Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Original poster

Husband has stolen my identity

130 replies

SewMumSew · 07/04/2023 08:35

Hi All,

Hoping someone with knowledge in this area can advise me

I've just discovered that my husband of 10 years has taken out various unsecured loans/credit cards in my name to the tune of £27,000. I had no knowledge of these debts and certainly didn't give my consent for any of it. I am currently on UC as not working. He appears to have been servicing these debts up till December 22 when the relationship with his business partner broke down and he left the company they were both directors of. I am in arrears with all of them as a result of this. I have asked him to leave and he is looking into his options. We are joint tenants of our Housing Association property. I have a 13 year old daughter from my first marriage who will obviously stay with me.

I have contacted all these creditors (4 in total) and they have started fraud investigations on the accounts. Do you think it'll be possible to get them written off since they were taken out fraudulently, or is my best option to go into a DRO or other debt solution?

Please be kind, I'm absolutely fucking heartbroken

Thanks

OP posts:
heldinadream · 07/04/2023 08:50

Hi Op, what a horrible thing to happen, I'm so sorry. Can you consult a specialist debt charity for advice? My inclination is that this is as much a crime within a marriage as it would be in any other context, so you could be reporting it to the police, but the difficulty would be proving that you were not complicit in taking out the loans.
You must be reeling.
Will the HA let you take over the tenancy?

prh47bridge · 07/04/2023 08:52

If the lenders agree that this is fraudulent, they will not pursue you for them. They may, of course, pursue your husband.

CleaningOutMyCloset · 07/04/2023 09:03

Report it to the creditor (as you have done) and the police. If the creditor won't write it off as fraud then contact the financial ombudsman who will be able to help you.

Karatema · 07/04/2023 09:06

Yes, this ^^
But remember you have to wait for an answer from the companies before you go to the Ombudsman but there's lots of advice on their website.

ApocalypseNowt · 07/04/2023 09:16

Phone Action Fraud first then a debt advice charity .

Sorry this happened to you OP

MrsMoastyToasty · 07/04/2023 09:26

Phone the police, explain everything and get a crime reference number .
Go to CAB or a debt advice charity and take the crime reference number with you. Explain everything about the fraud .
Get them to check your credit report to see if there's any other debts lurking
They can negotiate with the lenders on your behalf.
If you haven't done so already, open new sole bank accounts, ideally with a bank that isn't linked (ie in the same group of companies) with your husband. Get your old accounts frozen.

knittingaddict · 07/04/2023 09:50

If they are genuinely fraud committed by your husband then of course you report it and get it investigated. Why on earth would you go bankrupt for something you haven't done? It seems like a no brainer to me. I woud report to the police too. I would only do this if I had no knowledge of the fraud when it happened though and would want to be very sure of my position.

Hollyoaksisshit · 07/04/2023 11:18

Exactly this happened to someone I'm close to, his (now ex) DP took out multiple loans and credit cards in his name and without his knowledge. He hasn't done anything about it yet (burying his head in the sand) but I spoke to a helpline on his behalf (at his request) and got some info for when he's ready. I can't post links for some reason since the MN 'upgrade' but the website is moneyadviceplus.org.uk and the helpline number is on there, they were really good and sent me lots of info. They can tell you more than me but what your husband has done is economic abuse and would be deemed 'coerced debt' because you didn't willingly/knowingly take out credit, so yes, in some cases it can be written off/chased in his name rather than yours. Give the helpline a call, they will tell you everything you need to know Flowers

whistkesore · 07/04/2023 11:20

How awful - sending a handhold OP.

Things feel bad now I’m certain but you will get away from this creature. Do a credit check to see if there are other debts..

determinedtomakethiswork · 07/04/2023 11:27

That is really terrible. I'm so sorry for you. I wouldn't hesitate to get the police involved in this. Otherwise you'll be spending the rest of your life paying that money back and he will have moved onto another woman and be doing the same thing there.

IWineAndDontDine · 07/04/2023 11:43

I know it seems harsh to report to police, but he didn't care much about your feelings when he was stealing money from you and risking someone coming to your door and taking all your possessions. Please report to police. Even if you don't think you have much to go on, it will show the creditors you are serious about these accusations.

Bookworms77 · 07/04/2023 11:44

This exact thing happened to my friend. She is now divorced from this prince but is left paying off all the debt. While he is on to another relationship.
She informed the police and creditors etc but even so she ended up liable. It’s down to proof that your not complicit and that’s hard to prove. The police did say that she could try press charges for coercive control and financial abuse but they didn’t sound too enthusiastic. My friends ex stopped paying bills he was responsible for and even remortgaged the house. He was hiding credit card bills that were in her name. Awful.

