MIL’s estate. Trouble with executor. What can we do?

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I’ve posted before about MIL’s estate.

OH and MIL were in partnership before she died (farming). She has gifted OH the business, livestock and machinery in her will but has split the land, houses and buildings on the farm between OH, SIL, BIL and OH’s nephew. So between 4 of them.

BIL and SIL are both executors.

There is history between OH and BIL included but not limited to BIL having a criminal record for GBH against OH around 13 years ago.

We’ve had years of harassment/spying and even threatening behaviour from BIL and his wife.
Examples of this include but are not limited to, threatening to maliciously report us to social services, glass placed around our children’s toys outside, telling us we’d better ‘watch out’, threatening to undo/damage any improvements OH has made to the farm (fencing, infrastructure etc) blocking access to farm gates and much more. We all live on the farm so it’s difficult but with the way MIL has left the will we have to stay put for now.

He has recently started to turn on the children. He has come down from work shouting, raving and swearing like a lunatic at them, thrown their toys over fences. He left my eldest DD’s sobbing over the Easter holidays. He also threatened to take my eldest some where to ‘square her up.’Him and his wife both make a point of glaring at our children when they walk past them too. We involved the police who came to our house. They also cautioned BIL who said his issue was that they were playing football and his wife didn’t like it as they were making noise and she’s working from home and she was worried that they were disturbing her hens (I have plenty of video footage of children and hens coexisting in harmony outside, I can’t believe this is what it’s come to). They’re not rowdy, they make ‘noise’ but all children do and that is a safe, enclosed environment for our DC’s to play in. Farms are dangerous places for children.

Anyway we hoped we’d nipped it in the bud. DC’s were out playing on Monday afternoon for 20 minutes, it was around 4pm. DC’s came back in for dinner. Saw BIL come home from work at around 5:30pm (we share an access to our houses and he walks past our kitchen window) he glared in and smirked at me and seconds later all of the cows stampeded down in front of our house. We knew he had opened the gate and let them out and despite having a camera in the shed he’d managed to do it so that the camera didn’t catch him. You can only see his hand and arm.

DC’s were outside again on Tuesday night after school playing catch this time. Not being rowdy, just playing in their own garden. BIL came home, ran in full view of myself, opened the shed gate, booted a heavily pregnant sheep and let all of the ewes out of the shed. Newly lambed ewes were separated from their lambs as they jumped from their pens when the gates were opened. We think we’ve identified the ewe he kicked and have kept her in a pen to monitor her.

I actually managed to get this caught on my mobile phone. The whole incident and you can clearly identify him on the footage. We’ve reported it to the police again and they’ve asked us to make a statement which we are going to do. I’ve also sent them the footage. Not only is this disrupting the running of OH’s business, it had potential financial implications and could’ve been incredibly dangerous if the children had been in the way of the cattle and even the sheep (there were around 150/200 that he let out and we have a toddler who would’ve been trampled)

Could we have him removed as an executor? We have a list a mile long about him. Including planning permission fraud. He has verbalised to several people and my OH that he wants to put OH out of business and my children, myself and SIL are frightened of him.

Where do we stand? We believe he has already tried to be underhanded with the distribution of the estate and he is refusing to seek any sort of legal advice to resolve matters that have arisen.

That’s vile behaviour from him.

Sorry isn’t saying anything helpful but wow .... what goes on in some peoples heads 😞

That sounds completely untenable- he's utterly mad and reads as if he will stop at nothing

Can you sell?

The alternative is to lock all sheep/cows in and really step up security so he physically can't let out any animals or hurt them

It just sounds horrific

He is mad. That’s the conclusion we’ve come to. We genuinely think he needs some sort of assessment.

We’d all have to agree to sell and how to sell. BIL has said he will only agree to them selling their quarters if they all sell to him but that will be on his terms and he’ll try to beg it for much less than its value. OH and SIL have said that they’ll only sell if it goes on the open market as they want to walk out with as much money as possible (which is understandable - OH had many, many years without a wage).

But you’re right. We need to get out.

Bloody hell this is horrendous! Is he married to your DH’s sister, or is he the blood relative ?
Are the houses ( and packages of land) all divided into lots, or is it all jointly owned now ? He is clearly dangerous, what was your Mil thinking leaving this mess ?

We’ve also got combination locks now for all shed gates.

We’ve had them on field gates as we suspect he’s done similar in the past and let sheep/cows onto the road but never had evidence until now.

@SirVixofVixHall he’s OH’s brother. It’s all jointly owned. MIL wouldn’t have cared. She’s used and abused OH and thrown him to the lions.

I’m outraged! Would you consider sending the footage to the RSPCA?

Sorry I have no proper advice but I would seek professional advice from a solicitor or more appropriate legal advisor. I would be wanting to sell the farm and move far away as soon as possible. Can dh start again elsewhere taking his stock with him?
This is awful. All I can offer is a virtual hug.

