Can husband force house sale if he pays the mortgage?

[stbex]

Abusive, violent husband with ongoing MH issues (depression). Awaiting assessment for ASD. Police involvement on 3 occasions where he was threatening or actively hit out (always me, never the children but they witnessed this).

Never had joint finances. He categorically refused to do this. We've jointly owned a flat where I put down the deposit and paid for legal fees (all evidenced via bank transfers, etc.). We moved into a house just recently (6 weeks ago) and again, I contributed a large amount to the deposit. Jointly owned- 50/50. He recently had a rant and hit me and I called the police. I didn't press charges because he pays all the mortgage (has always insisted he'd be in charge of the mortgage) and bills (earns almost double my salary) and I cover nursery fees, etc.

Our marriage is over (has been for a long time but has taken me time to come to terms with it) and husband was released from custody and returned home. However, threats have no started with him saying he'll make it his business to make me homeless by forcing the sale and taking my share of the house because he's always paid the mortgage (money goes out of his account). This would leave me in a ridiculous situation- I can't afford the mortgage repayments on my own and the childrens fees and household bills. I can do one or the other. He is going to make this as hard on me as possible. He claims the law will side with him as he can't afford to pay the mortgage here and find a place to rent on his own.

What are my legal options? I'm scared and have buried my head in the sand for too long but it's now time to rip the plaster off and take stock of my life/situation. DC are 2 and 4. Older one has additional needs and goes to a specialist private nursery and likely will continue there through school.

Yes I'd double check this and seek benefit and legal advice .

UC can pay up to 85% of eligible childcare costs to a working parent. With no housing element(rent) you'd be entitled to higher work allowance and if your eldest child has additional needs are they receiving DLA? If so you may be eligible for an additional child disability element.

If you receive UC you are eligible for legal aid. Divorce is a legal aid matter if it involves domestic abuse.

This. I'm sorry but this isn't going to go the way you want. He's willing to make you and your children homeless? He's heartless. Just look to divorce him, sell house and go from there. Yes it's going to be hard. Maybe in the worst case you are going to end up very badly off but the key here is you will survive! You don't need to be bullied by him any more. You get half the house and half of savings and pension. Get a lawyer. It will be worth it.

I think you are going to have to relinquish the nursery and go with state provision for your special needs child. I know that you want to make this work for him but it's not you that's doing it. Its your husband.

I'd try appealing to his doing the right thing by his dc. Does he not want a relationship with them? Is he saying he's going to lookafter them or is he making them homeless too?

Housing wise something to consider is shared ownership
if you have enough you can buy a share outright or get a small mortgage on a percentage and if you don’t work or can’t work in the future UC will pay the rent element of it and very often the service charges

People often don’t like SO but for someone in your position it would give you a lot of security for the future

As long as you have an offer on your house you can apply for SO so i would look around and see what’s available in your area

you can use your share of the equity from your house to use as a deposit or to buy a share outright and pay rent on the rest

This.

You are going to sell the house. May as well get on with it now - it won't complete before the mortgage deadline anyway

You must get legal advice ASAP. If he fails to pay the mortgage then you risk the bank taking repossession action and it is that which could cost you your equity. You need advice on how to secure your ability to remain in the house and on interim maintenance / an order requiring him to continue paying the mortgage.

I would expect your lender to be more lenient / sympathetic towards you where you are actively taking steps to legally separate/ divorce / seek a financial arrangement than if you are doing nothing.

Good luck!

As I understand it there are 2 aspects – Divorce and Financial Settlement.
To know what a fair split of assets is and to reach a financial settlement divorcing parties need to know what the assets of the marriage are, and what each asset is worth.

Look at a Form E. A long document in which each party sets out their assets, income, and financial needs. You can see in it the assets that are taken into consideration upon divorce and financial settlement, for example property (the former marital home), pensions, stocks and shares etc. It also lists the documents needed that show the value of assets for example CETVs (cash equivalent transfer values of pensions - which can be requested from pension providers).

To find out what some assets are worth an independent expert can be used. Property can be valued by an expert - estate agents, pensions by CETV and / or a pension on divorce expert (PODE) report and so on. It is important to decide what needs a valuation by an independent expert and factor in the costs of these. Pensions can be very valuable – equivalent or more than the value of the former martial home in some cases. Divorcing parties might hold different types of pensions (not like-for-like, so difficult to compare without an expert). Circumstances might be complex for example an age difference or pensions in payment. One party may have stayed at home to look after children.

@AnnaMagnani and @silentpool made some useful comment on this in this thread

www.mumsnet.com/talk/divorce_separation/4664756-what-do-i-need-to-do-about-our-pensions?reply=121093079
When splitting the assets of a marriage…
www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1973/18/section/25 applies

The income, earning capacity, property, and other financial resource which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future. As I understand it, first consideration is given to the welfare (while a minor) of any child of the family who has not yet attained the age of eighteen. The needs of each divorcing party are taken into account and as I understand it 50 / 50 is the starting point – so unequal shares based on circumstances and needs is possible, for example 60 / 40.

