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Legal matters

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Original poster

My partner wants me out.

39 replies

DaniiSmith · 28/09/2021 21:04

I really need some advice. I have been with my partner for 6 years, we have a one & two year old. Things were ok until he recently told me he no longer loves me and wants to separate.
He's giving me a couple of weeks to leave and I just don't know what to do.
He's the main provider, I gave up my job when we had our children to look after them full time, I have no savings put aside for this scenario... I genuinely don't know what to do.
I don't know how to function without him.
I adore my children and just want this to be as easy on them as possible. I need to get my shit together and stay strong for them... I just don't know where to start .

OP posts:
AnotherDelphinium · 28/09/2021 21:29

So to clarify, you’re not married?

Is the house rented or owned? And whose names are on the lease/deeds?

Is he wanting you to leave with the children? Or just you to go?

Sending Flowers you’ll get through this.

Blueskythinking123 · 28/09/2021 21:33

Where does he expect you to go in two weeks?

MadMadMadamMim · 28/09/2021 21:33

Where does he expect you to go? I would ask him that calmly. He may very well want you out - but clearly without money, without a job and without savings it is utterly ridiculous for him to announce that he'll give you a couple of weeks to leave.

You have a one year old and a two year old that you care for. You are not going to make yourself homeless.

Put it back on him and ask him how and where he thinks you'll go.

Flidina · 28/09/2021 21:41

You need legal advice, most places offer first half hour free, so make an appointment to see someone. Start getting all your paperwork in order bank statements, mortgage stuff, wage slips etc. Find out what benefits you'd be entitled to. Do not leave the property as you may be entitled to stay there because of the children, and he would need to leave.

Viviennemary · 28/09/2021 21:47

Is your house rented or owned. If owned whose name is it in. If rented who is the leaseholder. Sit tight for now.

Original poster
DaniiSmith · 28/09/2021 21:47

Sorry, so to clarify..The house is his, all in his name, no we aren't married and in regards to the children he said we will arrange something.
I asked him where does he expect me to go, he said to the local council who will help house me and the children..
Do I have any leg to stand on??

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 28/09/2021 21:49

Sorry didn't see your reply. You need legal advice. He can't put you out on the streets.

StargazerAli · 28/09/2021 21:53

Are you safe there? Is there anyone who you could go to if you have no choice but to leave? Emotions aside, see a solicitor ASAP. Your survival instincts will kick in to get you through this.

Thehouseofmarvels · 28/09/2021 21:55

People wait years for council houses ? Does he think you just go to a council office and get handed keys? If he puts your bags on the street and changes locks in two weeks could you move in with family? If family or friends can't take you all could the children live with him until you find a job ?

Thehouseofmarvels · 28/09/2021 21:56

Maybe a women's shelter if he chucks the three of you out with all your belongings ?

SouthSideSally · 28/09/2021 22:02

Don't leave the children with him. Tell him you need more time. And phone Shelter as soon as possible.

Akire · 28/09/2021 22:04

Two weeks is far to short if he is serious he needs be grown up about it. Even if you put a claim in for benefits tomorrow there is a 5 week waiting list before you can get a penny. Even if you had a free empty home to go too which you obviously don’t.

Is he prepared to pay decent maintenance for the kids? How much would that give you? “We will sort something out” isn’t good enough. If he’s forcing you on benefits for short time it’s going take months to find somewhere to rent and even then need deposit.

Is he honestly expecting you pack up and make yourself homeless and end up some flea bag of BnB because he wants split up?
If it takes 6months or saving and sorting for kids sake then so be it he has responsibilities. Throwing you all on mercy of welfare state what scum bag

grapewine · 28/09/2021 22:11

Yeah, because council houses etc grow on fucking trees. Massive eye roll. And he seemingly doesn't give a shit about his children. What a twat.

Call Shelter and try to get legal advice.

prh47bridge · 29/09/2021 07:33

Consult a solicitor. You may legally have the right to stay in the house. Given that there are children involved, you may be able to get an order allowing you and the children to stay in the house until they are grown up and forcing him to move out.

jay55 · 29/09/2021 07:37

Have you got family who can help?

You do need to call the council and find out their process and get things going. Also try shelter and women's aid for advice.

Check entitled to, to see what benefits you'll get and get on to cms for a maintenance claim.

Paq · 29/09/2021 07:38

@Viviennemary

Sorry didn't see your reply. You need legal advice. He can't put you out on the streets.
Legally, he can.
Paq · 29/09/2021 07:40

@prh47bridge

Consult a solicitor. You may legally have the right to stay in the house. Given that there are children involved, you may be able to get an order allowing you and the children to stay in the house until they are grown up and forcing him to move out.
This is interesting and I would never disagree with you. If they are not married and the tenancy or ownership is in his name what legal right does she have to stay?
Clutterbugsmum · 29/09/2021 07:41

Also go to CMS to start the process of getting child maintence from him.

Billybagpuss · 29/09/2021 07:46

Sending 💐 he’s a shit and you’ll get through this.

Firstly do not leave the kids with him, make sure they are included in whatever plans you make.
Do you have family you can stay with temporarily
Contact the council today and advise you will be homeless in 2 weeks time, I have no idea what they can do but worth doing for advice
Get in a claim for cms
Work out and set the ball rolling for whatever benefits you may be entitled to.
Get together any paperwork from the house that you may need, certificates, passports, bank statements etc.

Good luck, he’s an arse.

BlueberrySugar · 29/09/2021 07:50

He's a fucking arse. Who chucks their kids out onto the street.

Get yourself down to the council they might be able to offer you emergency accommodation.

Who does this to their children. He's an axial scumbag.

IndecentCakes · 29/09/2021 07:50

Another warning to not leave your children with him.

BlueberrySugar · 29/09/2021 07:50

Actual*

Lockdownbear · 29/09/2021 07:51

Contact womans aid too. And I'll add to the don't leave your kids.

I know of a woman who left without the kids and never regained custody she only had access rights.

Cherpcherp · 29/09/2021 07:56

As you’re not married, legally you have no rights to stay in his house.
Go to the council and shelter, tell them you will be homeless imminently.
Call citizens advice and get help applying for any benefits you’re entitled to.
Call cms and set up a claim.
You may end up in emergency accommodation, but you won’t be on the streets with children.

Droite · 29/09/2021 08:04

Ask him what maintenance he is going to pay, bearing in mind that it is going to have to cover providing a roof over his children's heads and feeding, clothing and care for them.

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