Inheritance

[chocolatesaltyballs22]

Need advice please. My daughter (17) has inherited a substantial sum from her grandparents on my ex husband's side. They died several years ago and I knew there was an amount held in trust for her until she's 25. I didn't realise there was an issue until recently when my ex brother in law got in touch with me.

Basically there was a pot of money split between 3 surviving grandchildren. The issue is that my ex has since had another child (who his parents didn't even know existed) and is now contesting the Will to try and get his new child a share of the money, despite what the will says. His brother is obviously tied up in all this as it impacts how much his kids will get. It's likely to go to court and as part of that we are trying to get the money released for my daughter when she is 18 so that he no longer has control over her.

My concern is that my ex has control over the trust and we know that he has not ringfenced my daughter's money from his own inheritance. So if he died tomorrow the money would likely be split between his two children.

His brother has fallen out with him over this and has a solicitor involved. My ex is very controlling and abusive and my daughter rarely sees him any more. He's being very difficult about the whole thing and just keeps telling my daughter that she doesn't need to worry about it. I don't trust him.

Do I need to get my own solicitor involved or should I leave it to the brother? I could really do without the extra worry at the moment but I don't want my daughter being screwed over by her own father.

Just googled it and it said that as well as the trustees being jointly liable you can also bring court action against any third party who profits from a trustees misconduct to recover your money. So for example if ex gives it to kid I think you can bring court action against kid although they would be represented by the parents I imagine.

yes, i think it would definitely be a striking off matter for a solicitor (assuming all facts correct)

If it was me I'd be emailing solicitor trustee and explaining that ex has not ring fenced money has mixed it with his and that he is angling to take money out of the trust and give it to someone else. I would then say if the money mismanagement was not resolved within a week that an email would be sent to the law society investigating the possibility of solicitor friend being struck off for professional misconduct and that solicitor friend would be held personally liable for financial loss. Solicitor friend will have to decide who he loves more ex or his career and savings. Do you think solicitor friend is apathetic enough to do nothing after that email ? I would also be warning solicitor friend that I would contact the law firm he works for to warn them he has been reported for professional misconduct. I wonder if him and ex will be such good friends if he were to be struck off?

Just for info. If the other trustee is a solicitor there is little to no possibility of the Solicitors Regulation Authority investigating them, regardless of breaches of their Principles. I have just been through all this and was dealing with a very clear breach of their Principles - they just refused to investigate and wouldn't explain why. There is no appeal to anyone else either. Google them on Trust Pilot, you will see pages and pages of people complaining about them and some of them are for extremely serious issues. I was absolutely shocked by my experience of them - believe me, it wasn't a trivial complaint and was a very clear breach. They are just not fit for purpose and are not on the side of the client in any way.

Having been through a will dispute I would work with your brother-in-law's solicitor to split costs as much as possible as this could be VERY costly.

What the person below says it shocking ! You could threaten to report him anyway in the hope that he doesn't know how bad the regulators are. I also think threatening to inform his employer is worrg trying. He might decide that nobody will do anything but it is worth trying. You definitely can threaten to chase after him for money lost or removed by the trust.

The issue is that my ex has since had another child (who his parents didn't even know existed)
Since the will was written or since they passed away? The part in parenthesis would imply they were still alive just not met them.

@dontdisturbmenow the child was born after they had both passed away. Like, 2 years after. So there can't really be any confusion over where they intended the money to go!

This is just getting more and more messy - my daughter has specifically authorised me to deal with all of this on her behalf and I have told my ex this. But he insists on badgering her with some of the details of where the money is, in a smoke and mirrors attempt to disguise the fact that he has invested some of it who knows where. I don't think he knows I have any idea of the total amount. He has been about to account for about a third of it. Just waiting on my ex BIL to get back to me before I start talking to my own solicitor.

That should have said 'he has been able to account for about a third of it.'

Would ex care if he destroyed his relationship with both his brother and daughter over this ? Does he think he can disappear the money and she will just forget ?

Oh the relationship with the brother is already destroyed, ditto with my daughter. But the ex is such a narcissist that he truly believes that his actions are reasonable and that none of this is his fault. He's impossible to deal with.

