House in a divorce

[worriedandannoyed]

I was wondering if someone could give me a quick answer to this.

I've split up with my husband, we have two children under ten. He's moved out to his parents house but is still currently paying the same contribution towards household costs as before. I'm looking for another job to increase my income as I realise that sooner or later he will reduce what he's paying.

We won't be reconciling, so further down the line will need to divorce and settle finances. I want to stay in the house and if I get another job I'm happy I can pay the bills on my own.l with a reasonable amount of maintenance from him. But would the mortgage have to be transferred to my name only? I'd have to work full time to earn enough for a bank to lend me that much. Or am I entitled for him to keep his name on the mortgage until the youngest is 18? I assume not as he won't want any financial ties with me and I could default on the mortgage. Thanks

Hi OP I negotiated this with my ex. I would recommend you get valuations from three local estate agents. You don't have to tell them you're getting divorced simply that you're considering moving. Work out your equity from that, half of which is yours. You now have a figure for his share of the equity that you can ask if he will offset against the other assets of the marriage, such as the pension. Get a CETV of the pension. I was clear in my own mind though that funding my retirement later down the line will be hard work so if you can downsize and still accommodate the children whilst having a share of the pension set aside for you that might be a better long term decision.

Thanks for the advice. Will the pension CETV be higher or lower than the value on the annual statement? Just trying to work things out roughly in my head

He can stay on the mortgage but this means he will be entitled to a share in the equity when you sell (or the kids reach a certain age, then he can legally get you to sell) unless you tie it up legally (imagine paying the mortgage on your own for 20 years and then he walks away with 50% of the equity).

You can tie this up by him signing a deed for trust which means you agree to give him a set amount (say half of the equity as it stands now) when you sell or within a set period. This means he stays on the mortgage and you pay but he has no further claim on any additional equity you acquire) But this does mean if you default his credit rating is affected and he can’t go and get another mortgage, plus the agreed equity is tied up and he can’t get it.

Nest case scenario is you buy him out and get a mortgage on your own.

and it is naive to think that life will drift on like nothing has happened

Here here. Women battled for decades to have equal rights, but some still think it is the duty of the Ex Husband to handover everything they earn and live in poverty, whilst the Ex Wife continues as though there had been no Divorce.

With the exception of wealthy families everyone (including children) is likely to see a change in lifestyle (ie downwards) after a Divorce.

People in this country really have crappily low expectations of men

According to Mostyn it is usually the ex wife that has hugely high and unrealistic expectations of ex husbands.

Having heard the case I would not describe that claim as complex. Rather, I would describe it as speculative, experimental and unfeasible. I consider it to be a product of the great bitterness that the wife feels towards the husband. Her section 25 statement is a most unhappy document and seems to have been written with a pen dipped in vitriol

"In this field of litigation budgets prepared by the parties often have a high degree of unreality - usually the applicant wife's budget is much inflated*

And that's the conclusion of a Judge that has presided over many cases.

I did the same as ohamIreally

CETV for both of us. Annual reports are not the same. All savings and debts laid out.

He kept his substantial pension and l kept the house but had to pay him a lump sum so he had immediate money for a deposit on a new property. He then gave me that back in a pension sharing order.