I really hope this works out for you op and I don’t want to distress you but it wasn’t a good outcome for my poor friend.

Bookworms77 · 07/04/2023 11:46

Also my friend found out because bailiffs came to her door. They advised she search the house and when she did she found all the evidence hidden in his things, when she checked her credit score more and more was revealed.

glowyhighway · 07/04/2023 12:05

Spousal identity theft can be hard to establish. The first thing you should do is get it in writing that you had no knowledge of any of this at all, and that you have asked him to leave. Even Whatsapp messages will help.

weightymatters73 · 07/04/2023 12:28

knittingaddict · 07/04/2023 09:50

If they are genuinely fraud committed by your husband then of course you report it and get it investigated. Why on earth would you go bankrupt for something you haven't done? It seems like a no brainer to me. I woud report to the police too. I would only do this if I had no knowledge of the fraud when it happened though and would want to be very sure of my position.

Unfortunately being married means it's basically joint debt.

Your best course of action is to get HIM to acknowledge the debt as his and sort it out when/if you divorce...

Viviennemary · 07/04/2023 12:32

They will want conclusive proof you had no knowledge. How did he even manage to take out those loans if you are on UC or were you not on it at the time. That is a lot of debt.

Whiteroomjoy · 07/04/2023 12:36

God, this takes me back years with my exH. He took out 2 credits cards in my name ( he was unemployed and me working). He loaded them up with spending for household spends rather than using “our household “ /my income . He had asked me to take out these credit cards to “spread costs” and I refused point blank . He throw a hissy fit at the time saying I wasn’t working as a team for us financially etc etc. I didn’t know until 6 months later when the statement came in post while I was actually in . I then found out he’d taken the second card as well. Forged my signature, opened mail addressed to me etc. and saddled me with £10k of debt in my name only so he could keep his savings
he couldn’t understand why I went apeshit. He got really angry when I said he was to pay them off immediately for his savings- he kept saying I was mad and mental if I couldn’t understand it was in “our best interest” to have this debt building . When I pointed out he had committed a criminal offence and fraud he said I was being hysterical. He only cleared the debt 1 month later when I said I was about to go to the police.

he just couldn’t see he’d done anything worng. I think there are a lot of husband with male entitlement that means what they earn is “mine” to decide how to spend, but what their wife wins is “ours” and I can make decisions on her behalf without her knowledge of consent as “ I know best”

sanityisamyth · 07/04/2023 12:37

Mine did exactly that to me. Was fucking horrific. I only found out after we split and I was then getting letters about my credit card that had defaulted. What fucking credit card?! It's nearly 6 years on now and it's just about to leave my credit report. I've been turned down for some many mortgages and everything is at a much higher interest rate than I should be entitled to.

Step change was amazing though. They will sort all the creditors out although you will probably end up with a default.

I'm so sorry this happened to you.

sanityisamyth · 07/04/2023 12:38

Action fraud, and none of the creditors, were interested as all the loans he took out in my name went into a joint account (that I had no access to so I had no idea). Couldn't prove that it was him that took them out as all he had to do was tick a box as a signature on a web form.

EmmaEmerald · 07/04/2023 12:40

There's something seriously wrong with the systems that this can happen

SchoolTripDrama · 07/04/2023 13:23

This happened to me and unfortunately, I had absolutely no way of proving it was my ex! Even though most of the debts were things like a credit account with the Snap On Tool truck and he's a sodding mechanic!
So I ended up being liable for the debts. I'm not trying to worry you OP, just prepare you that there is always a chance that it may go this way - HOWEVER, in my case it wasn't anywhere near £27,000! So hopefully in your case the Police/Action Fraud will take more of an interest and open a proper investigation

SchoolTripDrama · 07/04/2023 13:28

Seriously OP, if you don't report him to the police and pursue him legally then you're almost definitely going to be left paying £27,000 all on your own. Whilst he moves on with his life happily.

uggmum · 07/04/2023 13:34

I work at a bank and we had a customer whose Husband had done the same thing.

Once it had been established as fraud the debts were written off.

Greenfairydust · 07/04/2023 13:41

Well, he might have taken this in your name but I assume the money went into an account in his name rather than a joint account where you would have noticed the issue immediately so there is a trail there/evidence that the money did not get to you and that you had no knowledge of it.

You need to

  • report this to action fraud
  • report this to the police
  • divorce that vile creature.
Irritateandunreasonable · 07/04/2023 13:42

He’s in so much trouble. I think you’ll be able to get it sorted but I also think he might go to prison.