Domestic violence, absent parent, child's first passport & change of name

[FeelingTrappedAgain]

NC.

I am trying the legal eagles and other wise, experienced women of Mumsnet, after failing to get through to the very busy Rights of Women and Women's Aid helplines, despite trying over 100 times.

DD has been offered a place on a school trip overseas at short notice after another child dropped out. She has not had a passport yet, despite being a teenager now, because we haven't travelled overseas since she was born. We have been unable to travel because I am the full time sole carer for a severely disabled close family member and, even if that were not the case, money is very tight. I am also the sole parent of the DCs, the marriage breaking down when DD was only a baby, and I am now divorced.

To be continued...(Apologies - posting in parts as the last nearly completed attempt was lost)

Must grab some sleep Hague and tomato but I will return later to the thread, and thank you to both.

The law has not changed. If you are 16 or over you can use whatever name you want. If you are under 16 a change of name requires the consent of everyone with parental responsibility. The deed poll is invalid and the solicitor should not have acted as they did. The courts have been clear since 1997 that official bodies must not accept a change of name for a child unless there is a court order or it is clear that everyone with PR consents to the change.

Assuming tomatosalt was under 16 when getting her passport the Passport Office made a mistake. However, if she was 16 or over the fact that the change of name originally occurred when she was under 16 without the correct consent is irrelevant.

I am surprised that the Passport Office apparently wants a new deed poll to change the OP's child's name back to her birth name. That shouldn't be necessary. Her name is legally still her birth name. That is the only name that should ever have been used by official bodies.

Realistically you need to apply for your DD's passport in her birth name. She is old enough to understand that the purpose of a passport is so much more than travelling - it's legal evidence of your nationality, right to work etc.

When she's 16 she can register a deed poll with the court and when she wants to get a passport on her "true" name.

Yes it's upsetting but you were badly advised at the time and laws are very strict and it's not a battle you can sort out in the short time frame you have.

Your daughters wishes at her age will be paramount.
I think if you can persuade the court on Monday to give you an urgent hearing you have a realistic prospect of getting consent. If DD attends and makes the strength of her feelings clear then they are far less likely to want to trace DF.
If you haven't got a printer, hand write your statement and go there Monday morning and fill in the forms. If you are in receipt of benefits take proof so that you don't have to pay the fee.
I think you have a chance here. But I think DD is key. I understand you wouldn't want to take her but she understands what is going on and that she is at risk of not going and is distressed at the prospect of being made to use DF's name.
The only other possible way of saving this if is MP acts quickly to persuade the passport office to issue a passport but I would have thought that would be in DF's name. Which you say would be very distressing for DD.
You have to weigh up the distress and upset of each option.
If the court thinks there is a risk to you in tracing DF and if DD makes the strength of her feelings known the court will not try to trace him.

In my first sentence when I said consent I meant the court's consent, ie a court order.

I know it's a difficult option for DD to confront but surely it's less upsetting than being excluded from the trip.

You need to demonstrate to the court why it's urgent so you need to explain how the passport office misled you and then dropped the bombshell.

Emergency appointment at the passport office. The in person lot seem much more sensible then the behind the scenes team.

A friend had real issues with the fact she and her husband double barrelled their names, turned up and it was sorted in ten minutes.

She then claimed back the appointment cost, travel costs, emergency deed poll she apparently didn’t need even though she was told she did need it, etc. They paid up without question.

I think if you can persuade the court on Monday to give you an urgent hearing you have a realistic prospect of getting consent

I'm with Familylawsolicitor on this. An urgent hearing is unlikely and a the court will almost certainly want to see that reasonable attempts to contact the father have been made before granting an order. The OP may be able to get an order allowing the change of name but I think she will struggle to get one in the limited time available. The easiest way forward would be to use her daughter's birth name.

Emergency appointment at the passport office. The in person lot seem much more sensible then the behind the scenes team

I can't comment on whether they are more sensible but they are still bound by the law. Legally the OP's daughter's name is, and always has been, the name on her birth certificate.

I think it's fairly clear from the legal people on here that she either gets a passport in the name on her birth certificate or she doesn't go on the trip.

There is no reason (well apart from the cost of the passport) that she can't then get it changed when she gets back.

I'm sorry you've been so badly advised up until now

And I think you should ask your DD what she wants to do. I can't believe that she has never seen her own birth certificate and is aware that she had a different surname at birth to the one that she has now. I can understand this must be very traumatic for you but it sounds like this trip would be enormously beneficial to your DD in many ways

Thank you for your replies, even if some opinions are quite difficult to read and not really what I want to hear. I understand that some will just think the law is the law is the law, and that's it. My own view is that the law is made, administered and interpreted by people. Sometimes the law is wrong, or sometimes the administration or interpretation is. I realise that I'm not going to change the law, (or even the world), especially in a few days....