@Sacredspace we’re going to ask the police about that as I feel it needs reporting.

This is awful. I knew you can get an executor removed, but with difficulty. I was just reading this which seems to suggest it might be possible to have him removed under unsuitability, but you need some serious proof.

If you think he really is seriously unwell, any chance of pursuing that?

I think you need some legal advice. I would suggest seeking advice about whether you can obtain a civil injunction against BIL to prevent him from letting out, touching, frightening or otherwise interfering with your livestock. It sounds like your mobile phone footage plus your evidence about the cows might be sufficient to obtain such an injunction. The benefit of that is that breach of that injunction is a contempt of court punishable by imprisonment, so it is very likely that it will cause him to stop that behaviour. It is also pretty quick to obtain from your local county court, particularly if you make an urgent application on the basis that the well-being of your livestock including pregnant ewes is at risk, plus danger to the public and your children.
Then with that injunction in hand, also consider and obtain advice on whether you should apply to the high court for BiL to be removed as executor. I think it will be easier to argue for that if the high court judge can see that a judge in the local county court has seen fit to impose an injunction against BIL. That plus the previous GBH against you might be sufficient but as I say you need advice.
Go to a good local solicitors firm with good property/estates/farming experience (not merely conveyancing experience) as that falls within “chancery” work and the executor point is a chancery matter.
Good luck.

@Delphigirl we’re seeking legal advice at the moment on various matters. With an NFU recommended branch of solicitors. We’re hoping this footage proves how unhinged he is and how intent he is on damaging OH’s livelihood.
Fingers crossed for an injunction. Especially with his previous.

We’re just worried about the lies and allegations he will come back with. We’re apprehensive to say the least and now thinking we’ll likely be reported to social services, RSPCA etc ourselves. We’ve got nothing to hide but it’s just going to be a nuisance as we’re lambing and calving at the moment and could really do without the disruption.

you need to get an injunction against him, he insaine. Get the police involved more and 100% sell up and get out

what a crazy man]

sorry no help about the will

Sadly this is really common in farming families because the ‘family’ farm is the one tremendously valuable asset that they have but it doesn’t usually support all of the siblings in business. My family had a similar situation a few years ago. Two brothers who farmed and two who didn’t. One of the non farming brothers was a very angry and disturbed man. The sale had to be forced through step by bloody step. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to sell, it was that at every stage he was trying to dictate the terms to his advantage and wouldn’t even entertain progressing unless the others agreed.

Have you got a land agent/auctioneer who knows the family well? Could you speak to them? Go outside the family for help as much as you can. The ‘angry’ brother in our situation was an awful bully to the other three but was very keen not to be seen that way by the wider community. The local land agents and their in house solicitor, who all knew the family, were able to get him to agree to move forward at certain points where he wouldn’t even entertain it for family.

It sounds like you are going to have to resign yourself to doing this through the legal route, at least until he realises how much it’s going to cost him/the estate. That might make him see sense. If you wanted to appear reasonable you could say that you would be prepared to sell to him but only based upon the average of three independent valuations based upon it being sold with vacant possession (obviously worth much more than with sitting tenants). You could also time limit the offer i.e. he has X months to provide proof of funds/exchange or whatever then if it does come to a legal battle, you have shown that you have attempted to meet halfway.

I’m sure you already are, but keep records of everything. If you do get visits from the RSPCA, Social Services or whoever, be incredibly polite and reasonable and explain the situation. Tell them that there is an ongoing campaign of harassment and that the police are involved. Make sure you get a record of the fact that there was a referral/complaint and nothing was found.

It’s going to be really hard and I wish you the best of luck. It’s an awful situation but it won’t go on forever; you will come out of the other side.

@GettingItOutThere thank you. Yes, an injunction is the aim for now. We can’t carry on like this. I’m a quivering wreck. I set my phone to record from the moment I walk out of my front door to the car and back again.

A delivery man knocked on the door yesterday and my heart nearly thumped out of my chest and I was shaking going to the door. I was sure it was BIL or his wife coming to have a go. Realised it was the delivery man and could’ve cried at what living so close to them with what they’re doing has done to me. I can’t even play out in the garden with my toddler because I know I’m being watched and she’s tried to accuse me of not looking after her properly while we’ve been in the garden before now.

I can't imagine what mental strain you must be living under. I had a share of freehold once with a really vindictive and unhinged person and it nearly drove me over the edge.

I hope the legal / police route yields results quickly.

