I work in Family Court/County Court - AMA

[lovemenomore]

As the title says - I work in a County Court on mainly Family cases and sometimes civil matters - AMA!

I know there are a lot of court users currently being effected so AMA

I don't understand why you can't get legal aid when I have literally done absolutely nothing wrong. There's clearly some way of getting it.

Have you exhausted all the avenues available to you:

1. Women's Aid
2. Other relevant domestic abuse agencies
3. Different legal aid Solicitors

If so, what did they say? Someone must know how to help you.

You should check this thread for getting CMS payments if your ex has a Ltd company which seems likely if he is an accountant:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_matters/4155874-Child-maintenance-avoidance-limited-company

I am worried I am hijacking this thread. If you think I can help further you can PM but this thread probably needs to go back on topic.

@Concernedmama1

Would you say female judges are tougher on mother's?

And have you ever been on a case where both you and the judge thought contact was purely being sort in order to reduce maintenance? And if so what was the outcome?

Great thread by the way.

Hi @Concernedmama1

Sorry I am late coming back to this, been a busy few weeks.

In my experience no, I have been lucky to work with some very fair judges and everyone I have seen have taken the case on its facts.

You do unfortunately see parties doing that and if the judge can see it then it wouldn't happen!

@Vivenne

Have you always agreed with the judges decision? If no, is there any examples..

I havent had a case yet where I havent changed my mind throughout if that makes sense? You can get the files beforehand and read and on paper you can be like "oh yes I am on his/her side" however when you meet that person and hear from parties involved you can change your mind.

Also hearing what the judge has to say about it and past similar cases is really interesting as they tend to know how it will go.

Unfortunately the majority of the cases I have had lately have been not very nice and you know that the Judge needs to rule in favour of the children being removed from the home.

Would you be willing to answer a question personal to my case?! I actually feel like I am going completely and utterly insane and I don’t know where to turn to with my query....

@Nicknamegoeshere

When will Parental Alienation finally be recognised?

I couldn't say! It happens far to often though which is so sad.

My own stepchildren have suffered this for years and it really needs to be recognised formally. Experienced judges spot it a mile off.

@MummyofLennon

Thank you *@santaiscovidfree*. The thing is, I have no problem with our son spending time with her, once he is in his Dads care then they are a family unit. I don't feel it necessary for myself to have to deal with her though and as I have been more than reasonable in offering to drop him off when his Dad is unavailable to collect him, I see no reason for the issue to be forced. I'll just have to wait and see. But I firmly believe what is in my sons best interest is just that he have meaningful contact, which I have never stopped.

Hi

So you just don't want her picking him up? Have I understood that correctly? I wouldn't think that you would be able to get that stopped?

@TheNortherner

What do you think of the 3 stage divorce proceedings as in, is the second hearing of any use? Also do you think having a different judge at each stage is beneficial to the parties given how much latitude and how differently judges interpret the law?

I rarely get divorce cases so couldnt say sorry!

But a different judge at each stage has its benefits as well as negatives.

[quote bounce89]@Nicknamegoeshere
It was a social worker that the court had ordered to do a section 7 report. She was amazing and completely changed things for us, I just gave her my diary and copy's of messages and voice recordings and anything that could prove what was happening and she really listened to it and pieced it all together. My dc had been manipulated to say all sorts of things against me but she saw through it all.

Just be clear and calm when you try to tell people, don't bring up historical things as they use that against you unless you have the evidence to back it up.

One day your dc will see what the truth is and then he will lose all of his power.[/quote]
I am sorry you have both been in this position.

Like @bounce89 says you just need to keep going & get someone on your side.

@sandgrown

You may not know this but I have separated from my long term partner . We were not married and as not in mortgage I have to persue my share of the house through TOLATA. I have been told the judge may not look favourably if we don’t try mediation first . We have had a “round the table “ meeting with solicitors which was fruitless. Would that not count as an attempt at mediation? Trying to keep costs down. Thank you

Hi @sandgrown

I am not experienced enough in those sort of cases to comment on past experiences sorry!

@Bleughbleughbleugh12

I was suprised, family courts saw straight through my controlling ex and actually told him off, is this usually the case?

