Divorce - both want the house

[DinosaurDiana]

What happens if you’re getting divorced but you both want to keep the house ?

@FinallyHere

My other option is to stay with him

Is there a patio?

I probably could do with a new one 😉

Thanks for all you replies, but I love where this house is. That’s why I want to stay. If I could knock the house down and make it smaller and cheaper to run I would.
Thanks again.

@NotDavidTennant

How wil you support yourself in old age if you give up enitlement to his pension in return for the house?

This

If you have no pension at all, that’s a huge problem for you. I certainly wouldn’t ignore the pension. Also get building your own pension pot ASAP.

Stop doing things for him. You can live separately under one roof.

Ive been through this and made the mistakes.

Yes, there are variables, however since you were a carer for kids for so long it IS highly likely that you get more than fifty per cent of the house.

Assume if there is disagreement you might try mediation.

Has anyone filed for divorce yet? If not, that is the first step in the process.

If kids are over 16 then I don't know if children's matters hearing will be held, I shouldn't think so.

After that there is a finance hearing.

Very, very important is you get documentation of everything that you can. Mine turned up to mediation and said he had 'forgotton' to bring his pension documents. Be prepared for that.

Can't see any reason if you want to stay in the house that you shouldn't .

Child of sixteen is still a child legally and you will need to ensure a stable environment for them, at this crucial stage in their life. For at least the next two years. And after that, depending on what they are doing, they will want to come home from college etc.

If you need to pm me regarding all this please do. Good luck.

If you have no pension at all, that’s a huge problem for you. I certainly wouldn’t ignore the pension. Also get building your own pension pot ASAP.

Don't under estimate the importance of a private pension!

All assets will be split. Most likely equally, possibly up to 60/40 in you favour.

Starting point is to know what everything is worth.

Then you can figure out how you want to receive your share.

In v simplistic terms of you both want the house to form part of “your share” then it will come down to numbers. E.g. if his share of the house is 500k and yours in 500k one of you might offer the other 100k to secure it.

Be careful that you don’t end up property rich with no cash.

Will you get a full state pension. And will you get any private pension?That does need to be taken into account. You can't live on fresh air. And the council tax will be higher on a bigger house even if you do get single person's discount. Never mind repairs and running costs.

Yes to full state pension.
I think I’d end up with about £100,000.00 of his pension. But I’m not sure how that works out as a yearly figure when you take it.

Are you planning to self-represent in court? Do you have cash on hand to pay for a solicitor?

The 100k works out at 4.5-5k per year approx I think. And state pension is around probably 8k or theresbouts. Its not a great deal of money to live on.

You have to take the emotion out of this. If you like the area, could a divorce settlement get you a new home you could afford. You have many years left and you need to think about your future as much as your past.

@DinosaurDiana

Yes to full state pension. I think I’d end up with about £100,000.00 of his pension. But I’m not sure how that works out as a yearly figure when you take it.

Is that 50% of his pension?

@Viviennemary

The 100k works out at 4.5-5k per year approx I think. And state pension is around probably 8k or theresbouts. Its not a great deal of money to live on.

It's a good start, though, if she adds to it and it has decades to grow

This must all be very difficult and distressing for you. Just to give you some background,

£100,000 your retirement income would be around £4,000 to £5,000 a year. Plus some £10k for the state pension, if it's still around by then.

I don't want to worry you, but pension poverty is a real thing.

https://www.unbiased.co.uk/news/financial-adviser/pension-income-from-100k-pot

Sorry but I think you’re being extremely silly and short sighted, you’re potentially setting up the rest of your life for disaster. You can’t afford the house long term and it is also not necessary anymore, you need to put on your big girl pants and buy a house suitable for you.

If you proceed with this silly plan to get the house above all else, you’ll end up selling it eventually because you’ll run out of money and find it’s just big and echoey. Wouldn’t it be much better to have money to spend on travelling with your kids, spending time with them, etc rather than sacrificing your financial well-being to live in a shrine to a failed marriage? Also sorry it sounds like you’re partially motivated by getting one over your ex, which is a terrible basis d’or your financial well-being