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MIL’s estate. Trouble with executor. What can we do?

61 replies

user1488481370 · 15/04/2021 11:27

I’ve posted before about MIL’s estate.

OH and MIL were in partnership before she died (farming). She has gifted OH the business, livestock and machinery in her will but has split the land, houses and buildings on the farm between OH, SIL, BIL and OH’s nephew. So between 4 of them.

BIL and SIL are both executors.

There is history between OH and BIL included but not limited to BIL having a criminal record for GBH against OH around 13 years ago.

We’ve had years of harassment/spying and even threatening behaviour from BIL and his wife.
Examples of this include but are not limited to, threatening to maliciously report us to social services, glass placed around our children’s toys outside, telling us we’d better ‘watch out’, threatening to undo/damage any improvements OH has made to the farm (fencing, infrastructure etc) blocking access to farm gates and much more. We all live on the farm so it’s difficult but with the way MIL has left the will we have to stay put for now.

He has recently started to turn on the children. He has come down from work shouting, raving and swearing like a lunatic at them, thrown their toys over fences. He left my eldest DD’s sobbing over the Easter holidays. He also threatened to take my eldest some where to ‘square her up.’Him and his wife both make a point of glaring at our children when they walk past them too. We involved the police who came to our house. They also cautioned BIL who said his issue was that they were playing football and his wife didn’t like it as they were making noise and she’s working from home and she was worried that they were disturbing her hens (I have plenty of video footage of children and hens coexisting in harmony outside, I can’t believe this is what it’s come to). They’re not rowdy, they make ‘noise’ but all children do and that is a safe, enclosed environment for our DC’s to play in. Farms are dangerous places for children.

Anyway we hoped we’d nipped it in the bud. DC’s were out playing on Monday afternoon for 20 minutes, it was around 4pm. DC’s came back in for dinner. Saw BIL come home from work at around 5:30pm (we share an access to our houses and he walks past our kitchen window) he glared in and smirked at me and seconds later all of the cows stampeded down in front of our house. We knew he had opened the gate and let them out and despite having a camera in the shed he’d managed to do it so that the camera didn’t catch him. You can only see his hand and arm.

DC’s were outside again on Tuesday night after school playing catch this time. Not being rowdy, just playing in their own garden. BIL came home, ran in full view of myself, opened the shed gate, booted a heavily pregnant sheep and let all of the ewes out of the shed. Newly lambed ewes were separated from their lambs as they jumped from their pens when the gates were opened. We think we’ve identified the ewe he kicked and have kept her in a pen to monitor her.

I actually managed to get this caught on my mobile phone. The whole incident and you can clearly identify him on the footage. We’ve reported it to the police again and they’ve asked us to make a statement which we are going to do. I’ve also sent them the footage. Not only is this disrupting the running of OH’s business, it had potential financial implications and could’ve been incredibly dangerous if the children had been in the way of the cattle and even the sheep (there were around 150/200 that he let out and we have a toddler who would’ve been trampled)

Could we have him removed as an executor? We have a list a mile long about him. Including planning permission fraud. He has verbalised to several people and my OH that he wants to put OH out of business and my children, myself and SIL are frightened of him.

Where do we stand? We believe he has already tried to be underhanded with the distribution of the estate and he is refusing to seek any sort of legal advice to resolve matters that have arisen.

OP posts:
SirVixofVixHall · 24/04/2021 09:28

@nickymanchester

(it’s a farm workers cottage, BIL a isn’t a farm worker and said to the planning inspector that OH would be living in it)

If BIL isn't involved in any form of agriculture at all then, yes, he is in breach of planning permission.

Just as an extra lever, you may wish to inform the local council planning department that BIL is in breach and it is likely that they will take action against him.

I was going to suggest this too. Are you in England OP ?
SirVixofVixHall · 24/04/2021 09:34

Slashing tyres is criminal damage, the police need to start helping you .

notagainmummy · 24/04/2021 09:38

Can you report him to the RSPCA?

user1488481370 · 24/04/2021 09:41

@SirVixofVixHall yes, we’re in England.

I know. I can’t understand why they were gunning for an harassment and stalking order and now have backed down 🤷‍♀️ i just don’t get it. I asked them if they were waiting for someone to get hurt before they acted (which is exactly what I wanted to avoid by doing this!) we feel so let down by them.

OP posts:
TinkerPony · 24/04/2021 09:57

This is too stressful i agree with PP to move out and let OH farm from outside and use the cottage as accommodation for lambing calving season.
Or he could work as a farmer for someone else.
Yes report to council it seem this is the last leverage againt unhinged bil.

HotSauceCommittee · 24/04/2021 10:04

OP, I think you need to call 101 and make a complaint about the cops. You have evidence, there are lines of enquiry, they have a duty to investigate this. They need to do a risk assessment too as you live in such close proximity to the perpetrator. It's not low risk.

Halsall · 24/04/2021 10:22

It sounds absolutely horrendous, OP, I'm so sorry. Have you posted about it before, maybe a couple of years ago? There's something about this situation that sounds horribly familiar. I'm so sorry I don't have any helpful ideas for tackling it - other than pursuing the PP breach - but you have all my sympathy, not that it helps, I'm afraid Sad

SionnachGlic · 24/04/2021 10:41

Get the motion sensoe lights & cameras, keep the recordings as proof if you need it of his/her continuous interference. Speak to solr & ask if it is possible to partition property..take proceedings to actually on paper & on the ground to divide the ownership into lots rather than each having shares in land that is undivided on the ground (if that is the case). Presumably if he hasn't been done for trespass & damage already it is because no-one actually owns separate sites/lots yet & the beneficiaries all own an undefined quarter share in the entire so he is entitled on to 'your' property & vice versa. Altho maybe he was smart enough to have his barn conversion & 140 acres transferred to his own name. I don't understand how cops are letting him away with intentionally letting livestock loose & animal cruelty. And you can have someone removed as Executor....there are specific rules around it & you would need proof that he has fallen short of his duty & acting unreasonably (more than being an arseh@le) in the context of MILs estate. Report every event of significance to cops, planning authority (or was your husband somewhat complicit in this?), RSPCA. It sounds horrendous OP...check out about partitioning the property & removing as Executor (you'd need a Court Order for both) & then sell your lot on & get the hell out.

TheABC · 24/04/2021 10:52

I would complain about the police response. This is a long campaign of ongoing harassment. The police want to turn a blind eye to it as it's hard to prove, so keep plugging away and stacking up the evidence.

BIL wants you off the farm. This is his way of getting it all for himself.

Halsall · 24/04/2021 13:24

Sorry, OP, just seen that you have posted before. I remember your thread and it was horrific then. I'm so sorry about the turn it's now taken.

Crikeyblimey · 24/04/2021 16:16

This sounds horrific OP. I really feel for you amd your family and hope you can find a way forward.

I don’t mean to alarm further but is there a chance there is inheritance tax to pay? I only ask as this happened with my cousins when my aunt died.

The will stipulated that one son and his wife could stay in the farmhouse as long as they wanted but the value of the estate meant a fairly hefty tax bill (other son still farmed most of the land and didn’t see why he should sell to pay the bill). However as son in farmhouse refused to sell, the bill remained unpaid - for bloody years (and as far as I know still isn’t). To the point where none of the other siblings will ever see sight of a penny.

I may have got some of the detail wrong but it is worth considering if applicable.

I genuinely hope you get sorted and your dh can continue to farm where he is.

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