Aunt has died and her friend reluctant to leave her house

[JellyBook]

Our aunt died late November and she had a friend staying when she died. The friend lives overseas and doesn’t want to go (yet, she says).

Just getting a bit nervy about whether she will decide to stay even longer, and what problems that might cause. She has been left a lump sum in the will. The house and belongings are left to the estate to be sold and shared amongst various family members. Aunty leaves no spouse or children.

Do we have anything to worry about or should we just proceed with probate, sale of house and just tell her you need to make arrangements to leave?

The council tax position varies according to the rules of individual councils. My father’s council gave us 12 months free pending sale. My aunts property was in a different council area and only 1 free month was allowed.

Definitely don't let her pay any bills and surely you aren't paying for utilities still? We had them out as soon as parents had died and we'd cleared the house.

I think I would just have all the utilities disconnected and start removing all the furniture in preparation for house sale. I imagine she'll leave soon enough.

I'd just politely say that you've all had enough time to grieve now and need to get on with the house clearance for probate.

And say that you will be starting at the end of the month, and utilities will be disconnected.

Unfortunately ‘nice’ people can become difficult when money is involved.
I have been through the same experience with my uncle’s property.
He had a companion had been with him for a year.
He left her a huge amount of money in the will, but left the house to his children and grandchildren.
His companion ( who has always been friendly) then decided that she didn’t want to leave the house because it was her home.
She even changed the locks to the house.
Eventually, my cousins had to consult lawyers to get her out.

Start clearing out. Start with the living room and kitchen so it's harder for her to stay. Or get a charity round to discuss what furniture can be reused and the arrange a collection date. Stop making it convenient she's taking the piss.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I came on to say what about her helping herself to valuables, but I see several have beaten me to it.

You could maybe open the conversation by asking when their flight is and take it from there. If it's in a couple of days, no problem. If it's over a week then simply says they can't stay at the house for that long and can they make alternative arrangements.

Good luck!

I would arrive at the house unannounced and start bagging things up/chucking things out (and surreptitiously check for anything missing). Engage her in conversation about her plans to leave - she must have had a plan to go home at some point when visiting your aunt. Make it a fait accompli “when are your flights booked?”, not “have you got plans to go home?”. Also something along the lines of “well, the house clearance people are booked to come in on 23rd Jan so we really need to get clearing up”.

Using the house as a base to visit friends is downright cheeky. If these friends need visiting so much, she can jolly well go and stay with them. It’s nearly two months now!!

I have vague memories of an elderly great-aunt passing the care home she lived in locked up her room. Only the executors were allowed access. It's really not usual for people to stay in a house that isn't there's after someone dies She is massively chancing it.
Whoever is the executor of the estate should have been dealing with this in early December and needs to step up very quickly.

How long the friend planning at your aunts house if your aunt was still alive? Was she using it as a base then, or stopping over en route to other friends?

If she had exceeded her original plans, ie. was only staying until mid December, then she being a cf.

If she had intended to be based there until March, then maybe less so.

However, I do think that the fact your aunt has died, and there’s been no discussion from her how long she intends to stay is a little odd. Surely the death would significantly alter your plans.

Someone in the family - move into the house and start packing everything up. Stay there.

Just give her a date 2 weeks from now and say she needs to be gone as you need to proceed with the sale and you need it to be vacant for probate as it's an estate sale ... enough legal bits to make it seem it's not you, it's the rules!

Sounds like you've found your very own CF to deal with. Give her a week to be out.

I don’t get why she has been there so long. If your aunt passed away in November I get the guest wanting to stay a bit longer and I’d understand given a death wasn’t planned for, but it’s been months now. If it was me I’d have sorted out leaving the house pretty soon, I get maybe not that day or even the next but definitely gone in under a week. It’s very weird. Definitely seek legal advice though. I’m curious as to what happens next, keep us posted op.

Before I had to deal with CF tennants and solicitors and wills I would have said treat her with kindness and let her stay and grieve etc.

Now I say give her 2 weeks notice of a house clearance which will include all beds and get her out asap.

Your aunt obviously had an up to date will as she left her some money IF she had wanted her friend to start in the house it would be written in the will.

Kind but VERY firm is the way forward.

I mean, what could possibly go wrong with throwing an elderly person out onto the streets in mid winter, maybe spare her one of the aunts old coats to keep her going?

Why would she be on the streets? You know nothing about her circumstances, @jasjas1973, and presumably at the very least she has a return ticket to go back home.

I’d give her notice of a house clearance and install one of the executors in the house for the duration of the notice to prevent her removing anything.

The house will remain empty for the next several months, at least until probate is granted, it cannot be marketed yet..... what harm does it do to let her Aunts friend stay there for an extra month or two

She's already been there "a month or two". How much longer is this supposed to continue?

Whilst she is there the executors are in breach of their duty to the beneficiaries, because she is running up bills that will have to be paid by the estate and, as a minimum, will cause extra wear and tear on the property; also the executors have no means of knowing whether she is looking after the chattels properly. If they are letting out the property pending probate, it needs to be via a properly drawn-up agreement including provision for rent, but it would be very unwise to do anything that gives her any sort of legal status.

Only the executor has rights to the property now. If the friend was not listed as resident of any kinds, she has no legal right to be their. I believe the property, along with everything else belongs to the estate. She could also be taking what she wants from the house which is legal property of the estate too. She cannot legally reside in the house unless the executor says so

She's being really inconsiderate making things more difficult for your grieving family than they already are. I don't think you should worry too much about being rude.

This ^

Change the locks, cut off the utilities, drain down the heating system and get a clearance company in ASAP or you’ll never get rid of her and it will cost you time and emotional energy.

She's acting as being 'helpful' to enable her to stay. She's taking the piss and she has a real cheek. State firmly that she needs to leave.

As long as you don't take any rent, you should be fine. She has no legal right to be there, is start probate which can take ages at the best of times, and put in writing that she has to leave by X date . How generous you are with that is up to you.

If you accept rent, you create a tenancy

• there, not their

Agree with previous poster about cutting off utilities. She is a cheeky f***!!
Best of luck OP. Sorry about your aunt

She arrived about 3 weeks before my aunt died.

They met through work many years ago, aunt went to her home country and she to the UK several times over the years, seemed to have little contact for a spell of about 20 years. Both had other friends in each other's countries, again through work and contacts/visits over the years.

Aunt was married but no children, uncle died some 15 years ago, the friend has visited more frequently since, about twice a year. All mid 70's.

We've been in contact with the solicitor dealing with the will/probate/estate. We chose him because he dealt with the will. He says the friend made enquiries before aunt's death about power of attorney but can't say much more than that, just that the POA wasn't successful as aunt was too ill (dementia) to put anything in place.

I now think the friend might be just trying her luck, but in reality doesn't have a claim.

We still do have empathy of course, but we are grieving too and want/must do right for all the beneficiaries - of which there are many!