constantly making them feel uncomfortable? Do they not have a choice?

Tbh it sounds a bit like you ate using the kids in your dispute. Showing the kids emails and refusing outings to the park all sound a bit extreme. If they actually have an allergy give the appropriate treatment. Are you actually saying that your child is not allowed to go anywhere with grass?

@cansu I was told by the allergy clinic he had an extreme allergy to grass so I wouldn’t take him to a national park. But it’s the consequent bad mouthing and inappropriate discussions and now denying they said anything my kids said they said.

@cansu I’m over it all and the kids are not happy to see them. That was a decision they made. My older son was on the fence bout the last outing has made up his mind now.

I did actually say to them they didn’t want to do the next Zoom call and that I would ask them again about the next face to face and I was sent a 7 page email accusing me of defamation and manipulation.

What a shame that you cant work with them to foster a good relationship between your children and their grandparents.
How does your DS manage with a ‘severe grass allergy’? He must never be able to step foot out of the house!

@cansu I showed the kids the email because I wanted to find out if the grandparents were lying. Is that extreme?

Are you in the UK? At 12 and 13 they would have a say and be taken seriously.

@Soontobe60 it is a shame isn’t it? But when your children get accused of lying it’s game over for me.

This. They are a link to their father. I can't believe they had to go to court in the first place.

A child who can’t go on grass at all?? 😬😬 sounds a very miserable life. I think you need to seek further medical advice for that.

@Soontobe60 would you allow your child to go to a national park when they had a severe allergy to grass and trees? You are a braver person than me. We haven’t done anything like that this summer holidays until we know what is going on.

@Mum1976Mum please read the post. That is part of a wider problem.

I would imagine that their father could take them to visit their grandparents to anyway or does he not have contact?