Who is next of kin of newborn baby if unmarried mum is incapacitated?

[WhatTheFuckDoIDo123]

I'm pregnant, father is my fiance. I've listed him as my chosen next of kin on hospital forms, however I know he wouldn't have parental responsibility for baby without attending registration with me.

Due to some pregnancy complications, I'll need a C section and am at higher risk of complications such as a haemorrhage. If I haemorrhage and get put under general so I can't make decisions and they want to do tests etc to baby, who is the next of kin? Will my fiance be able to consent in my absence even though birth isn't registered yet? Or would it go to someone else?

This says the biologicsl father is presumed to be the legal father

Get it written in your notes
As he is your fiance snd you want him to be the father is should not be an issue

https://www.wrighthassall.co.uk/knowledge-base/unmarried-fathers-what-rights-do-you-have

A child can have a maximum of two legal parents, one of whom is always the birth mother, regardless of her circumstances and marital status, and will be named on the child’s birth certificate. The other legal parent is usually, but not always, the genetic father

A child can have a maximum of two legal parents.

More than two people can have parental responsibility.

Yes that's fine if the partner is on the birth certificate , but when the Mother dies in childbirth it's a whole different ball game .

The case that you use to back up your incorrect information? That’s the case you’re refusing to post a link to?

If the mother dies in childbirth then the hospital are going to look to the partner who is there at the hospital and is named as the father by the mother in her maternity notes. If there is a dispute then social services will get involved, the father can prove paternity if necessary and then there won't be an ongoing problem.

No it isn't.

As I have already explained, when there is no one with parental responsibility available, social services are responsible for placing the child, until a permanent arrangement (if one is required) can be made.

If you think I'm wrong, show me some actual evidence. Otherwise stop upsetting the OP with scare-mongering about her parents that it isn't true.

I'd like to say I really hope not to die in childbirth! I'm taking every step possible to make sure I'm in a position where I have medical help, and would accept all help they could give me (including blood etc etc). The most likely senario would be I need surgery after birth and could of course take some time to come round to a point where I can do much.

Essentially all the things they ask for permission for that aren't emergency e.g. heel prick tests, vitamin K injections etc. Would my fiance be able to consent to these in my place? Would the doctor decide to do them without consent? Not do them because they couldn't ask me?

Would my fiance be able to be with the baby? Hold them, look after them, skin to skin, bond? What if my parents turned up and said they were nok as not married and tried to have him kicked out? What if the doctor wants to run a test and my parents and him have different opinions? Who would they listen to?

It is a problem , a legal problem and has caused heartache for many Fathers who have to jump through legal hoops for Hospitals to release the custody of new born babies whose Mothers have died .

Nicely put MissLucy

The reality is that the doctors are highly likely to accept your fiancé's consent about this sort of routine thing, coupled with the knowledge that they are in the child's best interests. However, if you are worried, write down what you want, including that you want him to be consulted. It's not legally binding on the doctors, but they can take it into account.

Honestly, try not to worry too much. As PPs have said, it's unlikely that anyone is going to be asking for formal proof of the legal status of the baby's father when it comes to routine care of the baby.

You are operating under the assumption that there is only one clear approach to treatment. Often there are multiple possible approaches and doctors know that each comes with potential benefits and potential risks. We don’t have to jump to the assumption of obstructionist parents preventing necessary treatment. We are simply talking about patients or parents being involved in the discussions if time allows, which is their legal right.

How long till you're due? Honestly I'd just get married if you can fit it in op. Of his family don't understand that this is a legal matter to protect baby and NOT a wedding for everyone to celebrate, that that'll come when it would have come, they're not really as amazing as he thinks.

I asked the medical team this when facing an early emergency c-section while hospitalised with complications last year. They assured me I could list my partner (baby's father) as next of kin and they understood I wanted him to speak on our behalf if needed.

We knew our baby would have to stay in the hospital for a while after delivery and from the outset it was clear they viewed my partner as an equal parent. They involved us both in our baby's care and I have no doubt they'd have continued to involve him in if I was incapacitated.

As others have said, it's a good idea to talk to the hospital staff and write down your wishes for peace of mind, but try not to worry.

Why do you think this will happen?

If this is. Risk go down registry and get marrid!

What if my parents turned up and said they were nok as not married and tried to have him kicked out?

Are they likely to?
If so just get married now
Alleviate the anxiety

What if the doctor wants to run a test and my parents and him have different opinions? Who would they listen to?

They will listen to the dad unless he has views which are not in baby' s best interests

Why don't you write your thoughts on heel prick, vitamin K injections etc into your birth plan. This way your views are clearly documented in a recognised format.
Then if there was a dispute doctors could refer to this as being your wishes which I guess your finance agrees with.

You could also get lasting power of attorney for medical put into place with your finance as attorney. If you were incapacitated and unable to medical decisions the LPA would legally give him and him alone the right to make decisions for you. This is never a bad thing to do and it will continue to be in force even after your baby is born.

@WhatTheFuckDoIDo123 don’t forget to put things like skin to skin with the father, consent to heel prick, vit K and all of that stuff in your birth plan too - we did as a sort of belt and braces approach and we are married. It helps to have it all written down.

Sometimes my parents can be difficult and I don't want them turning up and demanding he be kicked out in favour of them.

Don't tell them you're in labour.

I'm pretty sure the birth plan document asks about vitamin K, and possibly the heel prick. So make sure you've chosen to have those (I'm assuming you want baby to have them) I'm your birth plan and I'm sure they'll do them.

I’ve been through this. My fiancé at the time was baby’s father and I had a medical emergency after my c-section and ended up in a coma. Partner was down as my next of kin and baby’s father. It was straightforward and decisions regarding baby/me were his.

Have him registered as your NOK, I saw a situation during covid where a woman who lived with her fiancé had not updated her NOK and her mum completely took over any decision making and all of the visitor slots, her fiancé was well and truly pushed out, so make sure you’ve updated that.

An LPA is an excellent idea, to give the fiancé decision-making input for the OP, if she is temporarily incapacitated. It won't give him any rights to make decisions for the baby, though.

Get it all written down in your notes, what you want for baby and that you want DF to be consulted.

I know you said your DF's family want to be at the wedding but you could do a registry office, just the two of you and two witnesses and not tell them.

Then just plan the wedding as normal, just without signing the register.

Until relatively recently most weddings outside C or E churches and registry offices were not legal marriages so people would pop to the registry office the day before the religious service.

Now you can get married anywhere that is licenced, no one could tell if it is a legal wedding or just a celebration.

I hope all goes well with the birth and with the wedding.

Thanks for replies, I made sure he was my NOK from the beginning, it's baby I'm concerned about. I'll have a chat with consultant at next appointment.

I have no plans of letting my parents know the plans for baby arrival. They won't know my section date. However, other relatives work in the hosptial that could see me going down or recovering etc. I know they're not supposed to but the risk is there.

Make it known to hospital staff that you don't want anybody saying anything if anyone turns up or calls for updates. Even tell them that the only other person who knows your whereabouts is your husband.

Tell them that you know people who work in the hospital and you want to keep everything private.