Page 2 | Husband Stopped Paying Financial Order

Soontobe60 · 02/03/2023 20:41

Freakzilla · 02/03/2023 17:34

His property is worth in excess of £1 million. He had very well paying jobs and will have extremely good pension schemes.

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How do you know this? He may well have no pension at all. If the financial order was made when he was 40, surely his pension wouldn’t have been so big then? What do you think the reason is why he’s stopped giving your DM the money?

Original poster

Freakzilla · 02/03/2023 20:49

Soontobe60 · 02/03/2023 20:41

How do you know this? He may well have no pension at all. If the financial order was made when he was 40, surely his pension wouldn’t have been so big then? What do you think the reason is why he’s stopped giving your DM the money?

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I have his address. When you check on the zoopla equivalent in USA it states it's worth over £1.4 million.

I know the positions he's had and they are very well paying jobs. He was able to retire early as a result.

I feel he thinks he's in another country and it won't be easy to enforce, so why not try it on. Nothing to lose.

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Littleflowerseverywhere · 02/03/2023 22:43

Ok then if he moved to the us 20,years ago it’s unlikely he’s stopped paying now because he’s in the us.

I don’t quite agree with life long spousal maintenance for a 47 year old,as your mother was at the time, or that marriage is a meal ticket for life as she’s had. But that was the order and if so he needs to pay. If he refuses there is little to be done and I’d try to work out how to support her.

Littleflowerseverywhere · 02/03/2023 22:44

I feel he thinks he's in another country and it won't be easy to enforce, so why not try it on. Nothing to lose

why do you feel this, if he lived there for 20 years before he stopped?

Original poster

Freakzilla · 02/03/2023 23:41

Littleflowerseverywhere · 02/03/2023 22:43

Ok then if he moved to the us 20,years ago it’s unlikely he’s stopped paying now because he’s in the us.

I don’t quite agree with life long spousal maintenance for a 47 year old,as your mother was at the time, or that marriage is a meal ticket for life as she’s had. But that was the order and if so he needs to pay. If he refuses there is little to be done and I’d try to work out how to support her.

If you call being lied to, cheated on, and bringing up a young child by yourself as your husband is working abroad for 10 months of the year a meal ticket, then you'd be correct. I personally wouldn't

He and his legal team agreed to the terms. At no point did they try and add any caveats.

A lot can be done, that's why we have a legal system, otherwise what's the point of having legally enforceable orders?!

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Original poster

Freakzilla · 02/03/2023 23:46

Littleflowerseverywhere · 02/03/2023 22:44

I feel he thinks he's in another country and it won't be easy to enforce, so why not try it on. Nothing to lose

why do you feel this, if he lived there for 20 years before he stopped?

He previously had a property in the UK, this has subsequently been sold.

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GoldilockMom · 02/03/2023 23:56

You can ask a lawyer to write anything in a letter - it doesn’t mean it’s covered by law. It’s a letter they’re paid to write for a desired outcome.

He should either pay or ask for a review of the order if he feels it’s unfair. He signed that contract.

Original poster

Freakzilla · 03/03/2023 00:09

GoldilockMom · 02/03/2023 23:56

You can ask a lawyer to write anything in a letter - it doesn’t mean it’s covered by law. It’s a letter they’re paid to write for a desired outcome.

He should either pay or ask for a review of the order if he feels it’s unfair. He signed that contract.

👏

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SomeFuckingWizardry · 03/03/2023 00:32

Apologies for asking this, but it's just you've only referred to contacting him by post... have you been in more recent contact with him in person or by phone? Is it possible he has stopped paying if he has passed away or become ill with dementia or something? Apologies again, just the tone of your messages suggests you maybe aren't in regular contact so could this be possible?

SomeFuckingWizardry · 03/03/2023 00:36

SomeFuckingWizardry · 03/03/2023 00:32

Apologies for asking this, but it's just you've only referred to contacting him by post... have you been in more recent contact with him in person or by phone? Is it possible he has stopped paying if he has passed away or become ill with dementia or something? Apologies again, just the tone of your messages suggests you maybe aren't in regular contact so could this be possible?

Actually that makes no sense as then how would his solicitors have known to contact you - nevermind me!

Original poster

Freakzilla · 03/03/2023 00:41

SomeFuckingWizardry · 03/03/2023 00:36

Actually that makes no sense as then how would his solicitors have known to contact you - nevermind me!

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Maybe time to get a new wand 😉

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BetterFuture1985 · 03/03/2023 11:49

Freakzilla · 02/03/2023 15:09

Hi Guys,

My parents divorced in 1990. My father lives in USA and in October 2021 he stopped paying what he should as part of their financial order. I think he thought as he is in another country it would be hard to enforce. My mum is 80 and has suffered with depression for 20 years. There is no way she would be able to deal with this herself. I contacted him stating if he didn't pay the money outstanding she would get a lawyer to report the breach to court. When I contacted him I put a copy of the consent order in with the letter. Today I received a letter from his solicitor in the UK asking for her details as they are unable to deal with me, and she has broken the confidentiality of their divorce by giving me the paperwork.

Has anyone had this happen? Should I be worried?

Thanks

Why on earth is he still paying a financial order 31 years after they divorced? I would want to stop paying by now too to be honest!

Legally I think some states are "non-REMO" which will make the order impossible to enforce. Assuming they are REMO, then it could be enforced but I can't help feeling sorry for the man having to carry a deadweight for the last 31 years! I mean your mother was 49 when she divorced, why didn't she get a job for goodness sake?

Original poster

Freakzilla · 03/03/2023 12:47

BetterFuture1985 · 03/03/2023 11:49

Why on earth is he still paying a financial order 31 years after they divorced? I would want to stop paying by now too to be honest!

