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Legal matters

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Original poster

Prohibited steps order.

28 replies

Melkim40 · 02/04/2018 19:58

I have had to apply for a PSO as my ex is planning to take my 13yr old son to move to Cornwall. My son currently lives with me. My son has ADHD and this would be detrimental to his condition. My son loves his Dad and has regular access which I am happy to continue. My son is confused about what he wants to do and I am angry with my ex for putting him in this position. There is a hearing in two days. My ex is planning to take my son to the hearing as he will be staying with him. I am so confused and sick with panic that the judge may rule against me if my son says he wants to go. Also will CAFCASS get involved? Any advice appreciated. TIA

OP posts:

MrsBertBibby · 02/04/2018 21:15

Have you been asked to bring your son to court? I know some courts (like the Central Family Court) have such an arrangement, but otherwise he will get an absolute hammering for dragging the child to court.

I assume this is the first hearing? Do you have representation?

Original poster

Melkim40 · 02/04/2018 22:49

There is nothing on the paperwork to say that our son can be there.
I am representing myself, I can't get legal aid as am above the threshold but can't afford a solicitor.
Thank you for your advice.

OP posts:

MrsBertBibby · 02/04/2018 23:28

In that case he will be in bother. Your son can't come into court, and no one can watch him while you're in. Is he OK to sit and wait in a public place alone?

What an idiot.

Even if your son says he wants to go the Court won't just make an order. A 13 year old, especially one with additional needs, and impulse issues doesn't get to change main carer, and school, and county on a whim. How far from you is Cornwall?

Original poster

Melkim40 · 03/04/2018 07:11

My Dad is accompanying me. So if my son is there he could sit with him. He would be ok on his own for a little while but would get bored after about half an hour and he would be very anxious and agitated.

Thank you again. I feel a bit better now. I will post on here about how tomorrow goes.

OP posts:

MrsBertBibby · 03/04/2018 07:25

Or better still your dad could take him off somewhere.

Courts can be pretty shitty places to be. Lots of very stressed, angry and frightened people, not infrequently some shouting and argy bargy.

Make sure you have plenty of water (bottles must not come out in the Court room) and snacks. Some courts have a snack bar but many don't.

CAFCASS should be doing background checks, and preliminary checks. Have you not heard from them?

Original poster

Melkim40 · 03/04/2018 08:11

Thankyou. I was at the court last week applying for the order so I saw what it can be like. Not really somewhere I would want my son to be. I Would be organising childcare if it were me.
I haven't heard from CAFFCASS yet but that could happen today I'm guessing. Although it says it could take 17 days for them to complete their checks.
I will take some water. Stomach will be in knots so don't think I will need snacks!

OP posts:

Original poster

Melkim40 · 03/04/2018 08:16

Sorry forgot to say, Cornwall is about 400 miles from me. We tried living there when we were together, it didn't work out so we had to come back and find housing and a school. My son has already had so much upheaval in the last few years, I can't see why my ex would want to put him through this all over again!!

OP posts:

MrsBertBibby · 03/04/2018 08:20

If It's been listed at short notice, CAFCASS won't have done their checks yet, they will be getting on with those in the mean time. You probably won't get their input as you will have been put in as an urgent case.

The court should simply confirm no change to the current arrangements until a full decision is made, (So a PSO forbidding removal from school or your care) and a s7 report which takes 8 weeks in my area, followed by a Dispute Resolution Appointment when the report is done.

Dad will probably have to file a statement setting out his plans (home, school, childcare, specialist support, healthcare, contact with you) so you can respond to that.

Good luck.

Tamatave2000 · 03/04/2018 08:20

I am with MrsBertBibby. Ex wife of my uncle took the youngest child to the final hearing maybe hoping to gain sympathy and Judge was not impressed.

MrsBertBibby · 03/04/2018 08:23

400 miles?! Well that's child centred!

Remember impact on GCSEs if your son is Y9 already.

Original poster

Melkim40 · 04/04/2018 06:07

Thank you again for your advice. I am feeling a bit better about today now. My son is my main priority and that will be what gets me through today. I doubt my ex will have set out plans in his head let alone in a statement. I don't even understand why he wants to move, let alone take our son.
Hearing is in 4 hours!! Will post on here about how it goes!

OP posts:

Mumteedum · 04/04/2018 06:45

Good luck op. It'll be OK

MrsBertBibby · 04/04/2018 07:19

All the best

TeddyIsaHe · 04/04/2018 07:20

Good luck today op

user1493413286 · 04/04/2018 07:23

Hope it goes well. Unless there’s a good reason the courts don’t like to change children’s primary carers and I don’t think they’ll be impressed at his dad bringing him to court. At 13 your son is entitled to his views but he’s too young to make that decision so his dad shouldn’t be expecting him to

TheHobbitMum · 04/04/2018 07:26

Good Luck OP

Original poster

Melkim40 · 04/04/2018 13:16

Hi everyone. Prohibited steps order in place. All went very well. He did bring our son along and his partner. My Dad was with me so kept an eye on him while we were in court. Ex kept laughing while we were in court like it was all a joke. Smile wiped off his face rather abruptly when Judge ruled in favour of PSO!!

OP posts:

auntyflonono · 04/04/2018 13:24

Well done!
What is the next step?

Original poster

Melkim40 · 04/04/2018 14:15

It will be reviewed in 6 months but he will need my written consent to take him permanently out of my care!

OP posts:

justdontknow45 · 04/04/2018 16:06

Well done op been following!

auntyflonono · 04/04/2018 17:35

What a relief! :) How did he cope with being in court? Has it worried him?

Original poster

Melkim40 · 04/04/2018 18:08

He felt awkward because he didn't know whether to sit with me or his Dad, so he sat halfway in between. He takes a while to process things due to his condition. I will have a chat with him when he gets back from his Dads tomm.
Ok blonde question what does 'op' mean!!
Everyone keeps saying 'well done op' and I have tried to figure it out for myself but I am totally confused!

OP posts:

murasaki · 04/04/2018 18:13

Original Poster. And well done.

Original poster

Melkim40 · 04/04/2018 19:16

Ahh thank you! I get it now!!

OP posts:

MrsBertBibby · 04/04/2018 19:34

So kicked into the long grass for 6 months? No reports or anything?

Well done that judge. Masterly bit of procrastination!

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