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Original poster

Inheritance

114 replies

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 23/01/2021 14:35

Need advice please. My daughter (17) has inherited a substantial sum from her grandparents on my ex husband's side. They died several years ago and I knew there was an amount held in trust for her until she's 25. I didn't realise there was an issue until recently when my ex brother in law got in touch with me.

Basically there was a pot of money split between 3 surviving grandchildren. The issue is that my ex has since had another child (who his parents didn't even know existed) and is now contesting the Will to try and get his new child a share of the money, despite what the will says. His brother is obviously tied up in all this as it impacts how much his kids will get. It's likely to go to court and as part of that we are trying to get the money released for my daughter when she is 18 so that he no longer has control over her.

My concern is that my ex has control over the trust and we know that he has not ringfenced my daughter's money from his own inheritance. So if he died tomorrow the money would likely be split between his two children.

His brother has fallen out with him over this and has a solicitor involved. My ex is very controlling and abusive and my daughter rarely sees him any more. He's being very difficult about the whole thing and just keeps telling my daughter that she doesn't need to worry about it. I don't trust him.

Do I need to get my own solicitor involved or should I leave it to the brother? I could really do without the extra worry at the moment but I don't want my daughter being screwed over by her own father.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 04/02/2021 19:50

What an absolute bastard!!

So glad you are going to see it through.

Kabakofte · 04/02/2021 20:15

Wow! Unbelievable what people think they can get away with. The fact that he's put the money above his own flesh and blood says all you need to know ( although you obviously already knew it!) I hope she gets it all with interest!!

ChateauMargaux · 06/02/2021 06:12

She or someone acting on her behalf, needs to see the will, full accounting of the estate and confirmation that her share has been placed in trust. Be wary of any 'drawing a line under it' statements. No agreement to say 'this is in full settlement' can make him immune from prosecution in the case fraud is discovered at a later date. Your BIL should have details of the sums involved for you to check the trust amounts against.

Original poster
chocolatesaltyballs22 · 06/02/2021 09:05

So we have gone back and accepted what he is offering (stating we want it formally set out in writing) but he is even now trying to apply conditions to everything and retain some control. It's so stressful. This has caused me sleepless nights for weeks and it's still not over. I feel like sueing the bastard anyway.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 06/02/2021 09:24

Be thankful he is your ex!!!

Have you spoken to your BIL again? I joint approach may save you both legal fees?

It sound like you need the original money back and for him to no longer be trust holder.

Also remember how furious he is that he has not got away with!!! You have already won the war Thanks

RandomMess · 06/02/2021 09:39

I would write a letter to the solicitor trustee signed for delivery at home or work notify him that he has assisted in defrauding the trust and it will be going to court unless it is rectified immediately and trustee is transferred to someone of your DDs appointment.

I would lay out why it is fraud - the ex was to pay school fees his own monies I lieu of maintenance etc etc.

You also need full evidence of the income/interest her investment has earned since its creation as her new trust is owed that in full as well as the original capital.

This solicitor friend needs to be told he is on the deep shit ASAP.

Newcastleteacake · 06/02/2021 09:43

You are doing an amazing job as a mum and as a human.

Just keep reminding yourself that your ex has no power over you and you will remain strong.

Your DD has a kick ass role model.

Original poster
chocolatesaltyballs22 · 06/02/2021 09:55

Thank you, this has reminded me why I bloody love MN.

Solicitor friend is still ignoring any emails I send him. I suspect it's him who had made ex do what he has done recently as he knows he's in deep shit. If he's still fucking around by the end of this weekend I'm taking it up with the solicitor friend again. I can't believe that even after all this he's still being a slimy bastard. Oh, and then he asks daughter when he's going to see her like everything is alright in the world again! He's unbelievable.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 06/02/2021 10:09

This is why you need to send solicitor "friend" something by signed delivery rather than email.

Be very clear that the full monies need to be handed over by x date with no conditions etc etc. You could also include that you believe he is in breach of his professional standards as you believe he has been complicit in defrauding the trust value as ex states that you advised him the monies could be used for school fees when indeed that agreement was that ex would pay them instead of child maintenance.