Legally I think some states are "non-REMO" which will make the order impossible to enforce. Assuming they are REMO, then it could be enforced but I can't help feeling sorry for the man having to carry a deadweight for the last 31 years! I mean your mother was 49 when she divorced, why didn't she get a job for goodness sake?

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Because it's a legally binding contract. He has considerable assets. He signed the contract, nobody forced him. he didn't try and negotiate anything. He clearly didn't think about the bigger picture at the time.

The state he lives in is Remo, otherwise I wouldn't of bothered with this. You clearly are not a nice person. If someone you cared about what effected in the same way would you have the same view? Her first husband died suddenly when they were 30. After the divorce she did get a job, but has been suffering with severe depression for 20 years and has been unable to work. Also what bearing does that have. A legally binding court order is in place. Everything else is irrelevant.

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titchy · 03/03/2023 12:48

Why on earth is he still paying a financial order 31 years after they divorced? I would want to stop paying by now too to be honest!

Weirdly the law takes precedent over what someone wants.

HermioneWeasley · 03/03/2023 12:54

if the order only applies while he’s alive, does your Mum have any other income if he dies?

Original poster

Freakzilla · 03/03/2023 12:57

titchy · 03/03/2023 12:48

Why on earth is he still paying a financial order 31 years after they divorced? I would want to stop paying by now too to be honest!

Weirdly the law takes precedent over what someone wants.

Praise the lord! Another person who sees sense!

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Original poster

Freakzilla · 03/03/2023 12:59

HermioneWeasley · 03/03/2023 12:54

if the order only applies while he’s alive, does your Mum have any other income if he dies?

At the moment, it's about thinking about the now.

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Original poster

Freakzilla · 03/03/2023 13:06

BetterFuture1985 · 03/03/2023 11:49

Why on earth is he still paying a financial order 31 years after they divorced? I would want to stop paying by now too to be honest!

Legally I think some states are "non-REMO" which will make the order impossible to enforce. Assuming they are REMO, then it could be enforced but I can't help feeling sorry for the man having to carry a deadweight for the last 31 years! I mean your mother was 49 when she divorced, why didn't she get a job for goodness sake?

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Also as you are a law student, you would advise people to not pay a court order?

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BatshitCrazyWoman · 03/03/2023 13:35

Freakzilla · 03/03/2023 13:06

Also as you are a law student, you would advise people to not pay a court order?

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Well quite. The Court has ruled, and that's legally binding, whatever Mumsnetters think. If the ex wanted to change it if his circumstances had changed, he had the opportunity to apply for a variation. Not to just stop paying.

Good luck, OP.

Original poster

Freakzilla · 03/03/2023 13:49

BatshitCrazyWoman · 03/03/2023 13:35

Well quite. The Court has ruled, and that's legally binding, whatever Mumsnetters think. If the ex wanted to change it if his circumstances had changed, he had the opportunity to apply for a variation. Not to just stop paying.

Good luck, OP.

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Thank You 😀

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SheilaFentiman · 04/03/2023 15:45

“I'll be honest though, 31 years later I'm not sure a court would enforce the order. It's almost unheard of now to have such a long financial order. Before you continue, think about whether you are likely to be successful.”

Why wouldn’t they? It was granted under the law back then, even if it perhaps wouldn’t be granted now. He’s in breach.

Original poster

Freakzilla · 05/03/2023 15:33

Thanks for everyone's thoughts. The only issue I'm unsure about is the bit about she has broken the confidentiality of their divorce by giving me the paperwork.

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BetterFuture1985 · 05/03/2023 17:46

Freakzilla · 03/03/2023 13:06

Also as you are a law student, you would advise people to not pay a court order?

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No, I wouldn't advise anyone anything because I'm only a student! But I would encourage him to seek a variation on the grounds that he can't pay. Courts apparently take a dim view of people with long term dependency on maintenance these days.

Also, if he is in a non-REMO state, I have nothing to say legally. But morally, good on him!

Original poster

Freakzilla · 05/03/2023 18:02

BetterFuture1985 · 05/03/2023 17:46

No, I wouldn't advise anyone anything because I'm only a student! But I would encourage him to seek a variation on the grounds that he can't pay. Courts apparently take a dim view of people with long term dependency on maintenance these days.

Also, if he is in a non-REMO state, I have nothing to say legally. But morally, good on him!

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Probably best you don't offer legal advice, because you clearly don't know what you are talking about.

He can still pay, he just chooses not to. When did I say he couldn't pay? If that was the case he should of tried to change the agreement instead of stopping payment entirely. Can I see examples of what your second point is based on? I've seen no such information anywhere. Please quote some cases.

Also all of USA is REMO. When did I say he was in a non REMO state?

Again your last comment says you should go against legal precedents which can lead to someone's imprisonment. Not great legal advice. In the future I can't seek you representing someone well who is looking to enforce a spousal order.

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BetterFuture1985 · 06/03/2023 20:24

Freakzilla · 05/03/2023 18:02

Probably best you don't offer legal advice, because you clearly don't know what you are talking about.

He can still pay, he just chooses not to. When did I say he couldn't pay? If that was the case he should of tried to change the agreement instead of stopping payment entirely. Can I see examples of what your second point is based on? I've seen no such information anywhere. Please quote some cases.

Also all of USA is REMO. When did I say he was in a non REMO state?

Again your last comment says you should go against legal precedents which can lead to someone's imprisonment. Not great legal advice. In the future I can't seek you representing someone well who is looking to enforce a spousal order.

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Start with Waggott. There was another case last year where a wife wanted her husband to actually go back to the Middle East rather than come home to the UK so he could earn more and pay more maintenance. Judge told her to jog on and terminated the maintenance altogether.