Ex is contesting non molestation order

[margherita5]

He's denied all of his abuse and has made up lies about me. I'm so tired and feel like giving up. Has anyone ever had their ex contest their non molestation order and have it removed? I'm desperate for it to stay in place. I don't have a massive amount of evidence but I do feel like I have some fairly damning text messages which discuss his past behaviour. He's admitted to some things that he's denied in the letter.

I'm exhausted. I just want my abuser to leave me alone 😥

Sorry I meant to post this in legal!

I have no experience or advice, sorry. But I do think that if you give up, that's not the end of it, it's the start. Are you connected with any women's services?

I suspect the magistrates will have heard it all before and will know that denying abuse is what abusers do. It's almost a circular argument he's got himself into... If he's not abusive the respectful thing to do is not challenge the order. But he is, which is a sign of abuse.

Try not to worry. Easier said than done I know. But the courts aren't stupid. They know all their tricks.

@MrsTerryPratchett I was but I fled 200 miles and am trying to reconnect locally. They aren't returning my call.

He's put in the letter that I conditioned him in to thinking he had anger issues. Just. I have no words!

Thanks @codemonkey - he's really something else. He's so convincing that I'm scared I'm going to be failed. His solicitor is really good too and I'm not represented.

I conditioned him in to thinking he had anger issues

Sigh. They'll have seen this sort of reasoning a thousand times. Abusers always deny responsibility for their actions. It's laughable. From the outside. Miserable when you're in the end of it. But honestly, it's text book abuser shite. The nasty woman made me!

Definitely get the support of women's aid or similar. It will hugely help.

Awful isn't it @codemonkey - I wouldn't even know how to condition someone in to thinking that. I'm so tired. I really hope the courts see through it.

I feel so sick knowing I'm going to be picked apart in court. 😥

I think it looks abusive and angry to appeal a non molestation order.
Like, you don't want him to contact you or approach you. Your pretogative even if he were lovely.

Goid luck. My own x is a professional victim. He is always the injured party.

Do you have kids?

Why would he care that you have a non-mil if you're 200 miles away?

I think the court will see right through him!

Yes @honeygirlz we have 1 baby together. I'm so scared to face him again.

I was a mess at the first hearing. I sobbed through the whole thing.

@margherita5

Sorry I meant to post this in legal!

We're moving this thread over to our Legal Matters topic, as requested.

Sending good wishes, OP

Thank you @JoMumsnet x

@Maximus01 if the abuse was bad then you should have police reports etc which will back up your statement.

That is awful logic. What about women who were too scared to go to the police? They don't deserve protection?

@Maximus01 I've been to the police. There's been a MARAC meeting. It's all documented. There was no physical evidence and all based on text message conversations where he hasn't denied doing certain things. He's admitted to a lot of awful things too.

My son needs protecting from HIM.

@Maximus01 of course he's my son. Just like my brother is my brother and my mother is my mother. How else would you like me to say it? Should I say 'oh hi, nice to see you again, this is our son'?

I would quite like him to stop harassing me, my family, destroying my property, a whole heap of things. Is that ok?

You honestly sound like my abuser.

Yes my ex is defending my non mol. Feel free to pm me.

I suggest you ignore poster who clearly has their own axe to grind.

This sounds such a difficult situation.
I hope a good family lawyer like @MrsBertBibby will have some advice for you.