See My previous post also.
First, it is important the children and you are safe, and protected. Help is here:
www.gov.uk/guidance/domestic-abuse-how-to-get-help
What you describe is domestic abuse, and you are in danger. Your children are also at risk. Help is here:
www.solacewomensaid.org
The organisations in the links above can help you make a plan and get to a safe place.
Second,
Divorce and Financial Settlement
You are early on in the process and you have time to process the information you have been given here, and by the solicitor you consulted, before making any big financial decisions and agreements regarding financial settlement upon divorce.
Long post and it will be a lot to take in - but you can come back and re-read throughout the divorce and financial settlement process.
But first, please seek help so that you and the children are safe from harm.
My previous post provides links to places you can get free legal advice and information that will help in divorce and financial settlement - in addition to your solicitor.
So, your questions about financial orders and Form E...
My understanding is there are two aspects - the divorce and the financial settlement.
Financial Settlement
The financial settlement, if agreed between the two parties, essentially becomes a consent order - A Judge sees this and checks it is fair and then makes an order which is legally binding. This sets out what each party gets (putting it simply).
If a financial settlement cannot be agreed - or help is needed - a mediator can be used. In domestic abuse situations mediation is not appropriate so you would probably skip this bit of the process. A mediator / solicitor would advise on this and how to communicate this to the court if necessary. If a financial settlement cannot be agreed there s a court process.
There can be a Financial Dispute Resolution Hearing and this can end in agreement and a consent order. There can be a Directions Hearing where the Judge looks at the essentials of the case and gives an indication to the parties what a likely outcome would be if the case went to a full hearing and this can end in a consent order. There can be a final hearing where the Judge decides what the final order will be and issues a final order which is legally binding and sets out what the split is.
Form E
So it's really important you know what all the assets of the marriage are and what each of them are worth.
This is where Form E comes in. If the parties don't know what all the assets are, and they don't know what each of them are worth, they can't make an informed decision or agreement about what the split should be.
To get what is called full and frank disclosure of the assets of the marriage, each party is required to fill in a Form E.
Form E shows you what full and frank disclosure looks like.
You say in your post your Husband has separate finances / accounts and works in finance. It may be he has pension(s), bonds, stocks and shares, and savings you do not yet know about. It is a requirement of Form E that these are disclosed, if he has them.
The Form E is a long document where each party provides information on all of the assets of the marriage and what their value is. Each party attaches documents to their Form E to prove / evidence what each of the assets are worth.
So, each of you fill a Form E in and then you swap it. Once you see the Form E from the other party, you get to ask them questions (in writing) - (Questionnaires). If you are not satisfied with the answers they provide, you can ask another set of follow up questions (in witing) to deal with the deficiencies (Deficiencies).
By the end of Form E, Questionnaire and Deficiencies, parties should have all the financial information necessary and required. If not, and the other party is reluctant to disclose assets and / or their value, you can send a solicitor's letter requesting them or ask for a court order to compel them to do so.
Assets like the former matrimonial home will need a valuation from an expert (estate agent), and pensions - which are sometimes worth as much or more than the family home - are valued by a CETV (Cash Equivalent Transfer Value). Each party attaches the CETV for each pension they hold to the Form E. Pension providers send these to the pension holder on request.
Sometimes pension providers take a while to provide CETVs to the party. So if a party ticks "to follow" about CETVs on the Form E, and does not provide a CETV, it is important to follow this up until the evidence is provided. The same can be applied to other assets - it's important to get all the assets "on the table" before negotiating and agreeing what the split should be.
Another poster on a different thread noted that any reluctance from a party to disclose an asset or provide a valuation of it, may be a sign that this is where the money is.
Agreements like "you have the house, I'll keep my pensions" need scrutiny. What is the house worth? What is the equity in the house worth? What are the pensions worth? What is the capital worth of those pensions? What would the income be from those pensions?
Pensions are sometimes overlooked and they can be very valuable. (see my previous post)
A CETV is a starting point for valuations of pension. It may be useful to get a pensions on divorce expert report (PODE report) - and factor this into the budget / costs. Joint instructions can be given to the expert and costs can be shared. (See my previous post about pensions).
In deciding a split of assets of the marriage, 50 /50 is the starting point but it is not necessarily the end point - the split can be 60 / 40 for example.
Section 25 lists what is taken into account when the court considers the split of assets (see my previous post).
This is not my profession so legal advice is needed.
Please see my previous post on this. It gives links to helpful sites and information to help.
Mumsnet suggest www.advicenow.org.uk/divorce-and-separation
Finally. priorities the safety of the children and you and seek help.
www.gov.uk/guidance/domestic-abuse-how-to-get-help
Hope this has been useful to you :) Take care