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Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

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Original poster

Anyone else divorced after a year? - financial split

26 replies

entersandman1 · 05/02/2019 14:34

I was hoping that anyone else who has been in the same position as me could share their experiences. I was married for just over a year (controlling and coercive behaviour started within about a month of getting married).
I wanted to ask what happened with the finances for anyone else who had a very short marriage where they already owned their house and the spouse brought nothing financially to the marriage and our money was all kept separate. My STBXH is demanding money from me or he won't sign the consent order. I am on a very low income (under £12,000 a year, he earns about £35,000) and I'm not actually able to pay him anything or take out a loan. Would be very grateful to hear of anyone else's experiences

OP posts:
Original poster
entersandman1 · 05/02/2019 17:31

Anyone?

OP posts:
donajimena · 05/02/2019 17:34

What is he asking for?

NoArmaniNoPunani · 05/02/2019 17:36

You really need to see a solicitor. I doubt he'd be entitled to anything after a short marriage with no children

Singlenotsingle · 05/02/2019 17:40

He might be entitled to something but it wouldn't be much. You can't pay him so what's he going to do?

lavalampoon · 05/02/2019 17:51

He's asking for £50,000. My solicitor says if I can't borrow it from somewhere (not a possibility) it won't get resolved and that it would cost a fortune to go to court. I just wondered if anyone else had experience of divorce after a very short marriage like this.

FinallyHere · 05/02/2019 17:54

Sorry to read this

I think you need a different solicitor. It might seem like money down tbe drain, but honestly, find a solicitor who knows tbeir wa6 around and has your back. Totally worth it.

Original poster
entersandman1 · 05/02/2019 21:39

Thank you to everyone who has replied. I just don't know what to do - how can I get it through to him that I can't afford to pay him anything anyway so he will stop this. My bank statements weren't good enough for him

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 05/02/2019 22:35

He's probably hoping you'll sell the house. Would it work if you just tell him you'll wait the full five years and get a divorce on the grounds of 5 years separation without his consent?

Grace212 · 05/02/2019 22:40

OP I am not an expert but from a couple of friends' cases, I can't see how he can claim any money after a year.

one case, my friend was married for 5 years and the guy moved into her house, then demanded money from the divorce.

unfortunately she saw 2 solicitors who must have been shite, because they went round in circles for ages and then the final ruling was that he could only take money to compensate for his mortgage contributions and anything for the increased value of the property over the 5 year period. That was unfortunate - being a London flat - but after a year, in this market, I imagine that won't affect you.

I think he's trying it on. My friend's ex did the same - constant demands and intimidation but the law ultimately didn't agree that he had any rights for the amount he was demanding.

Grace212 · 05/02/2019 22:41

don't extend the marriage - that might cost you more in the long run. After a year I would really think he would just be told to take back whatever he put in.

Moanranger · 05/02/2019 23:25

Sounds like you are getting bad legal advice. He should really get very little -£50k, no way! I used a Makenzie friend,not a lawyer, it cost me £1500 all in, so you do not actually need to pay lots of legal fees. A judge would find in your favour. He courts will be your friend, don’t be intimidated.

Moanranger · 05/02/2019 23:25

The courts

Grace212 · 05/02/2019 23:31

oh and don't show him any more bank statements

my friend also delayed because she wanted to avoid court but the judge was quite stunned by the exH demands.

Grace212 · 05/02/2019 23:32

also, maybe ask MN to transfer this to the Legal Board, that might help with resources etc.

RandomMess · 05/02/2019 23:33

Did you live together before getting married? Co-habitation directly before marriage will be considered as lengthening the marriage.

I hope he gets nothing!

Rtmhwales · 05/02/2019 23:35

I'm getting divorced from STBXH and he has substantial assets and I had very little. The marriage produced a child after we split up (within a year of marriage). My solicitor and his have both advised I'm entitled to nothing financially except CM. What consent order are you talking about? Just file for unreasonable behavior and get a new solicitor. Don't drag this out.

Palaver1 · 06/02/2019 06:23

Please look to getting better representation

puguin86 · 06/02/2019 06:32

Unless you cohabitated for 10 years or so prior to the marriage he should get v little !!!! Don't drag it out as pp have said. Get different representation!

MNHQ
AnyaMumsnet · 06/02/2019 11:08

Hi there all,

We're moving this to Legal Matters at OP's request.

Original poster
entersandman1 · 06/02/2019 12:02

@AnyaMumsnet - thank you very much for moving my post!

OP posts:
Original poster
entersandman1 · 06/02/2019 12:06

Thank you as well to everyone who has commented. I know he's completely trying his luck asking for £50,000, I'm certain he doesn't really think he's entitled to it, he's just hoping for the best. He was what people would call a cocklodger so didn't contribute anything at all, make any mortgage payments or anything like that. I spoke to a second solicitor and they say short of going to court we can't make anything happen. I was just hoping anyone could give me information on what their experience might have been if they were in a similar situation (home owner with no contributions from spouse, but only married for a brief time like 1 year) and actually went to court.

OP posts:
Collaborate · 06/02/2019 12:59

He might get back what he put in - ie nothing, but it depends on many other factors.

If you value qualifications, insurance, and experience see a solicitor, not a McKenzie Friend.

Notwhoyouthink35 · 06/02/2019 13:08

He will definitely not be entitled to anywhere near £50,000. Did you always pay the mortgage on the property? Has he contributed to any home improvements? These are the sort of things he can try and use to justify his claim.

I would get a better solicitor, if it can’t be resolved just wait the 5 years. I definitely would not give him any money.

Moanranger · 06/02/2019 14:37

Collaborate I do not think a Makenzie friend is for everyone, my point was there are ways to keep legal costs down. Not all family law lawyers are competent. In my protracted divorce, I saw three of my ex’s lawyers in action, his barrister, and my own lawyer. I spent about £25k, but switched to a Makenzie friend when my lawyer said “ oh, your case throws up complex issues”, whilst advising me to spend £3 k just to MEET with a barrister. At that point I knew very well that my case did not throw up complicated issues, switched to a Makenzie Friend, held my nerve, represented myself and got bastard ex to back off. There are others on the Divorce thread who have run their divorces completely on their own, successfully.
The other key point I was making to the OP is not to be intimidated by the courts, they are there to provide fairness, and know an unreasonable demand when they see one.

FinallyHere · 06/02/2019 14:37

short of going to court we can't make anything happen

I would take that to mean go to court and get it sorted. Or what did they mean?