(namechanged)
We have three sons, all with combinations of ASD/ADHD/Dyslexia/dyspraxia/anxiety.
Our divorce was finalised in August last year, and the consent order said that “The parties agree with each other and undertake to the court to share equally the costs of school uniforms, school trips and any therapeutic or medical costs for the children of the family (other than as covered by private medical insurance as per paragraph 18 above) on the condition that any such expenses shall be agreed by the parties in advance.”
He has so far paid for half of a single (massive) uniform bill when our younger two (twins) started seniors. That’s it, nothing else.
I am picking up the cost of laptops for school, (compulsory equipment) phones, trainers, additional bits of uniform and shoes because they are growing so fast.
And also kit of scouts (uniform, sleeping bags etc)
And also a whole raft of private medical costs which aren’t covered on his medical insurance. This includes private diagnostics for ADHD, private prescriptions for ADHD meds, additional therapy for anxiety, and for all of these he says that he doesn’t disagree that the kids need them - but that he won’t pay for them, because he thinks we should have waited the expected 3 years or so, for the NHS to do its thing. He says it’s my choice not to wait but he won’t be paying his half. This runs into thousands. (Any sen parent will be nodding at the enormous costs involved.)
School trips - he refuses to reply when I ask for half the cost. The twins have a residential this year, at £250 each plus a separate trip of £55 each. The eldest is doing a lot of scouting activities which all have costs attached. I am picking up the cost of all of this.
My eldest had an ingrown toenail and it went green so I took him to the local chiropodist who sorted it out on the spot. £50. Ex said I should have waited for an NHS referral or took him to a&e.
He won’t pay for school shoes or trainers, or school coats because he said they can wear them out of school and so they are not uniform.
What do I do? I divorced him for financial abuse, and coercive control, you will be astonished to hear.
The consent order will be a year old in august which is when I can go to CSA, but even that doesn’t really fix anything as he pays his maintenance on the dot.