Remind this "friend" that he is jointly liable for the monies.

Remember your ex will throw this solicitor "friend" under a bus. Your ex will blame him and lie lie lie. This "friend" needs to know his profession and his money is on the line.

Basically ensure that solicitor knows you know enough and that a timeframe given of x weeks is not unreasonable. That ex stalling tactics and conditions are non-negotiable.

If it goes to court you will be naming both of them!

Who does DD wish to appoint as new trustees?

Original poster
chocolatesaltyballs22 · 06/02/2021 10:23

It'll be me I guess, although she's 18 in a few months so it becomes irellevant. There's also the separate court case for the rest of the estate which ex BIL is handling. It's all so complicated. But thankfully all of this which has come to light has strengthened the case that ex can't be trusted as a trustee.

OP posts:
BlueThistles · 08/02/2021 03:14

well done Mum.... don't let him put any constraints on DD 🌺

Original poster
chocolatesaltyballs22 · 25/04/2021 14:19

This is an old one but thought I'd give an update because lots of people were very helpful. Two months on and my daughter has has about 20% of the money paid back to her. My BIL is going to court over the rest of the estate and that has yet to be resolved.

But what has prompted my update is that ex contacted me recently asking for £200 which he believes I owe him (for school lunches and school bus fares from my house which get charged to his school fee account). I have always paid him back for bus fares in the past but not lunches - it's about the only thing that he pays for food wise for her given she doesn't go to his house and he pays no maintenance.

I've told him I'm not paying it. He has a cheek considering he owes thousands to my daughter and then chasing me up for a couple of hundred. Am I wrong to do this?

OP posts:
Sayitaintsoiwillnotgo · 25/04/2021 15:42

State you will happily pay when your daughters money is returned.

DoubleTweenQueen · 25/04/2021 16:04

I wouldn't deal with him at all until this sorry and extremely serious matter is resolved, to a satisfactory conclusion.

Kabakofte · 25/04/2021 16:14

What grubby behaviour on his part!

AngelDelightUk · 25/04/2021 16:18

What an absolute tool. How did you not tell him where to stick it?!

RB68 · 25/04/2021 16:19

It sounds like a good time to address this and remove the rust from him given he has failed in his duties to protect her inheritance. ITs def worth getting a solicitor to be clear that 1. the trust has not been set up and as an executor he is not meeting the requirements of that role and 2. Resetting the trust to be in the charge of someone appropriate (may have to be a solicitor if ex is contentious and then 3 access at 18 (maybe as a result of his mismanagement etc. Although you may have to justify this and end up with it still controlled to 25 but with looser rules on what it can be used for etc)

RB68 · 25/04/2021 16:22

ITs moved on alot - good luck with the court case - I feel for kids - he has defrauded his own daughter and nephews and nieces and the solicitor has been complicit and needs reporting in my view

SunIsComing · 25/04/2021 18:14

No way, dont pay the cf!

Original poster
chocolatesaltyballs22 · 25/04/2021 19:33

Thanks all. I still doubt myself sometimes but I did tell him to fuck off and got a bullshit response about him doing it all in her best interests and he's going to pay her back fully...words are cheap though. It gives me a lot of satisfaction to know that there's bigger all he can do if I refuse to pay him.

OP posts:
Original poster
chocolatesaltyballs22 · 25/04/2021 19:45

*bugger all. Damn auto correct.

OP posts:
Pompom2367 · 26/04/2021 07:37

He is being petty op you didn't agree to pay this so it is not on you

Original poster
chocolatesaltyballs22 · 26/04/2021 09:42

I agreed to pay bus fares but not lunches. But given he owes thousands to our daughter I can't believe he's got the cheek to ask for this.

OP posts:
BlueDahlia69 · 27/04/2021 01:16

good in you OP.

MrsRockAndRoll · 27/04/2021 20:46

What are the next steps for the remaining money he owes her?

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