Unmarried separation and dispute on equity

[fabulous01]

Complicated case.
together 25 years
twin girls age 8

relationship broke down at the point he was arrested for images and children

charged and then sentenced to prison child abuse

sale of family home, I have to give up job and earning, already had to take a demotion for childcare

he is being funded by parents on promise of equity

equity £170 k

he is arguing through costly solicitors to 50/50

he will never have to do child care due to nature of offences

I need a home, for children and stability, no job. Children need to settle into new country

application required on childrens act schedule 1

any advice? I appreciate I need a good solicitor but it is costly …..

I’m not a solicitor but the question I would ask is if you are able to request a one off child maintenance payment against his half of the equity, he will not be able to pay monthly as obviously won’t have an income but is going to have money from the equity in the house.

Why has the law not been change on this issue. Time after time not married ling term partnerships breakdown and one person in the relationship gets financially penalised.
I am just gratefully your legally going to get 50%.

Because there is no need for the law to change! If you wish to be joined legally and financially, get married. If you don't, don't! It is a personal choice, and it's not the law's fault that so many people (women) act counter to their own best interests.

OP -so sorry you are going through this

You need to seperate the moral and legal..

They are not the same..

The comment of grief is interesting,

i was in a happy relationship. But interesting neighbours have said I was always a single parent, but I haven’t had the chance to grieve how someone can be here one day but not the next.

and to explain that to children who are not allowed access. Prisons are not appropriate and when we move countries he will not be able to see them. In essence they lost their father

it isn’t about me, it is the children

but news to dash as I have work and cjuldeen

but your comments have helpful. I have a plan ;)

I agree there is no need to change the law

IF I had my own home and moved in a partner for a year or two Why would I want him to have access to MY house if we’re unmarried

IF I buy a house with my friend why would I want them to be entitled to more equity than me when we sell?

this law actually protects people and if you want more consideration then marriage is there

What's your plan OP? You don't have any legal recourse so please be very wary of any lawyer telling you that you can get more than 50/50, it is likely to be a very drawn out, expensive process and fees will swallow any profit.

As others have said above, fighting these kinds of cases is often counter productive and more often than not you’ll end up with less than the 50% because you will have paid it all out in legal fees.

Also, I hate to bring this up, but is he likely to fight to see the children? As distasteful as it is, prisoners are often granted permission to see their children in prison, and if this is granted he may well seek a prohibited steps order to prevent you from removing them from the country. I would get legal advice to check the situation there.

This sounds a terrible situation and you must be so stressed.

Please listen to your lawyer's advice for the financials but take care of yourself emotionally, separate to that. Do you have good friends to talk to? Have you spoken with your GP so they know the strain you are under?

The OP is obviously in crisis and trying to hold things together for the sake of her children. Not just the separation but trying to come to terms with the crimes of her former partner and the behaviour of his family. Her thoughts and feelings must be all over the place so try and show compassion.

So sorry this has happened to you OP and I understand that you gave a lot to cope and come to terms with. Listen and communicate with those here who have been through similar in terms of separation. Hope you have lots of support and that you and your girls get through this.

Can still be sold but if you can demonstrate you need some of his share to get something affordable for you you may be able to use it but he would acquire a deferred interest in that property.

@Bollindger

Because there's already a simple solution - get married.

I've lived overseas where after 2 years living together property bdcsines the same as if you were married, it's a nightmare for people wanting to be in a relationship without losing the capital in their home/their Children’s inheritance etc. no simple solution.

@fabulous01 I'm sorry you were with such a vile piece of slime & that he's your children's father.

I don't know if legally it's worth trying to fight for more than 50/50 because you chose not to get married, you don't have the asset protection that you'd have had if you were.

one thing I do know though is you need to off load all your (understandable) anger & bitterness on here because it is NOT going to help you move forward.

DONT hope the shitty rags pick this up, they'll only make your & the kids lives even worse.

what deposits did you each have to buy the house, how have your finances been split until now?

hopefully s good, willing, solicitor on here (there are a few around) can give you a bit of advice.

but you need to engage with them with more respect for the fact that they're telling you your legal position, they didn't make the law. (& families/nice/awful doesn't come into it).

Honestly the house is the least of your worries.

If he gets a solicitor to ask for supervised contact he will likely get it and you'll have to deal with all that will come with that.

Yes, convicted child sex offenders do get (supervised) contact with their DCs!

Now that's something to campaign about!!

Thanks for the supportive messages. I spent the night consoling a sobbing child who doesn’t want to leave her friend…. How to explain, daddy”a offence means he can never live with us, mommy can’t afford the house, mummy is leaving her job, I am sorry I can’t say what colour your room will be…..

whilst emptying thw family home

i will so what I always have. Put the children first. When I heard tha things hw wanted to do to a child the same age, when I heard again at sentencing how he provides “no comment” answers to whether he touches his children, when I record things the children say to me or have disclosed to others….

I am sorry I am emotional. I want the children to have a parent at drop off, I want them to have one parent they are proud off…

the law has protected my children, and some of yours…. He has pictures and images….

so I will continue to hold my head high, I will be there for my children.

Thanks about law. I am being well looked after. But i am a campaigner. If I believed the doctors I would never have had children…. I am sensible when it comes to legal terms

my dad is brilliant, he says the only people who win are the lawyers, I think I am just disappointed and sad he hasn’t made any reference to his children…..

not in 18 months…. But then, maybe as one girl said (who read about my case in the media)? I am one lucky girl. My children are safe, as are many of Yours.

and that I hold dear :)

anyway to work and earn the dosh to pay the bills lol

Are SS supporting you at all?

SS walked away as I did what I was told, which was, protect your children, absolutely no contact unless supervised…. When you don’t know the charges, when you have no Idea on what it involves…. You follow the rules… or you can loose your children …. And I was told that clearly

In this scenario, given they have been involved and fully aware, I think you should go back and ask for additional support

But your number one focus needs to be securing a solicitor. Local recommendation is best.

and avoid mumsnet legal matter forum

“The bottom line is, you weren't married, so you have zero recourse. You're making this into an emotional issue but it is unfortunately a very straightforward position in the eyes of the law. Outside of marriage, equity is split 50/50 as per the law with no consideration to any of the details.”

^This. No one cares about the emotional impact in the eyes of the law.

Exactly
This is the Legal Board so people come here for advice on Legal issues.
What this man has done is beyond disgusting and his family don't sound much better but this isn't the place for emotional support OP. You can get that from other places in MN.
Being a vile scumbag doesnt take away this mans legal rights

Haha. Those words have been used a lot lol (obviously not on ear shot of children).

but the best thing is, and my revenge is the fact they are thriving. Really happy children, doing leaps at school, mums comment (obviously the media hit the school run), but the children are doing amazing.

and it is for that reason I can cope. They will adjust and will have proper support from a family who will envelope them in love…. And I am one lucky girl for that reason alone :)

so pleased. Girls have met their new school pals today.

I may have agreed to a pet lol. And they saw their uniform. Luckily they are so adaptable and don’t want to go back to their old world. They love being with cousins and a proper family

50/50 is £85k each. If you both decide to contest the matter in court you could end up with £20k in legal fees each. Just ask yourself whether you are willing to spend 20-25% of your equity on legal fees.

Furthermore, don’t count on the court ordering the other party to pay your costs as this isn’t guaranteed and is so,e times just a percentage.