These offer a free advice session about pensions on divorce and separation www.moneyhelper.org.uk/en/family-and-care/divorce-and-separation/divorce-or-dissolution-how-we-can-help-with-your-pension
Free advice line (busy so keep trying) rightsofwomen.org.uk
Guides on divorce and financial settlement
www.advicenow.org.uk/guides/how-apply-financial-order-without-help-lawyer
Pensions on divorce
www.sharingpensions.co.uk/penaudit3.htm
www.mediateuk.co.uk/the-ultimate-guide-to-pensions-on-divorce/
www.nuffieldfoundation.org/news/new-good-practice-guide-addresses-shortfall-in-understanding-of-how-to-treat-pensions-on-divorce
Valuation of pensions – pensions on divorce expert report
www.collinspensionactuaries.co.uk no relation – useful website
www.collinspensionactuaries.co.uk/pension-data-collection/ templates for information required
Hope this is helpful. Caveat – this is not my profession.
Legal advice should be sought.
This link gives you an indication of hourly rate for solicitors
www.gov.uk/guidance/solicitors-guideline-hourly-rates
Some organisations offer free advice from solicitors and barristers rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-advice/ On their FAQs page…”Our Legal Officers and Volunteer legal advisors are all solicitors and barristers”.
Some family solicitors offer an in initial free consultation and some a fixed fee rather than hourly.
Some barristers can be directly instructed e.g., via Clerksroom Direct

For help re Domestic Abuse
www.gov.uk/guidance/domestic-abuse-how-to-get-help

He can't sell the house without your signature, as you both own the home together. If he did want to sell up, you'd have to agree and get half the proceeds.

Re Legal Aid

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/sorting-out-money/help-with-legal-fees-when-you-separate/

"Applying for legal aid

To get legal aid, your legal adviser or family mediator will need a legal aid contract.

Find a solicitor or mediator with a legal aid contract on GOV.UK.

Your legal adviser or family mediator will check if you can get legal aid and apply for you. If you qualify, the legal aid will be paid directly to them.

You’ll need to pay some legal aid back if you keep or gain any money or property at the end of your court case. You might be asked to do this through a lump sum, or monthly instalments of £25 or over.

If you have any questions, speak to your legal adviser or family mediator. You can also get help from your nearest Citizens Advice."

Yes but if he takes me to court and gets the judge to force the sale through, then I'll have no choice. Or he could become awkward (I won't be surprised) and stop paying the mortgage. I do doubt the latter as he works in finance and has to go through checks to make sure he's solvent, etc. so he won't want a bankruptcy label next to his name.

I've managed to find a lawyer who offers a free 30 min call. Waiting for he to call me back..

Her*

Are you entitled to dla for your eldest? That would be around £400 a month depending on his needs.

You need legal advice, if you can prove domestic violence I think you can get legal aid

But in honesty I would plan to sell up so you can cut your links to him, shared ownership is one possibility

During a divorce, women often make the mistake of trying to hang on to a house that they can not afford.

You need to be realistic about your financial situation. You are entitled to a fair division of assets and to child maintenance. That may mean the house is sold and you get a split of the equity, starting with half as the default.

You shouldn’t count on him actually paying child maintenance consistently so your planned budget needs to not hinge on its existence.

Remember - all assets of the marriage - including pensions

Stocks and shares, bonds etc. See Form E - it shows you what full financial disclosure looks like.

Haven't read all TFT but we were in the situation where husband was paying the mortgage. When we split and sold up the solicitor asked for me to confirm that I agreed to the sale before it went through. However, he might stop paying the mortgage to force your hand. Apologies if anyone has pointed this out before.

Okay, so I've just spoken to the solicitor who was very Frank and almost cutthroat in her advice. I really needed to hear the confidence with which she shared certain knowledge and advised of next steps. Seems it's going to cost me to get this process started but I'm willing to invest. She said she'll be sharing some documents with me later. Something about an finance order. Is this the form E? Sorry- still processing things.

Good luck agree with others. Check benefits, I think we got some uc until we were earning over 40k. Do u get dla for your dc? He would would need to pay maintenance , Assets and debts 50/50. Whilst he may owe half mortgage wether he be expected to pay it on top of maintenance I'm not sure. Definitely ask solicitor about thst. The sensible thing to do is once you can sell the house and buy a smaller house for you and dc.

To those of you recommending services or organisations for DV, legal aid. Thank you but I've been through an exhaustive list already. I remember calling woman's Aid and body calling me back for 6 weeks. I know they're inundated with worse cases than mine and I don't begrudge them that but I need to strike while the iron's hot, ie. Me feeling strong and proactive. Ditto legal aid- I called about 15-20 law firms previously, shared my story and the ins/outs of finances, etc. only to be told they couldn't take me on or saying they'll pass my details on to the partner and then never hearing anything back. I'm going to have to throw money at this.

I wouldn't get any UC benefits or child tax credits. I've checked. The benefits calculator comes up with a wonderful figure when I input my info but once I speak to someone over the phone, they tell me I'm not entitled. If he lets me keep the house (miracle), I'll get single persons council tax discount only. As for my Dc, were waiting for an assessment to confirm a diagnosis. The signs are there in spades and his current ASD nursery has been brilliant at managing his needs so far.

You don't need a diagnosis for a DLA claim... just to be able to show you do 30hours more care for him a week than an average child his age.
If you complete the form and get rejected you can appear or just go again when he gets his diagnosis if you think that would strengthen your case- bit you do not need to wait for it.

He attends nursery full time though. He has to or I can't work. It's the early risings and late to bed when I get the brunt of his needs. Weekends are very full on as you can imagine.

The only reason why you wouldn’t get UC is if you have savings over £16k.
if you do, use them to find a place or pay towards bills for a few months until you have things sorted.
UC isn’t over the phone, you apply online