I home your solicitor is very aggressive and drags him to court. I know from personal experience that narasists and family trust funds go together very badly. I am certain he will loose in court about his child needing something. I think a court will laugh at the idea that a person who did not exist at the time the death happened should get a penny. Grandchildren very often don't get anything from the grandparents anyway. Where they do it's most often a small token because they had a close relationship. When he looses I imagine his narasisim will mean he gets in a right old temper with the judge.

Is ex planning to have any more children? If he is considering it is he planning to go to court and contest the will every time a new child appears? The court ought to consider this.

In addition is brother in law going to have any more ? How would ex react if brother in law told him they were planning to have another child and that the estate needed to be divided again?

I doubt the brother will have any more now, given his age. Didn't expect the ex to be having more kids either, he's well over 50. But who knows.

Advice from ex BIL's solicitor is to give him a chance to put things right. My daughter has emailed asking for details of the trust as she is legally entitled to see this, but he has totally swerved the question in his response. I think a solicitor is going to be necessary.

Your ex sounds awful - but you clearly don’t need me to tell you that! Ensure that communications are in writing and be firm in your requests.

The response from ex BIL's solicitor to 'give him a chance to put things right' acknowledges that things have not been done right. Do you have that in writing?

Definitely get a solicitor.

Not don't have that in writing, it was informal advice given as technically he shouldn't be advising me. But I have all of the exes emails saved so that I can show how he has avoided the question. My daughter is worried about being too direct with him as he will play the 'don't you trust me' card or accuse her of being rude. But he's a slippery fucker so you have to ask him very specific questions. Even then he will swerve them. He should have been a politician.

It sounds like this matter has been dragging on for some years (ref. what you said about ExH's new child being born 2 years after his parents died ) - so at least 2 years ago - that's quite a long time. Check where the money is and exactly how much your DD was meant to get. There should be an account of the estate's assets and debts (like funeral costs etc). Your daughter as heir is entitled to know. You need to act immediately with a good independent solicitor. Hopefully she turns 18 soon and all money goes into her own name.

The words ''don't you trust me'' always smack of emotional blackmail.

He is totally about the emotional blackmail. The money is supposed to be held in trust til she's 25 but we're going to court to try and get her access at 18. I can't have him having this level of control for another 7+ years.

One of the good things about using a solicitor (in addition to their professional knowledge and skills) is that your dd will not need to talk to xh directly about any of this and will be protected from his manipulation and emotional blackmail.

If ex managed to get hold of the money for the new child who is very little I assume ? Is he liable to keep that money for himself? As all this could be forgotten about by the time new child is 25. In addition you say you don't know if he might have any more. If he had yet another child and kept all the money for himself because it was all forgotten by the time they are mid twenties adults.. he really would be quid in..

Thanks to everyone who has given me advice so far. I just wanted to provide a bit of an update. We found out today, after many emails and attempts by ex to fob off my daughter, that the proportion of the inheritance which he's had control over for the past 3 years (held in trust for her) has been spent on her school fees and a holidays. We have only got to this information by threatening legal action and asking to see the accounts for the trust fund. We still haven't seen any accounts and only have his word for where the money has gone. He is trying to spin it that 'the money has been used to her benefit.' The truth is, it's him who has pushed the private school agenda for all of these years, and I have forfeited maintenance from him in exchange for him paying the fees. But it transpires that he hasn't even technically been paying those from his own pocket. I believe that he should have at least been consulting our daughter from the age of 16 on where her money was going.

Anyway, next stop legal advice. If anyone has any further words of wisdom based on the above then it would be very helpful.

I have forfeited maintenance from him in exchange for him paying the fees

Oh shit.

I’m sorry, I’ve no words of advice. I’d start preparing myself mentally for the idea that much more of the money has been spent than he’s admitting.

Is his second child also at private school?

You said earlier up thread that your DD ought to inherit c£90K and he’s been able to ‘account for’ a third of it - £30K. Is that the portion he had control over that’s now spent?

I really feel for you and your DD.