Will I look like a liar

[toatsconfused]

So I made my final statement, my solicitor exchange with my ex. My ex only exchange a statement for Cafcass only, very brief. My solicitor has said to my ex that that is the only statement he can submit and needs to send it to court. My solicitor has told him that if he submit a further with evidence to court or me that they will ask the courts to have it removed.
My concern is that he has proof that parts of my statement aren't truthful. That he had contact when I thought he hadn't. And he has emails that look as if I prevented phone contact.
If my solicitor does asked for his statement to be removed will the judge read it first? Will I look worse for trying to stop him showing it?
Most his contact was supervised with myself and I believe it should carry on being supervised but he won't agree and can show occasionally it wasn't. Dd is 5. I am waiting for the section 7 to be done before I agree to anything other than unsupervised.

Also can he show the evidence at his meeting with Cafcass? I'm worried that I may look like I preventing contact when I just want the best for dd

Listen, your new partner is not your child's father. You need to let your daughter have contact with her father, it is a basic need of children to know where they came from. If he lets her down you need to be there to pick up the pieces but you don't stop her in the first place unless he is a danger to her.

I have a mother who prevented me from seeing my father and forced me to agree to being adopted by my stepfather. I bitterly resented it and left home as early as I could. My father was not a great dad when I was little but he is a lovely dad now and has tried to make up for the things he did wrong. I have not spoken to my mother in 13 years because she put her wants before my needs.

The judge agreed for him to have supported until the section 7 is done so I will wait.
My concern are that he doesn't care what food he gives dd, she comes back with candy floss and chocolate and he won't stop.
He doesn't care about how dd with deal with meeting his new baby, he doesn't listen to me. I don't think he has enough room at his house for dd. He just wants he gf to be there.
If he won't listen to me how am I meant to trust him? He's had no part in her schooling or anything.

Have you taken advice on whether those are good enough reasons to require a contact centre?

My understanding is that usually the courts take the view that each parent parents on their own time, in their own way, unless the child is being abused/neglected.

I'm not sure that your reasons will be enough to insist on a contact centre, nor your belief that he doesn't have time for your daughter because he has a new family now.

This is why I have a solicitor, I'm not very good at explaining myself, sorry for that.
He broke my trust and that's why I stopped him taking dd own his own. I said he could come round he said no. That he was taking me to court. Then for the next few months he keep messaging for us to come to an agreement outside court and that's when I said it had to start at the contact centre. With mediation and him delaying its was a while before we went back to court. He's always trying to agree out of court which I don't trust.
That's why I started this post, I thought he wanted to agree out of court because he was scared of being shown he's a neglectful dad.

@AnchorDownDeepBreath
He's already attended the contact centre and has supported contact until the section 7 report is done because of my statement.
But my issue is that he has some pictures to show that I may of made some mistakes or exaggerated the truth a little.

What is the actual reason you want to control where and when he can see his daughter?
If no medical concerns with him and the contact centre said he has a good relationship with his daughter and he has been shown to want contact with her, then what is the actual problem with him?

As from an outside point of view it seems as though your are jealous that he has a new partner and child, and you don't want to think of her being part of his new family, you only want her to be part of your own, because in regards to him giving her candy floss plenty of parents treat there children to this so I really can't see it being neglect unless she has severe dental problems or is overweight.
Add to that the fact you have confused 3 months of contact and 3 weeks of contact, unless you come up with an actual reason which means it is in your daughters best interest not to see her father then I genuinely think the court will grant him access.

Are there hinges that may have accidentally got exaggerated besides how long he went without contact?

Things*

I may of made some mistakes or exaggerated the truth a little

He has proof that you have lied in your statement. Not made mistakes or exaggerated a little: lied.

You need to ask your solicitor about this, op, as at the moment, from what you have said here, you've come across as untruthful, obstructive and manipulative about contact, and court tends to take a very dim view of this.

Just bear in mind that if a load of internet randoms can see the massive holes in your interpretation of the current situation, an experienced judge and courtroom will too.

