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Original poster

Help with this mess please!

66 replies

ExHHouseHelp · 03/12/2018 18:31

Ok so longish story. Husband and I bought a house 10 years ago in joint names. It was a shared equity property where you have to pay the 25% back after 10 years. The marriage didn’t last and I asked him to leave after 2 years. He did and I stayed in the house with our then toddler. He paid maintenance and I paid the mortgage payments but could only afford the interest only mortgage. I meant to change it to a repayment mortgage but couldn’t afford it so now 10 years later i’ve still only paid the interest. The house is only worth the price of the mortgage and the builders now want their 25% which I don’t have! We haven’t divorced because exH agreed he didn’t want to force me and our child out of the house as the bank wouldn’t agree to take him off the mortgage. 2 years ago my new partner moved in. My ex has been pestering me for years to start paying some capital but I just can’t afford to, even with my new partner living with us. He pays for shopping here and there etc but doesn’t earn much himself. ExH is now getting difficult and saying the house needs sorting. He says he shouldn’t have to pay half the 25% the builders want because he only lived here for 2 years and I haven’t paid anything except the interest even though I said I would (just couldn’t afford to!) but I think he should have to as his name is on the mortgage. He wants to file for divorce now and says if we don’t come to an agreement on the debt it will end up costing a fortune in legal fees which of course I don’t want! Any ideas where I stand here and whether I’m wrong to ask him for half of this money?

Thank you

OP posts:
SillySallySingsSongs · 03/12/2018 18:35

I agree with him tbh. He could have insisted when your OH moved in.

Bombardier25966 · 03/12/2018 18:39

I'm with the ex on this also.

If the house had gained in value, would you be offering him half the equity? Or would you say he's not entitled because he hasn't lived there for eight years.

NicePieceOfPlaid · 03/12/2018 18:40

I agree with your ex as well. Very unfair on him, he's subsidising your new man. Very cheeky.

Original poster
ExHHouseHelp · 03/12/2018 18:42

He’s not subsidising the new man though. He pays child maintenance (just about what the CMS says he has to pay) but nothing else.

OP posts:
DewDropsonKittens · 03/12/2018 18:46

Are you going to give him 50% of the equity when/ if you sell the house?

Madeline88 · 03/12/2018 18:50

He is though as he’s still on the mortgage helping to keep a roof over you and new mans head plus you’re now asking him for a lump sum payment. It seems the best option is to sell the house if you don’t have the 25%? Although in fairness to you, your husband should have got this sorted years ago, not left it too crunch time!

Original poster
ExHHouseHelp · 03/12/2018 18:50

There won’t be any equity. I just want to get rid of the house now but this money is owed to the builders, which is going to be tens of thousands. His name is on the contract so I think he should pay. He threatened to withhold child maintenance from this month onwards to pay to the mortgage company for the capital but I told him that it’s illegal for him to do that and if he did I would have to pay 50% less for the mortgage payment. He’s paid me now after I said that but has threatened to do the same again next month if it isn’t sorted. I don’t know what to do

OP posts:
Madeline88 · 03/12/2018 18:53

So between the mortgage and this 25%, do you actually owe more then the house is worth? Or if you sold the house, could you pay all the debt?

TheHobbitMum · 03/12/2018 18:53

Of course you can't ask him to pay! You've been very stupid to ignore this for so long

Original poster
ExHHouseHelp · 03/12/2018 18:54

No it’s worth the same amount as the mortgage but the builders want their 25% on top of that. So about £30K shortfall!

OP posts:
Bombardier25966 · 03/12/2018 18:55

What was the value of the house when he left, and how much was owed to the builder?

What is the value of the house now, and how much is owed?

NationalShiteDay · 03/12/2018 18:57

Wow I'd be so angry at you if I were your Ex.

You clearly couldn't afford to live there, have done nothing about it in 8 years, have moved your cocklodger in, and now expect your ex to pay up??

CF of the day award OP.

Moreisnnogedag · 03/12/2018 18:58

If you aren’t in negative equity then sell.

SillySallySingsSongs · 03/12/2018 18:58

So your OH has lived their rent free? About time he contributed then.

If I was your ex I would be pissed off he has moved in, pays nothing but a bit if shopping sometines yet you want your ex to pay half of what is owed.

Sorry not on.

Original poster
ExHHouseHelp · 03/12/2018 18:58

When he left i’m not sure. We bought it for about £185k but only £140k mortgage. The rest was to be paid back to the builders in 10 years. The mortgage is still about £140k and the house it’s only worth £140k too now. It’s a nightmare

OP posts:
Nacreous · 03/12/2018 18:59

So you have a house worth £90k, that you bought for £120k (£30k loan from builders, 90k mortgage), and now you have a mortgage that's still 90k, and the builders want their money?

That would mean the house had lost a lot of value since you bought it a decade ago, is that correct?

Monday55 · 03/12/2018 18:59

Sorry but if you had sold the house then you'd have been paying way more towards rent than you are now. How much rent was your new partner paying before he moved in with you? How is he not able to contribute?

Nacreous · 03/12/2018 18:59

Ah sorry, x-post!

Giantbanger · 03/12/2018 19:00

I'm with your ex tbh.

He should only have to pay 2.5% (2.5% per year for the 10 years and he was only there for 2 years and you owe half each so 5% divided equally is 2.5%)

Jaffacakebeast · 03/12/2018 19:03

Very unfair and underhand of you to expect him to pay, he did you a favour not getting divorced and staying on the mortgage, so you stay in the house. Legally he only has to pay maintance for the child, not housing. That is the responsibility of the main parent

Bluewidow · 03/12/2018 19:08

You are being unreasonable. Why should he have to pay if he hasn’t lived there for 8 years when he has been paying maintenance? Plus your partners moved in rent free- contributes to food - wow! He must have seen this as a golden opportunity-where did he live before still rent free at home, or did he previously have to pay rent?

Anyway what does the contract say about if you can’t afford to pay it back? You really should have looked at all the scenarios some years ago when you knew you couldn’t afford to pay back.

MrsBertBibby · 03/12/2018 19:09

Well if you sell the house now, the builders will have little chance of recovering their 25% as the lender will have first call on the sale proceeds. You can't actually afford to sell as there will be no money left over for solicitors costs and estate agents fees on sale. So they would be wanting those up front.

The most practical solution would be to tell the builders they'll have to extend the loan period, and agree with ex husband that you will stay put, but convert the mortgage to repayment so there is some hope of there being enough equity to pay the builder in the future.

If that doesn't work, hand the keys back to the lender and walk away. I doubt the builder will throw good money after bad using you and your ex, since you will go bankrupt.

What a bloody ridiculous set up. No wonder the financial system crashed.

Original poster
ExHHouseHelp · 03/12/2018 19:24

I told him I might just hand the keys back but he went mad saying they’d then come after him for all the money because I can’t afford to pay it. He can’t afford it either and I know I am responsible for half of it but don’t think I should have to be responsible for all of it when we bought the house together.

OP posts:
Bluewidow · 03/12/2018 19:25

To be fair you ex should have also been making sure that you were paying repayment and should have sorted this out if you weren’t by coming off the mortgage. However it is ultimately your problem to sort out. Did your husband contribute to the deposit? As if he did I can’t understand why he hasn’t sorted this as if you walk away from this house he looses money too.

Giantbanger · 03/12/2018 19:25

But he hasn't been living in the house and you moved a cocklodger in!