Yes - I have seen it a lot.

Judges are human too and know what goes on ha ha! I work with one female judge who is in her late 60's very well to do and quiet. We were sat on a case one day where the parents were clearly off their faces and she turned round in the middle of the case and asked them "what you taking today? Coke? Crack? Glue?" - the look on their faces when she asked was brilliant! Safe to say their 5 children were removed that night.

My partner has been hammered in the family courts for being rigid and not likeable. He comes across as evasive due to poor eye contact etc. The reality is that he scores high on the autistic spectrum. He is terrified of mentioning this though in case the courts completely stop his contact. Cafcass simply believe everything the mother says and ignore the children's wishes when they say they want to see more of their dad. Is he right about autism? It explains why he comes across so badly and my heart aches for him when I see all the hearings always going the mum's way because she comes across as timid and empathic. How do the courts view high functioning autism in parents, especially dads? DP has faired particularly badly as the hearings are online.

Looks like I killed the thread. Sorry.

Not at all @DrDetriment

I'll reply properly tomorrow if ok?

Thank you. I was worried I'd posted something inappropriate but I am concerned about him so any advice would be great.

Hi
Really interesting thread.
What sort of contact arrangement would you suggest for 4 year old, dad works fri/sat/sun mum flexible hours mon-fri, school is 0.5 miles from mum, 18 miles from dad (45-60 mins drive). Past 2 years 4/7 with mum.
Ive seen cafcass & awaiting court date. Trying to think of as many options as possible!

What safeguards do the courts have to stop a judge from altering the tape of a hearing please? Do judges have access to the hearing tape? I guess they do so they can replay it to write their judgement if they haven't given the judgement in the hearing? Does it mean they can also rerecord parts of it if they want to change what they said, tone it down if they thought they went over the top in some way? I am asking this because we got the transcript of our hearing and parts of it were re-ordered, key comments the judge made were missing and different things were in the transcript that I am certain were not said! I wondered whether if I was to complain is there any way that the court can tell if the judge has altered the hearing tape? I have been chasing the transcript company to ask for an explanation (e.g. whether they may have received the hearing tape in sections and possibly transcribed them in the wrong order) but because of lockdown I can only email them and they aren't replying! It still wouldn't explain why some things the judge said are missing and other things he didn't say are in the transcript though.

@DWPmisery1972

Nothing to ask but I just wanted to say that when I was in family court, the lady that sat in front of the judge (I’m sorry I don’t know what your job title was!) was so lovely to me, she was the one to guide me to the courtroom when it was time and she even had tissues on hand when I got upset (husband tried to kill me to emotional case), so thank you for all you do :) She really made me feel less nervous through the whole experience

The Clerk - that's what I do. I am glad you had a good experience - as good as it could be.

Yes as I am say facing the court it is very hard not to make eye contact & you have to keep an eye on everyone really incase they need something as often the Judge is busy writing. I also always introduce myself to all parties before the case so they know who I am and what is going to happen. If its a long case you can build a relationship with some of them as you are with them through a very emotive time in their lives.

I have tissues and hand sanitiser on my desk ha ha!

No, I want to minimise possible conflict infront of my child. I have at no point stopped contact between him and his Dad, I have merely said that in order to reduce the liklihood of conflict between myself and the aforementioned and conflict within my child, if his Dad can't collect him, I will drop him off. I've offered an alternative which I feel in the best interest of my son. He doesn't care how he gets there just so long as he does, he need only be aware that Daddy and his partner pick him up or mummy takes him.

@Sanchez79

OP if you're a clerk you obviously play a crucial role in the justice system and will no doubt be able to offer a fascinating insight into the culture of the courtroom, but you're in no way qualified to be commenting on legal aid, Cafcass, the judiciary's expertise in seeing through abusers etc.

Hi @Sanchez79

That is all I am doing offering an insight - I have stated several times I can only comment on MY experiences of the cases I have worked on & that I am not legally trained - far from it!

I have been asked my opinion on Legal Aid/Cafcass etc which I have given. This was only intended as a 'behind the scenes' type thread!

@Lochroy

OP, I'm just interested in the workings. Won't ask any qs on legal aid and stuff which I guess might not be what the OP came to post about.

