Letter to my son upon my death, don't know where to start.

[Donkdonkgoo]

I'd love to hear from everyone about the content of their letters to children on the event of your death.
Basically I'm just sorting out putting a will in place and the solicitor has suggested I do an advice letter to my young son god forbid anything should happen to me.
The thought of writting the letter just makes me want to cry but I know it needs to be done and obviously very personal etc.
Any advice as to content? What sort of thing have you put in your letter???

I write a new two each year as it changes as DD grows. Mine are held by a staff member along with a letter of wishes for the executors/trustees of my estate.
One letter is for there and then telling how much I love her sand how I have always been proud of her.
The second is for her 18 birthday and tells are about all the events I am sorry I will not be there for. But that I am sure she is making me proud and that I will always watch over her.

OP, if you don't want to right anything then that's ok. I don't think it's necessary to give something like that to a solicitor. If you feel like writing something in the future you could and just put it with your things.

Oh goodness, are you in the forces or something? I don't think people in office jobs usually do this. (And if you are - thank you.)

OMG is this a thing?! I’ve only ever heard of soldiers doing this (are you a soldier? If so - could someone at work help?)

Is this part of extra stuff your solicitor is charging for I wonder.

My solicitor isn't charging extra for this she just suggested a letter expressing wishes for my sons trust fund, so practical advice and I've picked my sister and a very sensible money savvy friend to have joint responsibility about how much my son can have and at what age as he's not allowed to touch it till he's 28 unless they authorise it. Sols also suggested a letter from me to my son. I think I'm only going to do the one letter to him rather than one at an older age and maybe I won't give it to the solicitor cos it might be work in progress and get changed in the future.

I'm not in the forces, but shit can happen, I see it on the tv a lot, no one knows when their time is up and it's just peace of mind, as a single mum I have sole responsibility of taking care on my son now and In to the future no matter what happens. Thanks for your suggestions and thoughts I will definitely take some of these on board.

When you are a single parent the letter of wishes to the trustees is something solicitors actively Mumblechum herself suggested it to me when she wrote my will.

Op , I know this will be difficult for you but I really take my hat off to you for doing it. My ds father passed away last year and I have often said I wish he’d left him something like this or birthday cards , just something that he could open from him in the future.
His dad never accepted the fact that he was terminally ill and would never have considered this

I've set up an email address for my young son and I send things to it as and when I think of them.

It's not that uncommon for people to die young.

I should do this shouldn't I. (Lone parent).
I do have a will sorted out and insurance that will pay out for the Dc's. But a letter sounds like a wide idea.

wise

Quite a few clients do quite matter of fact letters to their guardians / trustees relating to their views on parenting, schooling, i.e. Private or state, use of funds e.g. for first car, anything you would have covered had you survived etc.

As for personal letter well I can't say. Google lyrics to baz Luhrmann sunscreen and adapt?

Bimbobaggins
I'm really sorry to hear of your loss and this situation being a reality for your son. It must be a really difficult time 😔 X

Kerala I agree matter of fact letter to give guidance about release of funds.

A big factor for me for setting the trust fund release date to his 28th birthday is because I know someone who unexpectedly inherited his fathers substantial estate at 18 and it was the worst thing that could have happened, he went off the rails, friends came out the woodwork and he blew most of it irresponsibly on friends that disappeared when the cash started to run out. Luckily his mum/my friend managed to pursuade him to pin a small amount down on a house deposit so that has helped him into adulthood.
My sis and friend will hold the purse strings until he's 28.

Megathesecond
I think it would be a huge comfort, if the boot was on the other foot I think a letter from my mum would definitely have ease my pain and give strength to carry on and appreciated some guidance and direction later into life.

Its a lovely idea. Only advice I can think of is to refrain from saying things like you wish you could be their for their wedding day or to meet their kids. My friends had a letter like that from her mum who died when she was a child and she felt very pressured to get married and have children because she thought thats what her mum wanted her to be doing.

I've set up an email address for my little one and we email him when we go on holiday and photos of family/friend meetings with full descriptions of how he knows them (as they may not be around when he is older)
I always include photos of me with him and my husband with him and what he has achieved since my last email, my next one will include sleeping through the night and walking (just so he knows he kept us awake till he was 1 )
He will get access to it when we die or when he turn 18
I just hope when he is old enough they still have email ... haha !

Upsidedown
Good point I will take note not to do that.
Moodytwo
That is very sweet wish I had started that when was younger, worth putting on a memory stick? 😊

I don't believe in leaving things for the future from beyond the grave so to speak. Leave the living to the living.

*I think it's more of an indulgence from the departed then for the benefit of the living. Same with the wanting to plan out your own funeral to every last precise detail. It's just an ego thing as far as I'm concerned.

We've done this.

Wrote how much we love them. How proud we are. Some words about where we've found peace and tranquility (the places the wind blows through our hair). Some family stuff.

All the money stuff and who gets what is in the wills.

I don't agree at all vit. I wish my Dad had done it for me so I had something left of him.

I have to disagree about planning the funeral being an ego thing, are you for real.
I have written down instructions of what I want for my funeral to help the person having to arrange it and not leaving them guessing what they should or shouldn’t do at an already upsetting time.

Thanks donk

I remember the "PS I love you" film and remember thinking all those letters that kept arriving in the post and how torturous that must feel in relality and I think it would stop someone moving on/deal with accepting that person has gone. That's my thoughts thou, hence just doing the one letter/draft email that I will update over time and to be read upon my death.
Hope this subject hasn't made anyone's Sunday morbid 😊.