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Original poster

Nightmare Neighbour

61 replies

Neighbours12 · 16/06/2023 19:52

Hello

Please can I have some advice.

We moved into out new home 2 years ago. I live with my husband and two young girls. Unfortunately our neighbour us constantly rude and runs us down at the the top of the voice and shouts things over the fence when our young children are playing. They are an elderly couple and I know the women falls out with everyone and by her own admission her children, grandchildren and great children have nothing to do with her. Her partners children also have nothing to do with him so clearly she has issues.

We are a quiet family, the girls play out between 4 and 5:30pm in the summer months ( they are in bed by 6:00pm) and the minute we open our door to out garden she's shouting abuse. It even happens if I simply go to let my dog outside for a wee.

I'm aware they drink heavily and often are very drunk by the afternoon.

I have reported it to 101 however nothing comes of it.

What are my next steps as I'm pretty sure they are taking pictures of my kids in there bathing suits in the paddling pool also.

OP posts:
AmandaHoldensLips · 17/06/2023 16:47

You need to contact the anti-social behaviour team at your local council. Report every incident, and I mean every single thing. Do not antagonise them so any recording will have to be very discreet so they don't know you're doing it.

Neighbour disputes are awful and bear in mind that once you go official with it, you will have to declare it when you sell your house (if you are a home owner).

Speak to your local police - they will have a neighbourhood policing team - and get their advice.

OttoGraph · 17/06/2023 16:52

Record every time you open the back door, do this over a two week period and take to the police as you want this situation sorted as anti social behaviour

collect evidence, video and recording so it clear. Start the recording before opening the door and finish after closing the door

Original poster
Neighbours12 · 17/06/2023 18:24

Hiya

Definitely going to install a camera. Luckily we have got some excellent recordings from today alone.

The thing is I feel so uncomfortable in my garden now, my kids love playing in it though so don't want to stop them or feel we have to go out.

I don't want to walk round with ear plugs, Amy tips to ignore them whilst I collect my evidence and recordings?

I really don't want to not use my garden x

OP posts:
Ilikewinter · 17/06/2023 18:31

Carry on as normal, or even go out more often if it means that you can collect your evidence quicker!. It will demonstrate the level of incidents that you are suffering. You dont need to react to her, just let her crack on and blissfully ignore it.

Fiddlechops82 · 17/06/2023 18:33

Do they do the same to the other neighbour?

CherryCokeFanatic · 17/06/2023 18:46

Situation will never change you can do your best to mitigate (higher fence, trellis, paddling pool under gazebo etc) but really just move and let someone else deal with her

DiscoBeat · 17/06/2023 18:51

First thing to do is buy a diary and start writing down dates/times/exactly what was said. And take video too. They sound vile.

username98765 · 17/06/2023 19:13

Keep reporting them and keep a log of everything that happens. I have been in a similar situation but unfortunately it resulted in us moving when we really didn't want to. Really hope you can sort it out.

Sunshinegirl82 · 17/06/2023 19:18

Do you own or rent your property? Do you know if they own or rent theirs?

Original poster
Neighbours12 · 17/06/2023 19:24

We both own our properties.

She moans about all the other neighbours, but we are the ones directly next door and unfortunately their windows upstairs overlook directly into my garden x

OP posts:
flexigirl · 17/06/2023 19:27

Do you respond to her OP ? I think you're an absolute saint for not telling her to shut the fuck up and mind her business !

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 17/06/2023 19:28

She sounds unhinged.

What height is your current fence? Can you get one that is higher?

Agree with pp, go out even more often and collect evidence.

I would be tempted to talk to a solicitor.

Meanwhile, get a bluetooth wireless speaker and play music on it from your phone; position the speaker between where you like to be in your yard, and the fence or boundary. That will blot out some of her raving.

When you're not outdoors, play polka music or the Macarena or something on it; perhaps she'll stay indoors. Get two speakers so one can always be charging. They are quite reasonably priced.

cannaecookrisotto · 17/06/2023 19:30

flexigirl · 17/06/2023 19:27

Do you respond to her OP ? I think you're an absolute saint for not telling her to shut the fuck up and mind her business !

I was going to suggest this.

Next time she pipes up, tell your children to go in the house and once they're out of earshot tell her to shut the fuck up, she's a nasty old bastard and you're building a case for harassment so she better tread carefully.

Get the kids back out and document/record everything.

