Can husband force house sale if he pays the mortgage?

[stbex]

Abusive, violent husband with ongoing MH issues (depression). Awaiting assessment for ASD. Police involvement on 3 occasions where he was threatening or actively hit out (always me, never the children but they witnessed this).

Never had joint finances. He categorically refused to do this. We've jointly owned a flat where I put down the deposit and paid for legal fees (all evidenced via bank transfers, etc.). We moved into a house just recently (6 weeks ago) and again, I contributed a large amount to the deposit. Jointly owned- 50/50. He recently had a rant and hit me and I called the police. I didn't press charges because he pays all the mortgage (has always insisted he'd be in charge of the mortgage) and bills (earns almost double my salary) and I cover nursery fees, etc.

Our marriage is over (has been for a long time but has taken me time to come to terms with it) and husband was released from custody and returned home. However, threats have no started with him saying he'll make it his business to make me homeless by forcing the sale and taking my share of the house because he's always paid the mortgage (money goes out of his account). This would leave me in a ridiculous situation- I can't afford the mortgage repayments on my own and the childrens fees and household bills. I can do one or the other. He is going to make this as hard on me as possible. He claims the law will side with him as he can't afford to pay the mortgage here and find a place to rent on his own.

What are my legal options? I'm scared and have buried my head in the sand for too long but it's now time to rip the plaster off and take stock of my life/situation. DC are 2 and 4. Older one has additional needs and goes to a specialist private nursery and likely will continue there through school.

Ps. I'm not entitled to any benefits or top-ups or whatever they are as I earn just above the threshold.

I've asked him if he would consider paying the mortgage instead of paying me child maintenance and he's refused. He wants us to go to court to, in his own words 'show them what a bitch I really am' and to make me homeless.

He's already started talk about meeting someone new, etc. and I don't doubt him anymore.

And so that I'm completely transparent, social services are now (rightly) involved again (due to police involvement and children being involved).

I've exhausted all avenues by calling the DV helplines the police provided and they all say they'll call back and either never do or say my situation is too complex and they can't help.

Please call women’s aid they should be able to support you and maybe refer for legal support too.

I have. They offer lots of signposting but when I get to the last service- legal, they tell me they can't help or that I'd need to go private and pay money for services which I can't afford atm.

Also, we can't sell the current house atm anyway because we've been into our new mortgage for less than 6 months. I've tried reasoning with him that we're heading towards a recession and for him to move out (he can afford this if he was sensible but he spends freely on his hobbies) but he won't.

sorry: for him to move out and us (me and the DC) stay put

Oh OP, what a mess. Someone with lots of good advice will be along soon, I’m sure of it. Is there anyway he can be removed from the family home due to the violence/threats etc? Can you contact the mortgage company, explain the situation and ask for a payment holiday, even if it’s just for a few months breathing space. Don’t tell him and let him carry on paying in the meantime (if he will).

If you are both on the mortgage and both on the deeds I don't see how he can force a sale.
Also if you are married then the house is jointly yours in any case, his paying the mortgage is surely irrelevant (I'm not an expert in this). You do though need to start divorce proceedings and this will inevitably involve a lawyer as I don't see how it can't when it isn't a simple case.
You could go down the no fault divorce line anyway and wait to sort the finances out until you are divorced? It took me 8 weeks and it costs £595 if memory serves. At least then he knows you're serious. My fear though is that he will become violent again.
I am not sure what best to advise in this case except leaving and going to a refuge if you can. You won't lose the house as such as it's also yours but then at least you'll be safer.

I'm so sorry you're in this position. You could try getting an occupation order, which would force him to move out, then filing for maintenance pending suit so he has to pay the mortgage while finances are sorted in court. The kids are with you so you have higher need, so the court should side with you.

NB - not a lawyer, just someone else with a twatbadger ex.

He can't take your share of the house, even if he had paid all the deposit and mortgage, 50/50 would be a starting point for dividing marital assets assuming it's not a short marriage. But as you're primary carer for small children you may get more. You'd also get half of any pension/investments (but also any debt unfortunately). Is there enough equity to use half (say) for a deposit on a new place big enough for you and the DC? I'd pay for a short chat with a solicitor just to see where you stand (I believe the free half hours no longer exist!).

