Will I look like a liar

[toatsconfused]

So I made my final statement, my solicitor exchange with my ex. My ex only exchange a statement for Cafcass only, very brief. My solicitor has said to my ex that that is the only statement he can submit and needs to send it to court. My solicitor has told him that if he submit a further with evidence to court or me that they will ask the courts to have it removed.
My concern is that he has proof that parts of my statement aren't truthful. That he had contact when I thought he hadn't. And he has emails that look as if I prevented phone contact.
If my solicitor does asked for his statement to be removed will the judge read it first? Will I look worse for trying to stop him showing it?
Most his contact was supervised with myself and I believe it should carry on being supervised but he won't agree and can show occasionally it wasn't. Dd is 5. I am waiting for the section 7 to be done before I agree to anything other than unsupervised.

Also can he show the evidence at his meeting with Cafcass? I'm worried that I may look like I preventing contact when I just want the best for dd

Just to say again that is why I have representation because they can put my concerns across better. It may seem that it's just a bit of chocolate, but it's messes with dd behaviour and not helping dd live a healthy life

So you think it will be fine because your solicitor is essentially going to try and bury the information that proves it's a lie.

That's really best for your child?

He has proof.

A some chocolate doesnt make him a bad parent. Especially by family court standards.

Your daughter will still get Christmas with her half sister. Perhaps just not every Christmas.

You need to understand that he is her parent as much as you are. Your solicitor doesnt sound great. She has no idea if she can get his statement struck off. She is essentially trying to not let him have his say. The family courts may not view that kindly.

Maybe your dogs children might feel sore about not spending Christmas with him yet your kids do

From what you gave put I would fully expect a judge to order unsupervised contact and probably an overnight if that's what your ex suggests. Your dd has a right to get to know her other family.

If OP has a solicitor specialised in family law, I don't believe the position she is putting forward here as being the advice of the solicitor.

Family solicitors are always about resolution, finding practical, workable solutions to ensure that the best interests of the child are met. Of course they take instructions from their clients, but they don't just do things that are wrong to satisfy their client's position. 'Bury the statement'...no, the solicitor can ask the court to disregard it as it wasn't filed on time, but the decision is the court's, not the solicitors.

If it comes down to a contested final hearing, your ex WILL be allowed to ask you questions, if not by himself, then certainly via the judge/magistrates.

I think you should go and speak to your solicitor again and try harder to understand what it is you are being advised, because your representation of what you've been told here seems rather skewed.

Incidentally, a lawyer's first duty is to the court - they cannot mislead or misdirect the court simply because their client wants them to.

you’d likely have to share Christmas. Especially if he requests it. Either splitting the day or alternating every year NY and Christmas.

I think the OP needs to understand that in court. Her new family is no more important than her exs new family.

And that lying and trying to have statements hidden because they prove lying, isnt going to help her at all.

I like the pp above dont believe the ops has interpreted her solicitors advice correctly. Or the solicitor is a bit dodgy.

My solicitor obviously doesn't do it in a way that goes against court but they are very helpful in putting my needs and dd first. They understand that my ex needs to work on his relationship very carefully and can't be expected to just get what he wants.
My ex requested Father's Day due to having had contact recently eo Sunday but solicitor stated that his work schedule said he was unavailable so he wasn't able to. Ex now says he has holiday booked but I've made plans so he can't have that day. Plus it's not fair on dd and my dp and lo it's there first Father's Day. Yes my ex has rights but at the end of the day it's me and my dp there everyday.

So I haven't misunderstood anything, I was just originally concerned that I would look bad and if the judge would read the statement before it got chucked out.
I

I'm sorry but I think you're completely wrong to keep her away on Father's Day.

This year is my DH first Father's Day and my elder DS is going to his dads for lunch then coming back To us because he is HIS dad and has the right to see him. My DH perfectly respects this and knows he'll have some time with his step son later.

Your attitude is frankly shocking and I hope you get a rude awaking in court. Your actions are in your best interest not your daughters at all. You reasons are frankly complete and utter rubbish for withholding contact and you've lied to cover your tracks

Your solicitor and the whole hearing is set up for the childs needs.

Not your needs and not your opinion on your childs needs

Its absolutely wrong that you think it being your partners first fathers day trumps yours exs request.

Your partner is not your first child father.

You have kids with 2 men. They wont always be there for everything that you want them to be.

This will bite you on the arse next mothers day.

Theres no guarantee it will be chucked out.

Oh and yes the judge probably will read it to make a decision in wether to leave it out of not.

I can imagine that when he/she realises you are liar, they will choose to keep it in.

