Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Original poster

Help with this mess please!

66 replies

ExHHouseHelp · 03/12/2018 18:31

Ok so longish story. Husband and I bought a house 10 years ago in joint names. It was a shared equity property where you have to pay the 25% back after 10 years. The marriage didn’t last and I asked him to leave after 2 years. He did and I stayed in the house with our then toddler. He paid maintenance and I paid the mortgage payments but could only afford the interest only mortgage. I meant to change it to a repayment mortgage but couldn’t afford it so now 10 years later i’ve still only paid the interest. The house is only worth the price of the mortgage and the builders now want their 25% which I don’t have! We haven’t divorced because exH agreed he didn’t want to force me and our child out of the house as the bank wouldn’t agree to take him off the mortgage. 2 years ago my new partner moved in. My ex has been pestering me for years to start paying some capital but I just can’t afford to, even with my new partner living with us. He pays for shopping here and there etc but doesn’t earn much himself. ExH is now getting difficult and saying the house needs sorting. He says he shouldn’t have to pay half the 25% the builders want because he only lived here for 2 years and I haven’t paid anything except the interest even though I said I would (just couldn’t afford to!) but I think he should have to as his name is on the mortgage. He wants to file for divorce now and says if we don’t come to an agreement on the debt it will end up costing a fortune in legal fees which of course I don’t want! Any ideas where I stand here and whether I’m wrong to ask him for half of this money?

Thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
ExHHouseHelp · 03/12/2018 19:28

No there was no deposit-the builders call their 25% the deposit. He did keep asking me and I kept promising him I would sort it and I did want to but could never afford it. We both aske the bank but they wouldn’t take him off the mortgage

OP posts:
DrDillWithIt · 03/12/2018 19:30

@ExHHouseHelp why are you ignoring what so many people are saying to you?

Yes, you bought the house together many years ago. That alone does not mean he should have to half the costs with you because you've continued living in a house you know you can't afford.

He hasn't lived in it for 8 years. He has left his name on the mortgage allowing you a roof over your head for all that time (and your new man's) instead of forcing you out of your home, and has paid child maintenance too.

Why on earth should he be responsible for half when you alone have had the use and enjoyment of the property for the last 8 years?

You should have sold it when you realised you couldn't afford to repay the capital. Very irresponsible of you.

MummytoCSJH · 03/12/2018 19:31

Of course you should have to pay it all! Maybe a little towards the few years he lived there but he only stayed on the agreement (doing you a massive favour when he didn't have to) to help you - it's so so cheeky of you to now throw the bill at him!

SouthWestmom · 03/12/2018 19:32

Was it interest only when he left?

DrDillWithIt · 03/12/2018 19:34

@ExHHouseHelp I don't understand why you've just continued living there, knowing you can't afford to live there, and knowing the arrangement with the builder/ that you're on an interest only mortgage? Why would you not just have arranged to sell it years ago when you first knew you couldn't afford it?

Original poster
ExHHouseHelp · 03/12/2018 19:34

I’m reading and taking in what you’re all saying. Are any of you legal people? I wonder if he’d legally have to pay it? Yes it was interest only. The bank told us we should change to a repayment mortgage after 2 years but that was when he moved out and I couldn’t afford to.

OP posts:
Twickerhun · 03/12/2018 19:35

Not a lawyer - I’d say you owe the majority floc this money but your ex could be perused if you go bankrupt

TightPants · 03/12/2018 19:44

Blimey OP, no wonder you posted here. If you’d gone to AIBU your arse would be handed to you on a plate.
Massive cheeky fuckery Shock

MummytoCSJH · 03/12/2018 19:45

I have legal experience but not particularly in this area - I'm tempted to say yes legally he would be going to the contract but on appeal he may be released from it given then circumstances? Perhaps someone with knowledge of contract law can help - I'm a bit rusty Grin. It's quite obvious you're trying to get out of paying it though, and even though legally he may be obliged to pay it, I think it makes you a shitty person morally if you do make him when he's been helping you for years.

MummytoCSJH · 03/12/2018 19:46

He would be BOUND to the contract, that should say.

