Children's Services Referral for my child - do I have a right to be informed?

[DalekScarecrow]

I'm currently going through a dispute about child contact arrangements with my ex. We divorced 3 years ago, I have always had regular EOW contact with my daughter but I have never been happy with the child arrangements, so I'm currently trying to change it so that I have more contact.

My ex has just dropped bombshell letter on me saying if I pursue this any further, she will allege domestic abuse, and says that Children's Services were involved with my child following our initial separation and this will be brought up if this goes to court.

This is the first I've heard of any allegation of domestic abuse, and I was completely unaware of Children's Services involvement. Ex has never alleged domestic abuse before, including in our divorce proceedings including mediation. We have had limited contact since our separation, all of which is by email and the recent solicitors letters. I have all of this on record.

Do I have a right to know what involvement Children's Services had with our child? We have shared parental responsibility.

Mh advice would be get a solicitor and give them a copy of the letter.

Mh = my

She’s actually written down a blackmail threat and sent it to you? I’d keep hold of that for court if I were you. Contact your local or your ex’s children’s services if they’re different and ask for clarification on if there was a referral and if so what it related to.

Solicitor is involved and is in receipt of the letter.

I'm talking to him next week. I think we will need to contact social services to request all documentation relating to my child's alleged referral.

I'm just wondering what the standard procedure is when a child is referred to children's services. Surely both parents must be informed?

When I have had to refer a child to CS then yes both parents are usually told if both had PR.the only incidence where this wouldn’t be the case is if it would put the child at any immediate risk of harm.

My understanding is, if you have PR then yes they should have made an effort to contact you and inform you of the referral and any assessments they undertook as you would have been part of the assessment given you were having contact with your child. However, if the referral didn't go anywhere (ie no assessment) then perhaps that's why they didn't.

But then usually it would come out during any subsequent investigation as the other parent would definitely be looked at if they were thought to pose an immediate threat to the child

Your wording is curious. It focuses on the allegation/accusation of dv, it doesn’t say there was none. Was there any?

No there wasn't any domestic violence.

Our marriage broke down, we were both to blame. Ex left and took my child away without my consent. I have had contact with my child EOW since then, and for holidays.

Ex has never raised any concern of domestic abuse before. It was never mentioned in our divorce proceedings - we attended mediation together with no issues, and the divorce was fine.

Now that I'm attempting to formalise the child contact arrangements, she has refused mediation and says if I pursue it further she will make an allegation of DA to the court. We've barely seen or spoken to each other for 3 years, other than child handovers.

It's the first i've heard of any allegation. And first I've heard of a referral to children's services.

@Yaty

My understanding is, if you have PR then yes they should have made an effort to contact you and inform you of the referral and any assessments they undertook as you would have been part of the assessment given you were having contact with your child. However, if the referral didn't go anywhere (ie no assessment) then perhaps that's why they didn't.

I wonder if someone made a referral (I suspect a teacher), but children's services decided there was no cause for concern. It's quite possible she lied and told them she didn't have contact with the father.

I actually think it's more likely any teacher's referral would have been due to concerns with the trauma she put our child through in lying to her and moving her away from her father, grandparents, school and friends with no notice. My child is still traumatised by it.

What was the blame that caused the marriage to break down? There are many types of domestic violence, including for example coercive control which would not be supported with incidents reported to the police etc. It may have taken several years reflection for your ex to come to this conclusion. A court would require proof anyway. Do you want to go to the courts?

100% you would have been informed if ss got involved with your child.

Keep the letter, she's talking shite.

She cited unreasonable behaviour in the divorce - i didn't contest this. We were both unreasonable in our behaviour.

I don't want to go to court - I've tried resolving this through amicable discussion - she ignored it. My solicitor wrote her a letter, which she ignored, and then I attempted mediation, which she refused.

Then this bombshell telling me if i pursue this further she will allege domestic abuse at court. There is no proof of domestic abuse - we argued a lot during our marriage - that is it. Since our separation, there have been no issues. There has never been an issue with my child. She has never expressed any concerns about me seeing my child.

The only thing that guarantees us ending up in court is her refusal to negotiate.

She has also accused me of making threats, putting her under emotional pressure and being unreliable with sporadic child maintenance payments. None of which is true.

All of my correspondence with her is documented. My solicitor wrote to her once, then had to chase up a response because she ingored it. This is obviously all documented. That is the sum total of the 'threats' and 'emotional pressure' that she claims i have made.

I pay CM by standing order, every month. Never failed. This is also documented by bank statements.

Her letter is full of lies. I'm flabbergasted her solicitor allowed her to make these unfounded allegations and threats.

@ZeroFuchsGiven

100% you would have been informed if ss got involved with your child.

Keep the letter, she's talking shite.

Do I have a right to request a copy of any documents children's services hold? It is awful to be told they conducted an assessment without my knowledge.

I want to know whether it is true or not.

If you have parental responsibility then yes you can request the information from children's services

The thing is social workers and family courts are well used to this sort of nonsense. She us trying to frighten you into backing off but she has really shot herself in the foot because you have evidence of her threats and she has no evidence of DV or any prior mention of it. And yes any referrals to SS would have involved you as you have parental rights.

Press on with your court proceedings regarding contact because you want it all legally mandated and watertight so she cant try these kind of tactics in the future.
I am a foster carer so I have a bit of experience with family court proceedings and they dont look favourably on this kind of thing at all.
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Thank you for the reassurance.

Should I wait for meeting with solicitors to discuss further, or should I press ahead and contact children's services to get the ball rolling to get that information?

I really do think she has shot herself in the foot because she's being unreasonable, making false allegations and threats, and frustrating the process rather than trying to negotiate amicably.

Im about to go on holiday with my child for 2 weeks, so I don't want to have to deal with it while I'm away. She has probably timed this deliberately to ruin my holiday with my child.

Talk to your solicitor then go on holiday and forget about it. As others have said, she has shot herself in the foot.

Look up on Google your local children's service and find a SAR form (subject access request). It will tell you any involvement they have had. Might take a while though.

Yes, you can ask for documents and you’ll be given the reason why not if it is specifically refused in your case. I’d leave everything to be between solicitors now but make it clear her blackmailing and slandering you, won’t stop the action you are taking in court and you will make the judge aware.

Considering everything else she’s seemingly lied about I’d be expecting her to have lied about prior ss involvement
Agree with pp instruct your solicitor and enjoy your holiday

SARs have to be answered in 30 working days. But you don’t need this as you have PR and can telephone and ask about any referrals made. If this goes to court, and I agree with a previous poster that you should follow that route, CAFCASS will look into it too.
Family courts take a very dim view of parental alienation, so she has shot herself in the foot. Having been subjected to this type of behaviour from the mother of my DH’s son, don’t be surprised at any lies or threats now and don’t be scared of them either. Keep a log, communicate in writing.

I have seen cases where non-resident parents have not been involved in assessments following referrals. It shouldn’t happen but it does. You should be able to request information though expect some of it to be redacted if it refers to your ex.