Elderly mother failing to stop after an accident

[72WayTooCool]

My DM (79) has just received a notice of intended prosecution for driving without due care and attention and for failing to stop and report an accident. She has no idea when this was as she doesn't remember hitting anyone, which is worrying in itself. The accident allegedly happened on private property, in a supermarket car park and DB and I can only surmise that someone saw her bump a car, not realise and drive away and then a witness must have put a note on the damaged car. The timing of the alleged incident is outside of the time when she would be there. She works there until 6pm each day and this happened between 7pm and 10pm according to the notice. We cannot get hold of the police to check any of this as they only work 10 to 1 and the line is constantly busy.

We already think she should stop driving, but we are very worried about the repercussions of this. What is the likely outcome? There seems no way to defend this, except to go to court which of course we wouldn't want to put her through. She has mental health issues, lives alone and does rely on her car for independence. Of course, if she isn't safe to drive, which we suspect she isn't, then we will try to stop her driving, that goes without saying.

Any advice greatly appreciated.

I’d assume points on her license and a fine.

Says here may be disqualification loopholelaw.com/service/motoring/failing-to-stop-after-or-report-an-accident/

And maybe they would disqualify if they felt she was unsafe. But for a small car park bump I’d expect much on the lower end of the scale. What age do people have to be signed off by their gp as still fit to drive or did I dream that?

Also she may have been aware but driven off anyway and now not want to admit that. I’ve been hit twice by sweet little old ladies who both denied knowing they’d hit me and had driven off. both times blatant lies but they kept the “ surprised” facade up.

Is it worth checking with the supermarket to see if there is any cctv footage? It is a worry if she has bumped into someone without realising. It could have been a small child. You can contact the DVLA anonymously if you have concerns, and they can deal with the issue of her stopping driving.

Well, she’s unlikely to drive forever, in any case. What is her plan to manage when she stops driving ? That seems like a good question to solve, regardless of the driving offence.

It might be mistaken identity? It might be a malicious claim. Can you go in person to the police station to sort this out?
It would be worth taking her for a doctors to make sure she is okay and safe to drive.

First thing is to see the evidence and ascertain whether it actually was her or not.

If it was then she gets whatever the court deems appropriate and you need to give her all the emotional support you can.

Re her driving, if she isn't safe and won't listen then for her own sake as well as other road users you may need to report it and the DVLA will follow their procedures on it.

It's going to be difficult that's for sure but the alternative is a person in charge of what is ultimately a dangerous piece of equipment and who lacks the ability to use it safely.

She works at the supermarket?

So she’s not a dotty old lady then if she’s working age.

7pm-10pm seems a broad time scale. I wonder if someone is blaming her for something she hasn’t done.

Definitely ask for advice from the police.

She's 79 and still working! There's no hope for me! (sorry, not helpful!)

I agree that you definitely need to find out more about what she’s been accused of and by whom.
From what you’ve said it sounds possible that she’s not actually done this??
There must be some evidence? What is it?
I feel there are 2 issues here.
Is she fit to drive?
Did she do what she’s accused of?

If she only works until 6 why would she still be there between 7-10pm? It all sounds a bit vague. If I saw someone hit a car and took the registration number the first thing I'd do would be check the time.

The NIP is only a formal notice that has to be issued by law in the circumstances. It means that the police will investigate, not necessarily prosecute. If she genuinely had no idea then that is a defence as the offence will be failing to stop and/ or report the collision.

Clearly the circumstances of the collision need to support that...ie if a car was a total wreck then it is unlikely that she will didn't know she had hit another car.

My XH got a police NIP for an incident that happened in a car park, correct Reg number, but he and his vehicle were out of the country at the time. They must have said which car park and where? Is it the one she works or shops at?

My GM was still 'driving' at 85. She hit two cars in the doctors car park and didn't realise until the police came knocking at her door.
Gave up after that.
I know another older person we all though was a great driver, lifetime unblemished record until he lost concentration at the wheel, drifted into oncoming traffic and killed two people including my mum.
If you already think she should stop driving you must have a reason. The repercussions are she gets a bus or a taxi, like we all have to plan to do.