@Lolalovesmarmite, we went to our local auctioneer/land agent to try to get a tenancy for the land for OH but he had no empathy at all, expected OH to pay all insurance, electric and maintenance for sheds but said that he had to sublet them to various family members (who are already occupying some sheds on the farm) for £1! Wanted him to sign his subsidies away, ridiculous amounts of money PA for farm land that is classed as ‘disadvantaged.’ Kept talking about if this farm went in the open market as a tenanted property he’d have a list a mile long. But it isn’t going on the open market, it has a sitting tenant and a business that has run off it for 40+ years! We think it’s been a brown envelope job between this land agent and BIL.

We enlisted the help of another, impartial land agent (at cost to OH) who couldn’t believe the heads of terms that he was reading and the PPA of the land that was being asked and the fact that they had asked for the rent to be backdated to the date of MIL’s death (despite OH actually putting a reasonable rent for the land in the executors account) there have been tenancies flown back and forth. The ones they’ve come back with have been incredibly controlling. Examples are OH having to write to them to carry out ANY maintenance. Whether that’s simply repairing a fence or maintaining an old barn. He has to ask their permission to do anything.

BIL already inherited 140 acres as a 10 year old boy (their father sadly passed away before OH was born and this land was left to BIL in his will)

BIL has never had to pay for anything. He has a successful business which he runs from said land. He’s never had to have a mortgage, OH and MIL paid for the conversion of his home from barn to dwelling (which he used OH to get fraudulently passed by the national parks!) and this is how OH is treated. With such contempt! I just can’t understand the way he is. Everyone thinks he’s marvellous and he’s just a bully and a thug.

I know we’ve got one hell of a fight on our hands. We’re currently trying to prove a parcel of land that OH contributed to buying financially and is an asset of the partnership is actually OH’s so that we can maybe borrow some money and get ourselves out of this mess.

We’re currently stuck in a small 2 bed house with 4 children which presents challenges in itself while they’re rattling around in a 4 bed barn conversion that he bullied out of MIL and lied and used OH to get (it’s a farm workers cottage, BIL a isn’t a farm worker and said to the planning inspector that OH would be living in it)

Thank you for your advice. I’ve let our DD’s school know what’s going on so if we have any come back from SS they have the heads up about it.

@Lolalovesmarmite forgot to add, we’re seeking legal advice on several matter arising from his behaviour so we’ve resigned ourselves to this.

It’s such a worry, we’re not particularly well off and have had a really difficult couple of years with the business. It’s a scary thought thinking about paying solicitors fees but it’s either that or busty our heads in the sand which, admittedly, we’ve done before to try not to provoke anymore shit from them but they don’t need provocation. It seems they enjoy tormenting us.

This makes horrific reading and my heart goes out to you and your family. I have no help to offer but just wonder where you stand insurance wise with regard to his actions I.e. if you need to claim for damage escaped stock do to themselves, to others if they cause an accident, to equipment. Do you need to advise them of his actions, do you have legal advice as part of the policy. Not prob what you need to hear but felt I had to mention my thoughts. Have you thought about Cctv? Might escalate the situation but he sounds as though he will stop at nothing. Good luck with the injunction.

@Roystonv no, thank you, it’s something we hadn’t considered actually but it’s best we’re made aware and then we can act accordingly.

There really needs to be more protection for people who find themselves in OH’s position. He’s worked since he was 16 on this farm for no wage. He’s now 42 he’s lucky to inherit, I know that but look at the mess we’re in. His livelihood is now massively compromised, our kids are intimidated, we’re all frightened. He said he wishes he’d just walked out and sought employment elsewhere but he loves his work and is good at it.

We had another incident with him earlier. I was coming back from the school run and BIL and SIL were arguing.

His criminal record against OH was brought up and he said ‘I only beat up because he gave mum a black eye.’ He said this in front of our children and thanks to the fact that I now set my phone to video when I step foot outside, I’ve got it recorded.

Of course, this is total bullshit. BIL has only thought to mention this 13 years after the incident happened. I’m pretty sure if this had happened, MIL would’ve been questioned and OH would’ve been the one getting arrested and charged. His wife said to me herself a few years ago ‘he only beat him up because he wasn’t pulling his weight.’

We’ve also noticed glass arriving our DC’s toys outside again tonight. We can’t prove it’s them but know it is 😩

Install a ring doorbell and CCTV ASAP. Body cam is also a good idea -turn on and off when needed.

To echo PP, CCTV cameras.
Use indoor cameras pointed through windows wherever possible, as he can't damage those without breaking the windows - and it would all be recorded.
For areas you can't cover from inside, get a system installed as high as possible, again so he can't damage it.
And yes, pursue the legal route of getting him removed as executor if you can.

Invest in A LOT of cctv op.

Tomorrow.

You need to build a massive case and get him locked up.

Thank you, we’ve got a camera inside which has caught him glaring at me/the kids numerous times when he walks past. It’s not a night vision camera though unfortunately and they do a lot of their damage on a night so it’s not captured. Will have to look into purchasing one and body cam however, phone seems to be doing a good job for now.