Bluewidow · 03/12/2018 19:50

Well yes he would be bound as his names on the mortgage I would hve thought . But so is she, and she’s the one living there. If i was him I’d be tempted to pay it if I had it and move back in!

FinallyHere · 03/12/2018 19:51

And you really can't see the benefit your now DP has enjoyed, staying in what is effectively a house owned at least partly by your expectations (and the builders)

PenrodPooch · 03/12/2018 19:54

Unfortunately I think legally yes he has to pay however morally you are very wrong to demand he does

If it was the other way round and he was demanding you paid for a house that only he lived in how would you feel then?

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 03/12/2018 19:55

Legally you are jointly and separately liable; but he'd stand a good chance of appealing the vast majority of his share, I believe.

Given that it is your life choices re moving DP in and not leaving the house when you realised you couldn't make repayments, I'd be looking for a solution that didn't involve him.

Strawberry2017 · 03/12/2018 19:55

You are completely unreasonable, your new partner should be contributing more then shopping here and there.
Yes he legally signed the contract but unless you plan to give him money when you sell why should he have to give you money towards a house that a new man is living in?sound like you are living a life you can't afford.

MrsBertBibby · 03/12/2018 19:59

Yes I am a family solicitor, and I suggest you ignore all the people on here turning this into a moral debate.

It isn't. It's a legal question.

If he didn't like the set up, he should have taken steps to resolve the issues. He chose not to.

So now you have the choices I outlined above. Those are the choices. You are both liable for the full amount of the builder's loan (and any mortgage shortfall) and if they won't wait, then the house must go. Although they will get nothing in those circumstances, so they may agree to wait.

You need to see a family solicitor for proper advice, but those seem to me the only options on the information you have given.

Original poster
ExHHouseHelp · 03/12/2018 20:11

Thank you MrsBertsBibby. Can I ask why you think the builders wouldn’t pursue us both? Would they not just make us bankrupt?

OP posts:
Giantbanger · 03/12/2018 20:20

Surely if youmhand the keys back to the lender the lender will bankrupt you?

SillySallySingsSongs · 03/12/2018 20:37

Yes it is a legal question. It doesn't mean that the OP and her cocklodger OH aren't behaving badly however.

MrsBertBibby · 03/12/2018 20:46

It would cost the builders a lot of money to pursue you, and bankrupt you, and once the house is gone, there would be little chance of their even recouping those costs, let alone getting their money back. You and your ex are both on low incomes.

They gambled on the house going up in value, and they lost.

So they may well just leave it.

Original poster
ExHHouseHelp · 03/12/2018 20:48

My ex is on a decent wage but definitely doesn’t have all the money to pay it. He says they’ll go after him if I hand the keys back and he says he won’t be able to pay maintenance if he goes bankrupt which is probably right.

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 03/12/2018 20:53

What would you have had the OP do differently?
Her marriage ended so she and the child stayed in the house and paid the mortgage. What a bitch!

She got a new boyfriend (no better than she should be, obvs) who didn't contribute towards the purchase price of an asset in which he had no interest. The feckless bastard.

Her ex did nothing but pay minimum maintenance whilst demanding she pay down a mortgage so he could benefit. And took no steps to deal with any of the issues. The poor wronged hero.

Go back to AIBU, ffs.

MrsBertBibby · 03/12/2018 20:55

Nope. CMS maintenance is calculated on gross income, not after debt repayments, and arrears are still payable despite a bankruptcy.

SillySallySingsSongs · 03/12/2018 20:57

Go back to AIBU, ffs.

Oh the thread police.

How mature Hmm

who didn't contribute towards the purchase price of an asset in which he had no interest. The feckless bastard.

He appears to contribute nothing. No bills. Nothing. He has a great deal.

MissMalice · 03/12/2018 21:01

I think that’s slightly unfair MrsBB. The ex did the generous thing by not forcing a divorce/sale of the house. Naive to not have taken legal steps but generous nonetheless. OP has been reckless in her management of the mortgage and the new partner has been living rent free.

And now he could be made bankrupt. That’s shit. I agree legally you’re right but morally it does stink.

Swipe left for the next trending thread