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Legal matters

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Refusing (?disclaiming) Inheritance

43 replies

Nyoman · 28/01/2020 23:10

Is it legal to do this? How does one go about it? I am no contact (20+ years) with my abusive mother who is about to die. Fairly sure I am named executor, and a beneficiary of her estate. I do not want to act as executor, nor do I want to receive anything from her estate. I do not want my children to receive anything either (they are not gillick competent, she does not know them, they do not know her).
She is in Scotland, I am over the border in England.
Any advice welcomed thank you!

OP posts:
YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 28/01/2020 23:12

Yes of course it's legal. Decline to be the executor if approached and decline to receive any funds. Flowers

TiddyTid · 28/01/2020 23:16

Deed of variation on the inheritance, must be done within 2 years of death and all beneficiaries need to agree.

Nyoman · 28/01/2020 23:33

Thank you both.
@TiddyTid - what if the other beneficiaries disagree? (High chance of that, just to be awkward!)

OP posts:
PickAChew · 28/01/2020 23:37

If they disagree to you not taking a share or taking control? Is that really that likely?

Nyoman · 28/01/2020 23:53

Thank you @TiddyTid

@PickAChew someone might, just to cause me problems...

OP posts:
PlanetoftheWood · 28/01/2020 23:54

Decline to be an executor and take the money and donate it to a charity of your choice. Easiest and cheapest way for everyone.

PlanetoftheWood · 28/01/2020 23:55

Preferably a charity your mother would disapprove of!

Nyoman · 28/01/2020 23:57

Children cannot agree to a deed of variation, so if my children are named they have to inherit.

OP posts:
Nyoman · 29/01/2020 00:00

@PlanetoftheWood Do you know any charities that fund IVF for LGB BAME people? Wink

OP posts:
ShippingNews · 29/01/2020 00:08

You can certainly decline to be an executor. And if you - or your children- are left anything, just donate it to charity . That way nobody can cause you any problems !

To decline to be executor, just see a solicitor and draw up a "deed of renunciation". The deed is lodged with the Probate Registry .That's it. If there is another executor, they will take over , and if you were the only one nominated, the courts will have to nominate an administrator.

ShippingNews · 29/01/2020 00:11

How about this one ? fertilitynetworkuk.org/same-sex-couples-online-fertility-group-launches/

Nyoman · 29/01/2020 00:15

Thank you @ShippingNews. Would it be a Family Law solicitor I would approach? Or is there another type of solicitor that handles estates/assets etc? clueless

OP posts:
Nyoman · 29/01/2020 00:16

Ha! Looks good

OP posts:
AlwaysCheddar · 29/01/2020 07:07

What about putting the money aside for kids university so it is funded?

Nyoman · 29/01/2020 07:24

I do not want anything from her, tainted by her.

OP posts:
TeacupDrama · 29/01/2020 07:29

You can't refuse if your children are named as beneficiaries but you can refuse for yourself

paw1977 · 29/01/2020 07:33

Hi op , I know of lawyer who will be able to advise , do you want me to PM you details

Nyoman · 29/01/2020 07:34

Thank you, that would be helpful

OP posts:
paw1977 · 29/01/2020 07:37

PM sent .

3ofusnot2 · 29/01/2020 08:54

You would absolutely not be able to disclaim your children's inheritance for them. The trustees for them (whoever ends up acting as executor usually unless stated differently in the Will) would hold their money for them until they are 18. The trustees may pay the monies over to you to hold for them until they are 18. If this happens and you do donate the money then your children would be able to sue you for breach of trust.

You are welcome to disclaim your inheritance and refuse the role of Executor but your children's money is theirs to do with as they please when they turn 18. If they turn 18 and say they don't want it they can either donate the money or disclaim it. It is not your choice to make though.

TeacupDrama · 29/01/2020 12:03

it all depds on the wording of the will if estate is for eaxample split 4 ways between OP and 3 siblings she can disclaim her share and role of executor however if will leaves 60% to be shared between OP and her 3 siblings and 40% to be shared equally among her grandchildren ( in that case it doesn't matter whether OP's child are specifically named as Ben and Mary or just called grandchildren ) then OP can't turn that down for them but it needs to be kept in trust for them until they are 18 and longed after wisely
I am not sure whether OP can turn down being trustee for her kids or not but she certainly can't turn down any money for them

informedisgood · 29/01/2020 12:37

@Nyoman hi I get that you don't want anything from your abusive mother.
I felt differently. I was not in the will (didnt expect to be) but claimed my legal rights (Scotland). Was a very simple process as the law is straightforward. Don't even need solicitor.
It was reimbursement of thousands of pounds of therapist's fees I'd paid over the years, to help me overcome the effects of having a violently narcissistic parent.

I personally would take - go a fab holiday...give to your children...

Nyoman · 29/01/2020 14:27

Hi @informedisgood Yes, I have read that the Scottish system is set up to prevent disinheritance, which I think is a good thing, and safeguards ordinary people that wouldn't have funds to fight for their rightful property.

I understand I cannot refuse my children's part, though she only knows about the eldest two.
If there is a will that just shares between her children, no mention of grandchildren, presumably then that is not an issue as my children would not be beneficiaries.

OP posts:
TeacupDrama · 29/01/2020 14:46

if it mentions no grandchildren it should be fine also it depends on the sum and whether you are already comfortable and secure financially.

if you are on benefits and the DWP found out by being informed by your siblings to be awkward that you had tuned it down you could be penalised for deprivation of assets, ie you would have had enough to come off benefits but chose not to; so if you are on benefits at all (that are means tested) you need to be very sure that it is not going to end up with your benefits being cut and you having even less money

I think if my mother had turned down £1000 on principle I wouldn't mind if I thought we had spent our whole childhood in poverty because she turned down £100,000 I might think differently