She's definitely dotty. Yes, she works, but it more a case of having to from a financial point of view than wanting to. I have another thread running in elderly parents about her ongoing mental health concerns and hoarding issues. Moreover, her cognitive decline is quite apparent now - memory issues, inability to hold a meaningful conversation etc.

DB and I know she shouldn't be driving, but when this will stop her working and ultimately take away her independence, it's a tough thing to make her do although it is definitely the right thing.

We will try and get hold of the police again and find out what evidence they do actually have. We just don't want her to be dragged through the court process and all the stress that would entail for her if she can surrender her licence, have a claim on her insurance and points and a fine instead.

If it's a bump in the car park then 99% of the time the police will just request her insurance details and pass them on to the person whose car was hit.

They have to serve the NIP, but no ones going to court or jail for bumping a car in a car park and driving off.

Worst case scenario there would be a fine to pay, possibly points, but usually dealt with by insurance companies while police deal with crime.

What time does the supermrket close? Some supermarket staff stay after their shift ends to pick up their shopping. Could she have done this, so left later than you thought?

We had a similar situation- except my parents weren't there at the time alleged. They went to court and it was dismissed. However the entire experience puta huge dent in my dads confidence

Court appearances and convictions require evidence in the form of cctv. He said/she said does not cut it. Yes it is stressful but at least then you can find out who brought the allegations/charges and if you want to take that any further against them.

Definitely ask for CCTV evidence.

If she did bump a car I’m sure this can be dealt with through insurance. Worst case scenario points/fine - not court.

Agree with others - go to police station, find out what the evidence is, go from there.

If she did do this + all the other things you've said above then she definitely should have her driving assessed. I'm guessing you are trying to get a cognitive/memory assessment for her too - really hard if she's not willing to play ball.

But seriously, you can report her anonymously to the DVLA.

DB and I know she shouldn't be driving, but when this will stop her working and ultimately take away her independence, it's a tough thing to make her do although it is definitely the right thing.

You need to do this. I know it's hard, but whatever the outcome of this event, you should either use it to either convince her that she needs to stop, or contact the DVLA citing cognitive decline.

Is there any sign of a recent collision on her car’s bodywork? Dents, scratched paintwork?
I think you need more evidence before assuming she is guilty.
It’s perfectly possible that another driver scraped a car in the supermarket car park, didn’t want to admit liability, so copied down your mother’s adjacent registration number to leave in a note on the damaged car, then drove away scot free.
You need to see the cctv and any witness statements before accepting your DM did this. If it turns out that she did, and doesn’t remember, then yes, she needs to surrender her licence, but please check first before removing her transport and independence.

Thank you for all the replies.

The time frame is a bit vague, and while she is slow because of her mobility issues, she is generally out of the shop and back to the car by 6.20pm. She doesn't shop in the evenings after work.

CCTV only can covers the front of the store and not the car park, so unless the incident happened directly outside I suspect there won't be any evidence on there.

My DB will try and get hold of the police tomorrow and we'll see where that goes.

Seems like the inevitable has now occurred, especially if you were already concerned for her wellbeing/driving abilities which is a shame as it sounds as if she (like most of us!) is really reliant on the car to get about.

You could get some support from her GP? And if they advise she isnt safe to drive then maybe surrendering her license voluntarily may prevent any further action if there has been a minor accident?

Having had £800 worth of damage to my car, and been witness to a fatal accident both caused by elderly drivers who shouldn't have been driving, I would try and make an assessment with her GP/relevant people as soon as possible.

The easiest way to stop her driving is to take her keys away. If she isn’t cognitively capable of listening to your rational arguments that she isn’t fit to drive, and that she could cause an accident that might kill a child, or a parent, or a neighbour , then you should simply remove her keys and she will have to get taxi or bus to work etc.

Also in my view If she isn’t capable of sorting this current mess out with the police herself, she is probably not in a fit condition to drive. I don’t think you are doing her any favours here - she could cause serious harm and injury.