Some people like that only respond to language they understand, and sometimes that means meeting fire with fire.

Original poster
Neighbours12 · 17/06/2023 19:43

I never respond because I think she's very unstable and also she's often drunk so I think she would swear even more. She talks to the plants in her garden if there's noone outside, saying they are her angels and she watches them.

I think if we responded it may give her the attention she desperately graves, she clearly is desperate for a reaction.

I'm definitely going to get some music speakers and a camera x

OP posts:
2bazookas · 17/06/2023 19:54

I'd report the picture taking to police and use that as an "in " for complaint about the other harassment.

Fiddlechops82 · 17/06/2023 20:40

What are my next steps as I'm pretty sure they are taking pictures of my kids in there bathing suits in the paddling pool also.

what is your thinking here?

because you spend a lot of time focussing on her shouting this and that, but in the above comment you are implying they are paedophiles.

Original poster
Neighbours12 · 17/06/2023 20:50

This is of course my main worry. The picture taking when we are in swimming costumes. I wanted to report it straight away, but one response said maybe they are using the phone to make me feel uncomfortable, so unlikely as that is, what if I report them and the police cannot find the photos.

I am very worried about the picture taking.

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 17/06/2023 21:18

OP, it might be worth you discussing it with the police either way (especially the taking photos thing).
I don't want to tell you that they will do something about the taking photos because my neighbours have filmed my child on numerous occasions and it is legal. Obviously wrong but legal. And people don't believe this until they've been in the exact situation. (I don't believe they're paedophiles etc mine just did it as part of their ongoing harassment of us they just wanted us to feel uncomfortable in our garden and therefore move out).
But I'm just wondering if it might be worthwhile to discuss it with them so you're not wondering all the time about it.

Original poster
Neighbours12 · 17/06/2023 21:25

I will report it as I'd rather be safe than sorry. I thought it was illegal if its on private property but legal of its in a park or other public place etc x

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 17/06/2023 21:32

Neighbours12 · 17/06/2023 21:25

I will report it as I'd rather be safe than sorry. I thought it was illegal if its on private property but legal of its in a park or other public place etc x

Yes I thought very different things till it happened to me.
For example in my case (like in yours) me neighbours can see our garden from their window. So they can film from their window.
I know it's inconceivable till you're in this situation but apparently a garden is classed as a public place, because my neighbours can see our garden it's not illegal. I've had more than one officer tell me this. They have also told me (and my neighbour) that I'm within my rights to film them back too if I wanted to.
It would be different if for example you had to climb up the fence to film someone and if we believe these people were using the videos for more sinister intentions.

But yes there's certainly no harm in logging it.
Police may possibly go to them and just have a word with them about it all anyway. For some people that's enough for it to stop (unfortunately not the case with mine but there you go)

purpleme12 · 17/06/2023 21:39

(mine was filming, rather than photos)

Irridescantshimmmer · 17/06/2023 21:45

Go to your local councils' website and find out who your local councillor is and contact them about it as a councillor can help escalate the matter(s).

The female nieghbour sounds unhinged especially if she's filming or taking photos of little kids in their paddling pool, as that is more than de-ranged..

I think they would be looking at an ASBO, or similar because her behaviour should come to the attention of the authorities because she has no right to ruin yours and your famillies' peace.

I also advise you to log dates and times as well as details as evidence, film as much as you can if possible.

Fiddlechops82 · 18/06/2023 06:23

Neighbours12 · 17/06/2023 20:50

This is of course my main worry. The picture taking when we are in swimming costumes. I wanted to report it straight away, but one response said maybe they are using the phone to make me feel uncomfortable, so unlikely as that is, what if I report them and the police cannot find the photos.

I am very worried about the picture taking.

Who cares what one anonymous poster on a chat forum says

parent up op

if you have a suspicion your neighbours are filming your daughters - then quit with the “I just want to enjoy my garden” etc and report your suspicions to the police.

They aren’t bothered about your neighbour whining at you about the noise. They WILL be bothered about a mother anxious about her young girls being filmed

Thegoodbadandugly · 18/06/2023 07:58

Fiddlechops82 · 17/06/2023 16:37

Presumably you have been in contact with SS to convey your concerns?

Show quote history

It's all in hand.

Foodfan · 18/06/2023 08:02

Get a large gazebo or awning to go over the garden from your back door. It will massively reduce her being able to see and far less likely to comment too.

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