Refusing (?disclaiming) Inheritance

[Nyoman]

Is it legal to do this? How does one go about it? I am no contact (20+ years) with my abusive mother who is about to die. Fairly sure I am named executor, and a beneficiary of her estate. I do not want to act as executor, nor do I want to receive anything from her estate. I do not want my children to receive anything either (they are not gillick competent, she does not know them, they do not know her).
She is in Scotland, I am over the border in England.
Any advice welcomed thank you!

You can pay my utility bill op!!
Seriously maybe a refuge would appreciate the money?

I do not want my children to receive anything either

^Not your choice to make. Why not accept it for their future. Why deny them this????

as your mother is in Scotland she can't disinherit you anywa;y you can however turn down your legal share I believe however you are entitled by law to a third of moveable assets ( shared between all children so if 2 of you , both get 16.66% if 3 just over 10% each etc)
the DWP have similar rules in Scotland and England about deprivation of assets though

You can decline to act as an executor
You can decline your entitlement without any need for anyone else to agree
You cannot decline for your children

Thank you.
@TeacupDrama I am fortunate not to be in receipt of any benefits or tax credits, so I don't need to worry about that.

How do you know you are named as executor or the contents of her will ?

Is it a lot of money? There is obviously a big history here but perhaps it would be a good idea to chat this through with a therapist or counsellor before you make any firm decisions.

Money is money at the end of the day. If it allows your DC a debt free university degree or a deposit on a house then that could be life changing for them. Obviously if you're loaded and could afford to do all these things for them anyway then great but if not I think it has to be worth chatting through with someone.

I wouldn't want to he an executor for anyone but if she has offensive views giving my inheritance to a liberal charity would make me happy. Or, the local hospice.

I hope this puts your mind at rest. I started a thread on this as well and it really helped me to know I can just turn it all down. Completely understand you wanting nothing.

I don't think you are being reasonable. For your own inheritance, absolutely donate it but you can't for your children, it's not your decision to make. It doesn't matter what you think of her, it's their "right" to have the money if they are named.

I totally get it but still... it just seems like such a waste. She will never ever know if you take the money or not. I think you should take it and do some good with it. Or maybe use it to invest in some therapy to help deal with the issues it sounds like she has caused you (and I'm honestly saying that with good intentions, I'm not trying to say you need help. But obv she did a number on you).

@Silenceofthebams I don't know. But as she still, after 20 years NC, tries to aggravate me, harrass me, and draw me back in (by turning up on my doorstep foiled that by moving twice in quick succession, by threatening legal action to get contact with my children that she has never met, by badmouthing me to people I've known all my life, by forcing siblings to be her flying monkeys etc) I am fairly sure she would name me executor just to control me and force me to pay her attention even after her death!

@Sunshinegirl82 I doubt there's any money, probably only debts, she was always terrible at money management tbh, but I do not want to be involved in any way.

@nibdedibble in solidarity

@combatbarbie yes, I accept IABU on that front.

@lovelove9 Thank you. I'm actually in a good place now, came to terms with it long ago. It was a hard journey though.

if there is no money in the estate executoras do not become liable for debts, debts die with a person, though the executor would be expected to settle any debts out of assets but once assets are gone no-one is personally liable
but you don't want the hassle so just turn the executor job down if you think it is just debt hassle

@TeacupDrama thank you