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Original poster

Husband demanding to counter-file(??) for divorce

30 replies

Notmyyearthisyear · 20/12/2021 21:50

I don’t even think this is a thing!!!
I filed on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour. Listed 5 very diplomatically worded reasons.
He now says that he wants a copy of the marriage certificate to make his own application based on true reasons 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️
It doesn’t work like this, does it?

OP posts:
prh47bridge · 20/12/2021 22:25

It can do but it is pointless and will add costs for no good reason. If he insists, I suggest you should seriously consider withdrawing your petition and allowing him to get the divorce.

NandorTheRelentless · 20/12/2021 22:28

He now says that he wants a copy of the marriage certificate to make his own application based on true reasons 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

Just on this, maybe he can go and get one??

Theunamedcat · 20/12/2021 22:30

Tell him to either challenge the petition or order his own copy of the marriage certificate

Ultimately he is wasting his money time and effort

Theunamedcat · 20/12/2021 22:31

Does he not want the divorce?

12548ehe9fnfobms · 20/12/2021 22:43

He can do this, just let him crack on. He can get his own copy of the marriage cert online like a big boy by learning how to use Google FFS

Original poster
Notmyyearthisyear · 21/12/2021 07:25

I can’t let him be in charge of the process. He is not reasonable and would drag it out just to control me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Notmyyearthisyear · 21/12/2021 07:27

He says he now realised he wants it too, but he doesn’t really. But I filed on the grounds of u reasonable behaviour for a reason. In fact, I could have probably supplied 10 other applicants with sufficient examples 🤦🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
Cuddlywaterfall · 21/12/2021 07:27

Say nothing. Don't help him. Let him get his own legal advice. If he wants a copy of the marriage cert he can bloody well get it himself.

NothingIsWrong · 21/12/2021 07:31

Marriage certificates are available from the registry office - he can get one himself

Theunamedcat · 21/12/2021 08:48

My ex refused to sign divorce papers for years but I had nothing to lose or gain from the divorce we had no property etc so I waited for five years and put the paperwork in detailing it all the court stamped it and we are divorced

But I think I could have got it done sooner you just need to prove service and the courts will look at it

Icecreaminwinter · 21/12/2021 08:51

Yes you can divorce each other but it’s unusual.

12548ehe9fnfobms · 21/12/2021 09:04

If he starts the process & applies for the decree nisi, after a set period of time (I don't remember exactly how long) you can then apply for the decree absolute yourself, so there is an advantage to letting him think he's controlling everything. It's a matter of weeks after the nisi is granted, you don't have to wait to long.
The main thing to realise is that the grounds for divorce do not matter & have no bearing whatsoever on a financial settlement, don't get caught up on that. Let him say whatever he wants, it's being legally divorced that matters, then you can leave him behind.

DelphiniumBlue · 21/12/2021 09:15

If he wants to cross petition then he can. Surely he doesn't expect you to help him though? He can obtain his own copy of the marriage certificate. I expect you've already given your copy to your solicitor or sent it to the court with your application.
I suspect this is a delaying tactic.

RoastedParsnips · 21/12/2021 09:16

Then he can go get his own copy! Your not his wife anymore stop doing stuff for him.

TizerorFizz · 21/12/2021 09:19

I would try and agree that one of you applies for divorce. There’s no control over this stage. You just want it as quickly as possible. The financial settlement is where push comes to shove. You need advice on the joint finances. This is where you need to understand what you need from the divorce.

alwayswrighty · 21/12/2021 09:38

My ex did this. His solicitor told him to stop being an idiot and let me get on with it. He did. He was awkward all the way, and has remained awkward about our DD but I have very little to do with him now.

SportsMother · 21/12/2021 10:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Notmyyearthisyear · 21/12/2021 18:30

Thanks everyone. The marriage was outside of the UK and it’s be difficult for him to get a copy. I’ll let him have a scan.
He can do what he pleases with it, it’s all about control on his part. I get the need to be amicable but if I am he will just move the goalpost. He doesn’t want the divorce even though he says he does and he is not at all prepared to take any responsibility.
I’m just scared as there are young kids in the middle and he used them in the past, and won’t hesitate to do it again.

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 22/12/2021 09:21

Your supposed to love your kids more than you hate each other

Theunamedcat · 22/12/2021 09:22

Sorry pressed too soon

Remind him of that

TizerorFizz · 22/12/2021 09:53

Men like him really do prefer themselves to their children. My much older DDs have seen that in their Dad. If he has to prioritise others over himself he grumbles and has to be reminded that yes a dad. Even now! You hope they will change but they don’t., I think some parents bring up boys to be self centred and to only think about themselves. They don’t help do anything and were never asked to. They have been treated as no 1 and it stays that way after DC arrive. Mine was jealous of the attention I gave to the children. That’s inevitable if the workload isn’t shared. If anything isn’t what they would wish then it’s inevitably your fault because you have inevitably made all the decisions and some all the work. My DH thought he should be congratulated for seeing DC in the school Christmas play! Anyway: rant over. Just another Christmas here where he’s not bought a single present or asked anyone what they would like. 401 years of marriage and he’s not changed!

sashh · 22/12/2021 10:13

Let him do what he wants, it will make him feel important and cost him money.

Mine kept throwing letters / papers away.

Until I implicated the OW who was furious, but my evidence of adultery was, "she's pregnant and it's his"

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 22/12/2021 10:17

My first husband did this and wasted £100k of his own money on fighting it out. I told the judge I did not care who did what or who "wins" because it doesn't matter. Judge granted me my divorce and he spent 100k on appeals. Rest of his shenanigans meant I was granted custody of DS 100% and ex was no longer allowed to contact us.
They take a VERY dim view of this kind of carry on.

NorthSouthcatlady · 22/12/2021 10:19

This sounds like my ex husband, he did marry the OW quite quickly after we divorced but didn’t marry abroad. He suggested we get the same solicitor for the divorce “as it will be easier”. Also wanted to buy me out of the house at the rate he thought (not taking into account what l had contributed or the market value of the property) and take into account expenses of selling it in 10 years time Hmm. He was keen for me to do the donkey work with everything, l declined. It’s hard to believe he has a professional job, under graduate degree and a post graduate degeee

DisforDarkChocolate · 22/12/2021 10:21

Why on earth are you sending him a scan
You are separated, he can figure it for himself. NO More. WIFE WORK!!