Mother not present at handover

[Twinny1111]

Does anyone know where we stand with this?

We have been having issues with my Partners daughter’s mother for a while with breaching the CAO and being generally controlling, everything on her terms etc.

My partners handover stopped at 7.30 this morning - either at the mothers in school holidays or dropped off at school in the morning.

My partner messaged the weekend and reminded her that she does not return back until Tuesday, this was on the latest newsletter the school sent over two weeks ago.

She sent a message saying that she will be going to work and will not be at home. (She had forgotten school doesn’t start up again until Tuesday). Partner reminded of her responsibility as per court order and on her time it is not his responsibility to make childcare arrangements, and that he will be there first thing in the morning for handover. She refused and said that she will be going to work and he will have to sort something out.

Mother was not present at handover. His has impacted my partners work, he is self employed.

Is this another breach of the court order on her terms? There is a history of her being very unreasonable throughout the course of the past two years regarding stuff like this and we have had enough of running around after her.

Agree this is the sort of thing that should be agreed in advance, not the night before. That’s like setting her up to fail tbh. School holiday arrangements should be made as soon as the school Calender is issued. I sit down every September and plan my year of work to accommodate school holidays. Isn’t that what most parents do?

What @Velvian said with bells on.

You come across very well op. My experience of court orders are that they rarely cover all eventualities so both parties do need to be able to work flexibly. The few that I’ve seen seem quite restrictive to the RP, whilst the NRP gets carte blanche to do as they wish with no consequences. Your options are to go back and forth to court for enforcement or to ignore.

Your DP and the child's mother need to be working together to achieve the best outcome for the child. That means:

1. Child safe, fed, feeling cared for and not feeling like a "nuisance" at all times - this is the most important thing;

and, only after 1), 2) child's mum able to work to pay her bills and provide a decent standard of living for the child; and 3) your DP able to work to pay his bills and provide a decent standard of living for the child.

2. and 3) are equal in importance. If the child's mum loses her job and becomes destitute, the child will suffer. Similarly, your DP needs to be enabled to work so he can have a decent standard of living and provide for the child when they are with him.

Finally, 4) what is "fair" to your DP or child's mum. This comes a long way behind considerations 1), 2) and 3) in importance.

The first question your DP should have been asking child's mum when he noticed the term dates was, "Ok, which one of us can arrange childcare the easiest with limited financial or professional impact?"

Like it or not, you're all on Team Child together. If you try to screw each other over, it's the child who will suffer.

I think your partner's attitude was appalling. The order doesn't mention inset days. She was with him on holiday so why did he assume that dealing with that inset day was just for her mother to deal with? I would have said that in the balance of the circumstances, it would actually
make sense that the order implied that she would be with him until returning to school.

I think his attitude that she wasn't her responsibility and just dumping her at her mum was very controlling.

Ultimate they are both in the wrong for not having discussed it in advance but he and you seem to think that it was all her problem and that she's the bad parent for not having sorted childcare.

Your partner sounds unreasonable. Poor child.

Doesn't it depend on the wording to know if it's a breach? Regardless, no Judge is going to care about this on its own. If arrangements aren't working then they will most likely be changed but it will be with the child's best interests in mind.

If the court order says handover Monday at 730 at school or home and the dad had not shown. How would everyone have reacted to the mother posting on here stating he had kept the child?

Yes 100% they need to work stuff out better. However if there are issues then I would say the dad followed the order and mother was in breach.

However they need to find a way to communicate things like this better.

If dad is taking this back to court yes I would list it as a breach.

@Enko IF the court order says that,,, but it doesn’t.

@Bleughbleughbleugh12
From ops post at 9:11...
The court order is very clear, doesn’t mention ‘inset days’ it’s either drop off at school or drop off first thing Monday morning of child is not at school.
the 7:30 came from the ops original post where it was mentioned so I made the assumption that 7.30 was the agreed time.

My partners handover stopped at 7.30 this morning - either at the mothers in school holidays or dropped off at school in the morning.

I will retract the time as I am not certain it is at that time, however, the rest of my post is still relevant. Pretty clear that the dad was to hand over the child. Had he not he attempted he would surely have been in breach of the order.

I will say I am not legally qualified and I do agree it would be better for the child if parents could work things out between them. However in this case that doesn't appear to be working.

OP has stated what the court arranged access says and yes .... DP to drop DC at school or back at Mums if no school.
DP complied with order. Mum didn't - and to the extent that she refused to take her own DC.
I can't come to any other conclusion than that it's the Mum that's in the wrong, not OP.
For future reference though, I would suggest getting a paper trail of reminders of school 'off' days so the Mum can't so easily renege on her responsibilities.

@Enko ok you were right if that is the case, with my experience of the courts though I’m very very suprised it says drop off to the mother if no school that is very specific, which they usually aren’t