I will let him have contact but my dd safety has to come first, he won't tell me what he's feed her, so communicate doesn't work and he dropped her when she was 1 because he doesn't know how to parent.

He doesnt have to tell you what he has fed her. Or introduce your child to his other child in a way that you say he must.

And plenty of very good parents have dropped their kids by accident (though given the fact that you admit to exaggerating I wonder how true this is).

Nothing have you have said suggests he is a danger or even crappy parent.

What is coming across is that you dont want him around and if he is you think he just parent in the way you tell him. Which isnt going to happen.

Thank you for your input, from some of the things said that's what I have been worried about but my solicitor tells me not to be.

I didn't want to make things look worse by preventing his statement because then the judge may believe it's truthful.
I just thought he would leave us alone, he did for a while but said that was only due to me causing him low moods because I stop contact and pull him up on his parenting mistakes. He's caused me years of stress.

That's why I requested a MH letter but it came back that he had had issues but he's not an ongoing danger.
I don't mind him having contact but supported, and then he can learn how to look after dd properly, he needs to listen to me, I know what she needs. Not just full her up with shit food eow and play.
He wants to rush it all

He really doesnt need to listen to you.

He can disagree with you parenting style. Co parenting is hard.

But having him assessed to stop access because he has suffered with a low mood.

Do you really feel people with depression shouldnt have kids?

You need to understand this isnt about you and what you want.

Also I cant believe you can just have a statement removed because it shows you lied.

Are you happy for him to pull you up on your parenting mistakes?

Honestly what I'm getting from your posts is you want him to conveniently go away so you and your new DP can play happy families without him having a part in his child's life.

You keep saying until he learns how to look after your DD properly but to be perfectly honest on his time he can feed her what he wants and introduce her to who he wants. As long as he's not abusing her or neglecting her or failing to safe guard her then you haven't really got a proper reason for supervised contact.

He has tried to say I do things wrong and I've clearly told him he's out of order due to the fact I have dd all the time plus he's a compulsive liar, lied through our whole relationship and cheated on my when I was pregnant with dd. It's hard to explain on here but he isn't the victim.

Well I'll have to just wait for the Cafcass report but even then do I have to allow contact?
Plus I can I been made to split (Christmas) holidays because that's not fair on my other dd.

If he gets regular access, yes Christmas may be split.

What do you mean that's not fair on your other dd? That's got nothing to do with it.

You cant say he must listen and parent like you, but he doesnt get a say in how you parent.

And with all due respect, you have lied. You can say he is a liar. But he can back up everything he is saying and prove you to be a liar. So who do you think a judge would believe?

This isn't about you though. I can well believe he was a shit to you and has been a crap dad at times but that doesn't take away your daughter's right to have the chance of a relationship with him. Her genes are half his and she will feel that pull, particularly as she gets into her teens. If you stop her it will backfire on you in the long-term. If you let her have access to him then she will eventually see what he is. If he is as bad as you say he will eventually fuck up but you don't have proof he is a danger to her in any way so you need to just suck it up for now.

My exh lied for 4 years and nobody checked!

Sounds like you’re using your Dd to get back at him for cheating on you to be honest. The courts will have seen this scenario a thousand times over.

Too much chocolate and not doing as you tell him is no reason to withhold contact or to have it supervised. Trust me as a mother with an ex who is a complete Disney dad.

Stop using your daughter as a pawn, your relationship with her with suffer, she won’t thank you for it.

If this wasn't the area of law I practice in, I would read threads like this and think the OP was making things up as they went along (there have been several threads like this over the past few days).

My initial post stands, it is very unlikely that the court will refuse to take your ex's statement. Your solicitor is certainly right that she can challenge its admittance, but if your ex is a litigant in person, the court will almost certainly allow it, to ensure that your ex feels that he had a fair hearing (a human right).

You are clearly concerned because you know that you lied in your statement, and his further statement and evidence will prove that. That doesn't look good for you. You claim he is a neglectful parent, but the evidence from contact is showing that he has a good relationship with the child and that she enjoys the contact. It is likely that the s7 report will support ongoing contact, probably in the community, perhaps overnight (depending on the age of your child), and this may or may not be over a phased period of time so that your child can get used to it.

