Unmarried separation and dispute on equity

[fabulous01]

Complicated case.
together 25 years
twin girls age 8

relationship broke down at the point he was arrested for images and children

charged and then sentenced to prison child abuse

sale of family home, I have to give up job and earning, already had to take a demotion for childcare

he is being funded by parents on promise of equity

equity £170 k

he is arguing through costly solicitors to 50/50

he will never have to do child care due to nature of offences

I need a home, for children and stability, no job. Children need to settle into new country

application required on childrens act schedule 1

any advice? I appreciate I need a good solicitor but it is costly …..

can you stay in the house till the girls are older?

No,… I can’t afford mortgage and bills and childcare costs. No family close by either

I took a reduction in hours to be there for girls

now I have had to take a demotion to get fugher changes to ensure they are ok mentally

Doesn't sound like a lot you can do. It is still half his house, regardless of subsequent crimes committed.

True but he can’t undertake any childcare, absolutely nothing,

he also has a roof over his head

i have given up my career,…. We are ultimately the victims and it is ironic he is quoting the law when ,… he has been imprisoned for breaking the law. It so slightly ironic lol

You need legal advice.

True, I wish he had taken legal advice before trying to have sexual activity with a child

but ultimately, if you have girls, your children are safe with him locked up, and that is what I hold firm as I am explaining to the children why they are moving schools, and why they won’t have a home ….

what a mess

I'm currently going through unmarried house dispute (Tolata) and if I'd known 3 years ago how long it would take and how much it would cost me in legal fees I'd have settled for 50/50 at the start. Am also sole carer and financial provider for two children

Although your situation is much more complex. When I separated from my children father I sought legal advice on our situation. And as non married partners the equity was 50/50. I do appreciate you have all the responsibility for the children. As do I as ex is mostly absent. I would seek an hours legal advice and take it from there. Taking into consideration if he fights for 50/50 the costs will soon start to add up

The equity will be 50/50. That's not related to how much he can or cannot see them

I don't know the ins and outs but I have been told myself that these kinds of cases are very technical and realistically I don't think you could represent yourself with any kind of hope of success.

Weigh up any potential gains against the incredibly high cost of legal representation. I would be expecting the legal fees to come to 10s of thousands and you might even end up having to pay his costs as well if you lose.

I know for a fact, having been through them, that legal cases are highly, highly, stressful. Consider whether it is in your girls best interests to have a distracted and stressed out mother for possibly years.

I'm so sorry - what an incredibly shit situation for you all to be in.

Isn’t this sad. If we were fighting for maternity pay we would be on front page. But fighting for children we are the victims and fighting an establishment which favours men.

you never know, this story may be picked up bu the papers… or a leading barrister who wants to make a change to womens rights. watch this space …..

You own the house 50/50. You are not married. There are very limited circumstances the court take into account to vary from that.

You could make an application for a schedule 1 children act application in order to retain house until children are 18. But it will cost you maybe £35k in legal fees and there are no guarantees

Are some of these posts his solicitor lol

i have to laugh as they are getting their money from the children.

but… my family have limited finances, but we have a lot of people around tables at Xmas. His family have lots of financial means, but they have no one around the table.

foe my family, ethics, standards is key. As is love. It speaks volumes.

at least the system protected all of our children, and I have got involved in many groups so I know my children will be safe

Is he currently in prison op?

I'm not sure the law in terms of splitting equity cares what he has done. It's not about moral judgements or punishments, as much as you may wish it to be.

Those saying 50:50 are not "his solicitor", nor standing up for him, just realistic.

It is about family. My family are around the table. His family have been awful to me and for other reasons havs turned back on children. But their table is empty

and yes he is in prison. That is why this is hilarious. Reliance in law …..

it has squat all to do with anything and if OP engages like this with her solicitor, she’s going to rack up enormous fees

Family situation you outline re your family “around the table” 🫤 is…

Completely and utterly irrelevant to the issue at hand in the eyes of the law

The bottom line is, you weren't married, so you have zero recourse. You're making this into an emotional issue but it is unfortunately a very straightforward position in the eyes of the law. Outside of marriage, equity is split 50/50 as per the law with no consideration to any of the details. From a legal perspective, if you wanted the details such as childcare, housing costs, standard of living etc to be taken into account, then you should have got married.

I'm so sorry for what you've been through, I hope you and your children find some peace and happiness.

Seems to me OP is expressing totally justified grief, outrage and frustration. It's ok to do that here.

At least one of the people saying 50/50 is someone who's been through the process of fighting and wishes she hadn't.

You asked for advice and people assumed that the advice you were asking for was what you should do to protect your own financial interests. Sadly the answer in the short term, with limited equity and opponents with deep pockets is probably to give in.

Protesting for a change in the law is a separate question. I'm so sorry you find yourself in this situation OP, it's dreadful.

Thank goodness i wasn’t married as I would have been named in the multiple publicity about the case. It hit more comments as it was reported on than cases where women were raped. The children had to deal with that onslaught

and don’t worry, I love the concern about how I engage with solicitors.

I’m sorry your in this situation

what he has done and how much he would see your dc going forward is completely separate to who owns the house

you don’t actually say if your name is on the house but seeing as offering 50/50 I will assume it is

You are unmarried. You are basically two people who own a house 50/50 and following its sale you’ll get your 50%