Criminal barrister with many close friends at the family bar here. Good so many are saying get advice from your own solicitor. There’s been good advice here but without full Info and context it’s possibly meaningless. At the very least any dishonesty will be seen as troubling. Welfare of kids paramount and lying is not a good start on that assessment. Talk to your solicitor. Good luck op.

Wow...just wow!
You are crazy! It's not about your needs! It's about your DD and her Dad. Your reasoning behind not letting him see her on Fathers Day makes you look unhinged! Your DD has nothing to do with your DP, that's not her Dad! Let her spend time with her real dad!
I hope you get found out in court as the lyer that you are. You have purposefully mislead the court and I hope you ex gets regular contact with his child outside of a supervised environment

Well I hope his is lawyer/barrister is as good as yours, if not better.

You Lied on purpose for your own ends, not your DD your own.

I hope he can prove you are a liar in court and you have some comeuppance. Your dd deserve a relationship with her father.

It's funny how you can have a 'new partner and family' but it's wrong for him to do the same.

It may seem that it's just a bit of chocolate, but it's messes with dd behaviour and not helping dd live a healthy life No it doesn't your DD just excited at being allowed to see her dad.

Plus it's not fair on dd and my dp and lo it's there first Father's Day. Yes my ex has rights but at the end of the day it's me and my dp there everyday. Yes because YOU won't him have a relationship with his dd. AND yes it's father day for your LO and her dad but he is not and never will be YOUR dd DAD.

OP, if you carry on like this and make decisions like you did about Father's Day you will lose your DD when she is older. You need to put her actual needs first - not what you think are her needs. Emotional damage done to children is far more damaging than things like feeding a child too much chocolate.

@Shequakes my dp may not be her real father but she sees him as, he's the one who supports her and has been there for over 2 years. She calls him daddy and I may have two dc by two different dads but I didn't know how useless my ex was until it was too late.
Dp is a great dad to dd, our lo and his 3. He is the one who deserves Father's Day, he's a real father.

To the other pp thank you for your advice and words of wisdom but I know what's best, I am her mother and primary care giver.
As I said before when all this court stuff started I was heavily pregnant and now have a lo so I don't think the judge will be to concern with dates and it was a simple mistake.
I will follow the order for my dd and hope my ex understands that I only want the best for dd so he has to continue showing me that otherwise

I don't think that pregnancy is a get out of jail free card for lying to the court, OP - you gambled and you lost.

Now you will just need to abide by whatever the court orders, but you have made yourself look (even) worse by being obstructive over access.

Hope it all works out for your daughter.

But he doesn't have to prove himself to you

my dp may not be her real father but she sees him as, he's the one who supports her and has been there for over 2 years. She calls him daddy and I may have two dc by two different dads but I didn't know how useless my ex was until it was too late.

It's quite clear you have done lots to block contact.

Your DP isnt her real father and you are doing her a huge disservice by carrying in as though he is. It's not up to you to decide who deserves father day

What if mothers day falls on the exs day next year and he decides you dont deserve mothers day?

You do realise that even if the statement is ignored by the court. Your ex will have copies of everything to prove to his daughter, what really happened when she is older. That's you refused to let him see her on fathers days, refuse access for no other reason that you just want to, that you lied in court papers

What do you think that will do to her and your relationship with her?

It's quite clear you are not acting in her best interests.

I dont judge you for have kids by 2 men. However, not all being together for every occasion is a consquence of having kids with more than one man. It's just how it is.

Your family is no more important that your exs.

If you think the judge wont be concerned that you lied in court papers because you were pregnant, you are naive. You are essentially saying pregnancy made you have no concept of time or made you make decisions to lie that negatively impacted your daughter.

Did pregnancy make you into a liar or someone that has no concept of time? If you lied or got confused about that when pregnant, who is to say anything else you have wrote is correct?

The ex simply needs to document everything and when your child is older it could cause a huge rift between you.

Op he has rights as a father, you don't get to remove these and you don't get to lie, it will go against you. His solicitor will make sure the judge knows.

He also doesn't have to prove anything to you. Nor does he have to parent as you do. He has rights as a father,

Your life, and that of your daughters, will be a shit lot easier if you accept that. And before the court makes you accept it.

OP: I’m not sure you have the insight to realise it, but you are most definitely coming across as the villain here. The more you post, the more sorry I feel for your ex.

Please accept that, whatever you call your DP, your ex is actually your DD’s father. And she deserves to have the best possible relationship with him, and her family, which includes her father’s other child. Properly getting your head around this is absolutely crucial.