This is not about you 'letting/allowing him have contact', the court will make the order and you will have to follow it or face possible sanctions - and if you keep ignoring the court order or obstructing contact then the courts can ultimately change residence of your child. Your solicitor should have told you all this. Your solicitor should also have told you that lying in a witness statement will not bode well for you.

The court can order whatever it likes at this juncture, though the usual outcome is every other weekend, a day in the other week and half the holidays - with all special events shared 50/50. If he asks for alternate Christmases, it is likely he will get them. You say that would be unfair on your other daughter - well, he has a child with someone else, so it would be unfair on that child if they never got to spend Christmas with their older sibling. It works both ways.

I don't mind him having contact but supported, and then he can learn how to look after dd properly, he needs to listen to me, I know what she needs.

What you really need to recognise is that you are not the boss of him. Your DD has 2 parents and your preferences do not trump his.

Tbh, from reading this thread, I actually feel very sorry for him. It really does sound like you’re a controlling nightmare who has actively prevented him from seeing his daughter - for years. This will likely have had a dreadful effect on his mental health. You’ve now lied to get her own way but now you’re unhappy that the contact centre says he’s a good parent with a positive relationship (and he’s got evidence of your lies and manipulation).

Based on what you’ve communicated on this thread, the Cafcass report may not show you in a positive light at all.

I know it doesn't look good, but he did stop contact for 8 months before this went to court. If he just agreed in them 8 months to have contact at a contact centre none of this would be a issue. But he wouldn't and now he's acting as if I've prevented it. I just don't trust that he has enough time for his new family, work and my dd.

Honestly, this very much reads as you preventing contact for 8 months because he wanted unsupervised contact.

Please come to terms with the fact that your ex is entitled to parent his daughter in his own way. And he’s entitled to include her in family activities with his partner and younger child. She’s got a right to that part of her family life too.

I don't mind him having contact but supported, and then he can learn how to look after dd properly, he needs to listen to me, I know what she needs.

What you really need to recognise is that you are not the boss of him. Your DD has 2 parents and your preferences do not trump his.

Tbh, from reading this thread, I actually feel very sorry for him. It really does sound like you’re a controlling nightmare who has actively prevented him from seeing his daughter - for years. This will likely have had a dreadful effect on his mental health. You’ve now lied to get her own way but now you’re unhappy that the contact centre says he’s a good parent with a positive relationship (and he’s got evidence of your lies and manipulation).

Based on what you’ve communicated on this thread, the Cafcass report may not show you in a positive light at all.

I know it doesn't look good, but he did stop contact for 8 months before this went to court. If he just agreed in them 8 months to have contact at a contact centre none of this would be a issue. But he wouldn't and now he's acting as if I've prevented it. I just don't trust that he has enough time for his new family, work and my dd.

Honestly, this very much reads as you preventing contact for 8 months because he wanted unsupervised contact.

Please come to terms with the fact that your ex is entitled to parent his daughter in his own way. And he’s entitled to include her in family activities with his partner and younger child. She’s got a right to that part of her family life too.

I split Christmas with my ex. I have 1 other kid and another on the way. They will grow up understanding because that's just the situation.

Your reasons don't stand up at all for a legitimate reason to stop contact, enforce rules or supervised contact. My ex is a liar and controlling but how he parents DS on his own time is his business. He has the right to parent and he in his DS life and it sounds like your ex does too

You've lied and will be found out. Honestly you've made the situation worse for yourself. You will now look like a liar and have undermined your life on credibility

Well I'll just wait and see. He has to prove that the dates were wrong and my solicitor told me not to worry that she will get it struck out and when it comes to the final hearing he won't get a chance to ask me anything.

I Understand what pp have said but dd is my first and my ex is difficult and just wants what he wants.
With holidays, my dd lives with her sibling so their relationship is stronger his dc hasn't even met her yet. My dp dc don't spend Christmas with us they spend it with their mum.