OP, what's your background and how did you get into it? It sounds fascinating.

Hi @Lochroy

My background is far from court work - I have always worked in Event Management and then went on to be a Project Manager in IT. I was approached by a friend who has been a civil servant all her life as I was made redundant and she thought I would enjoy it.

So in terms of qualifications nothing specific is needed just confidence, organisational skills and being able to switch off and not show your feelings ha ha

@CursedBlessed

Hi there, I know I've missed this by a few days... This may not be the AMA that your looking for. But I really don't know where to begin, let alone which sort of legal person I should see for advice.

Close family is going through an issue with their parenting, relationship and the kids. I'm DA. It hasn't reached court YET, but I'm guessing it'll head there. Social workers are involved on both sides while they are trying to sort out whether parents are fit. I'm caught in the middle, tried to support dB and kids mum. It's constant back and forth between them clearly trying to twist family into sides. Both of their behaviour could be better.

In txt msg to the mum, I've replied based on stuff she's told me about dB and she's planning to use what I've said about dB based on stuff that she's told me he's supposedly done. He's sent similar messages saying stuff she's supposedly done. Caught in the middle trying to make them see sense. The pair of them keep this up and as far as I can see it- they'll both lose parental responsibility. It's not a good environment for the kids, hence social workers being involved and children are still on the at risk register.

As far as I can see there's emotional abuse, manipulation, and possibly physical abuse involved on both sides. My messages are solely based on stuff that she's told me and stuff he's done...he didn't play ball with her and now she's gone to see a family lawyer to use what I've said against him. Can she do this, especially since I'm only responding to the stuff that both of them are saying each other has supposedly done.
Can she use my messages based on her hearsay against my dB?
Should I get legal advice?

Sorry its long-haven't been on here for a while. Thanks!

Hiya @curedblessed

This sounds messy.

All I can say is I have seen bundles with lots of print outs of texts between parties used against each other - I think the lawyers have to get access. I also once witnessed a Judge ask to see both phones of parents in court as she didn't believe that she had been given the true picture (some had been deleted).

Hope it works out for the best.

@PresentingPercy

I’m not anything to do with this but - why get involved in writing? Just asking for trouble! Let social services deal with it. There will be better evidence than your ill judged responses. The children will be central to any case, not your musings.

@PresentingPercy

Not sure if this is aimed at me or not?

But as I keep saying I am literally doing an AMA based on my experiences and have answered questions based on that.

Of course children are and should always be central to the case!

@Sanchez79

Nicknamegoeshere, you are far from alone in not being able to secure legal aid. Despite some of the claims made here, it is well established that the DA exemptions are not working well. And I say that as somebody who in works in a fairly neutral role and gets to see the whole spectrum of public and private law work.

The OP in particular has completely misunderstood how legal aid works in the public law domain so please don't let that influence your thinking.

I based the answer I gave on what I had experienced - I am no way qualified to say how it works it is a case by case basis, Nickname should be able to get the advice she needs from speaking to the people in the know not posters on a forum.

@usedandabusedx1000

Would you be willing to answer a question personal to my case?! I actually feel like I am going completely and utterly insane and I don’t know where to turn to with my query....

I can try but it will be based on my experiences - if I have seen anything similar - obvs as many have pointed out I am not legally qualified :)

@DrDetriment

My partner has been hammered in the family courts for being rigid and not likeable. He comes across as evasive due to poor eye contact etc. The reality is that he scores high on the autistic spectrum. He is terrified of mentioning this though in case the courts completely stop his contact. Cafcass simply believe everything the mother says and ignore the children's wishes when they say they want to see more of their dad. Is he right about autism? It explains why he comes across so badly and my heart aches for him when I see all the hearings always going the mum's way because she comes across as timid and empathic. How do the courts view high functioning autism in parents, especially dads? DP has faired particularly badly as the hearings are online.

Hi @DrDetriment

Has he not mentioned this at all to his solicitor/cafcass etc?

It cannot be used against him but he does need to mention it if like you say they are saying he comes across evasive - he could mention it at the beginning of a hearing for example? Or ask to speak to the judge separately - may not be allowed but worth a try.