The mortgage lender has a duty of care, times have changed and they will be as helpful to you as they can be. I know it’s very scary but don’t rise to this violent bullies threats. Social services are involved and imo that’s a good thing as you can really lay it out to them how frightened you are of this man. He needs to be kept away from you and then DC. The end of a relationship is when men can be the most violent and unpredictable.

Do you have home insurance? Sometimes included in this is free legal advice cover. Worth checking if you have this as they will be able to give you advice. Failing that you will need to hire a solicitor. I know it won't be cheap but it will be worth it. Good luck.

Oh and start logging down every conversation you have with him, times, dates, what’s said, threats etc (don’t know whether you can legally discreetly record on your phone). This man sounds like an absolute cunt and you need to build up your case to be well rid of him.

With regard to money (and this is hoping you could get him out of the house), I believe you can get a lodger and earn £7.2k a year without it being taxable or affecting anything else. Would this help?

Firstly you are entitled to legal aid as a victim of DV, www.gov.uk/legal-aid/domestic-abuse-or-violence
so please seek legal advice and find one that allows legal aid.

Courts would allow you to live there until the children turn 18 however you would need to be able to pay the mortgage and bills, otherwise the house would be sold and the equity split. This of course isn’t instant and would happen quickly or immediately.

How much equity is in it? Would it make more sense to sell up and get something you can afford?
If you look up a mesher order as well this will give you some clarity etc

Shelter could possibly help you too

I've considered going into a refuge but my eldest (preschooler) has special needs and him seeing dad get violent and then changing his routine/home will really distress him. I'm scared of that tbh. Also, I don't know if I qualify for a refuge since I'd need to continue to work (to pay my child's nursery fees) and also because my stbex husband would know where I work and that I'd be dropping DC off and picking them up at certain times.

He can force a sale by not paying any more. The op wants this piece of shit to keep paying rhe mortgage but live elsewhere. He is saying no.which in this he is right, he just needs to pay child maintenance based on the split of custody

Do not leave that house OP. Stay where you are but call social services today and the police and tell them you are frightened in your own home. There is a real possibility this man feels backed into a corner with nothing to lose. This is when these bastards become their most dangerous. Would putting up an income and expenditure if you were to pay everything alone help? Sometimes looking at things with fresh eyes can be of use. Also, he’ll be forced to pay maintenance so you can include that.I can link the calculator if you need it.

I earn £2700 net. Mortgage is £2200 a month. Nursery fees are £1600 a month. Even if I took on the mortgage as a whole, I wouldn't be able to afford the Children’s fees (which means if they're at home, Id have to give up work) and household bills, etc.

Ok but then you’ve also got maintenance on top of that. What’s his gross salary roughly do you know? And what’s yours? You’d be able to get CHB. that’s another £140 odd per month for two I think.

If I took on the mortgage payments then that would mean that he would still have it hanging over me that he jointly owns the house so he could force a sale at any point.

Selling the house is not an option for practical reasons- I don't have any family (parents dead, siblings estranged or abroad), children are settled where they are (it's taken a miracle for me to get the eldest into the specialist nursery) and work is close by.

He earns £85K gross but gets a large bonus on top of that.

Ok so you’d need to buy him out then. Is this an option? I’m not entirely sure how it works but I know a friend of mine has something on her house where she stays there until her youngest child is 18 and her ex can’t force a sale. Again, I’m sure someone more knowledgeable will be able to explain the finer detail.

Ok so you’d be looking at around d£845 a month from him, and that’s if he has them stay with him 1-2 nights a week, which doesn’t sound likely. So it could be over £1k a month. I didn’t include and bonus in that, just the £85k. That was done on the government website for child maintenance.

Find a solicitor, start divorce proceedings and let the court decide what happens to the house. In the meantime, if your husband is violent or threatens violence, consider applying for a non molestation order and/or an occupation order.