However, it is clear from my own experience, from replies to this thread, different threads and online forum searches that Deed Polls have and are being issued with one signature and passports have and are being issued on the basis of those Deed Polls. So whatever the law, in some cases by some individuals it is being ignored or, I prefer to think, applied with common sense and humanity in exceptional situations similar to mine. I realise that some will think this is wrong, if you see things more in black and white, and/or if you haven't walked in shoes similar to mine.

I do appreciate and am thinking through all the advice given, even if that is quite painful.

I wanted to say something about the original advice I was given by HMPO. HMPO said he was wrong to give me the impression he did and he will be 'rebriefed'. It is a shame if the humanity is being 'debriefed' out of staff. The information on the website is clear, yes, as we both acknowledged, but here was a member of staff on the ground aware that exceptions are made, advising me it was worth applying, and so I trusted that.

Only a couple of years ago, there was the vague chance of a school trip for DD at her previous school. I didn't have Internet access at that time, so I rang HMPO for advice about the application costs and timescale. I explained our situation and was told that a passport would be issued in her Deed Poll name without any difficulty at all. It sounded like standard practice at that time in situations where there is a longterm completely absent 'parent'. I wasn't told, and without access to the website was completely unaware at that time, of any requirement at all for the other signature or a court order. School didn't go ahead with the trip and so I didn't need to apply at that time.

It seems to me, and I think I remember being told this by HMPO, that things have tightened up since towards rigid application of the law but it still depends on who's desk the application lands. The person who advised me this time around possibly knows that. We have obviously been unlucky with the desk, but it shouldn't depend on luck.

It sounded like standard practice at that time in situations where there is a longterm completely absent 'parent'.

It was. We did it.
I suppose we’re supposed to be grateful for all this amazing enhanced security, preventing teens from using the name that is there’s—for terrorist purposes— ? 🙄

Amy update oP?

Sincere thanks to everyone who contributed to the thread with genuine, kind advice and support. I will return to the thread with an update when I can. Much appreciated.

UPDATE

Hi again to all who kindly shared their knowledge and experience, and gave support and understanding. I wanted to give you all an update on the outcome, and also possibly to help other parents in a similar situation now or in the future.

I was very close to giving up, but as a last ditch attempt I contacted our MP, acting on advice from the thread. This led to our application being referred on to a specialist team within the Passport Office and based in Glasgow. They deal with cases where there are special circumstances relating to children. They contacted me, and after very thoroughly reviewing our application the passport was issued in my DD's name.

This meant that my DD was able to go on her school trip, and alongside her friends and peers she experienced something that will hopefully have a lasting positive impact on her life and education, (as well as having had quite a lot of good old fashioned fun).

I was treated with absolute professionalism, sensitivity, common sense and kindness by our MP's team and by the staff at the specialist passport team. I can not praise both highly enough. There was a recognition that not everything is black and white, and that our laws and rules need to be administered with that in mind, and with humanity and compassion. Who knew that such a specialist team existed. There is a strong case for all similar applications to be referred to them in future.

It wasn't just about getting the outcome we hoped for, it was about helping us on our journey to leave the past behind and recognise us as the family we are now and have been for many years. In essence, to shake off a shackle from the past, to feel more free and less trapped (hence the user name).

I would advise any parent in a very similar situation, (or a solicitor advising them), not to give up. Ask for your DC's application to be sent on to the specialist team who have the expertise to understand the complexities of such applications, rather than the generic passport staff who often do not. If the passport office won't refer you on, then contact your MP and request their help. You also don't have to wait to contact your MP until after you've exhausted the passport office complaints procedure. Before taking these courses of action however, please read the full thread. I was only able to get this help because of my wholly positive motives and our very specific circumstances.

My sincere thanks once again to those who helped

Great update OP! So does this mean future passports will be renewed in the same name?

Wonderful news

Thank you, Love and Enko. I can't describe the relief. I had felt powerless against faceless bureaucracy, and the involvement of our MP evened up that power dynamic, all to the benefit of DD. Suddenly we were treated fairly, like human beings. Yes Love, they accept it is her name, and future passports will be the same. Her next passport will be an adult passport anyway, so she can call herself whatever she likes within reason without needing anyone's permission. If she had needed another child passport though, it would be renewed in her accepted name. I'm confident that the very competent specialist team would have quickly resolved any problem with this however.

What an excellent update.

So glad on all counts lass.

What a fantastic update