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Original poster

Elderly mother failing to stop after an accident

38 replies

72WayTooCool · 31/07/2021 07:33

My DM (79) has just received a notice of intended prosecution for driving without due care and attention and for failing to stop and report an accident. She has no idea when this was as she doesn't remember hitting anyone, which is worrying in itself. The accident allegedly happened on private property, in a supermarket car park and DB and I can only surmise that someone saw her bump a car, not realise and drive away and then a witness must have put a note on the damaged car. The timing of the alleged incident is outside of the time when she would be there. She works there until 6pm each day and this happened between 7pm and 10pm according to the notice. We cannot get hold of the police to check any of this as they only work 10 to 1 and the line is constantly busy.

We already think she should stop driving, but we are very worried about the repercussions of this. What is the likely outcome? There seems no way to defend this, except to go to court which of course we wouldn't want to put her through. She has mental health issues, lives alone and does rely on her car for independence. Of course, if she isn't safe to drive, which we suspect she isn't, then we will try to stop her driving, that goes without saying.

Any advice greatly appreciated.

OP posts:

Ravenclawsome · 01/08/2021 08:12

Court appearances and convictions require evidence in the form of cctv.

Not true. There needs to be corroboration of an offence - but that could easily be damage + witness, or multiple witnesses. Cctv just makes identification easier.

Sunflowergirl1 · 01/08/2021 08:16

@Ravenclawsome is exactly correct re CCTV and corroboration. It is a shame some people don't j stead say nothing when they don't know rather than made up rubbish.

budgun · 01/08/2021 08:22

My first port of call would be to have her contact the police to clarify exactly what happened. Everyone is responding as if she did hit a parked car, but that's just a guess in your part.

Passthecontrol · 01/08/2021 08:27

Regardless of the car park incident you say you know she shouldn't be driving. You have a duty to do something about this otherwise she could end up going to her grave with the death of a child on her conscience like the 91 year old lady who killed a toddler right outside my work. Far too many adult children with elderly parents sit back doing nothing knowing their relatives are dangerous on the roads.

gogohm · 01/08/2021 08:27

If she shouldn't be driving you need to stop her whatever the repercussions - a supermarket bump might not be serious but it could progress to far more serious incidents in the future if she's not competent to drive

PolypGrunterPulpit · 01/08/2021 08:39

@Passthecontrol

Absolutely this. While losing her job and independence would be very sad, it's nothing compared to the life of an innocent person.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 01/08/2021 08:46

I'm struggling to square the idea of someone who is cognitively so impaired that she can't hold meaningful conversations with someone who holds down a job in a supermarket.

If you truly believe she is not safe to drive then you have a duty to report her.

MrsBertBibby · 01/08/2021 11:13

If she can't cope with the consequences of when driving goes wrong, she shouldn't be driving.

I'm sorry, it is hard.

MrsBertBibby · 01/08/2021 11:21

Also is she getting all her entitlements? Talk to CAB to check. She's very old to still have to work. Surely she can claim pension credit?

NightEnergyNights3 · 03/08/2021 04:33

Eligible for a free bus pass ?
If working can afford a taxi ?

rwalker · 03/08/2021 05:45

I've been through similar and to the smug people who say just take the keys off them if there not fit to drive it really isn't that simple .

The process to take someones licence off them is unbelievably hard . You can report them to all the authorities . The best one is DVLA send them a form to fill in asking if they think they are fit to drive..

Took my dads car key and he bought another .

I'd just step away from this and let her deal hopefully she might realise she need to stop driving.

As for money she needs to look at pension credits.

Lcachu · 03/08/2021 10:12

My husband had a man in his 70's/80's reverse into the side of his car - extensively damaging the side of my husband's car. CCTV showed him get out of his car inspect the damage. Jump back in and drive off. Thankfully our neighbour's CCTV caught it all and he was reported to the police.

The guy denied any wrongdoing and said he didn't see any damage. The car was nearly a write-off! In the end he got a driving ban for a year and also a fine I think. But then he was also doing business during the crash and didn't have business driving insurance so maybe that also attributed to the ban.

Defender90 · 03/08/2021 10:22

Hope you manage to get to the bottom of it, my DG just gave up driving, we sold the car and set up a taxi account, we registered her debit card with them so she doesn't have to worry about cash and between the car sale, what she would normally pay for insurance and breakdown cover, financially she's better off.

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