DS may have to leave homeless accommodation

[Anwen11]

This is difficult to write.

DS, late 20s, left home of his own volition some years ago. Had breakdowns, was in hospital, wasn't willing to have anything very much to do with us. In and out of our lives - mostly out. When we did see him, he was in a bad way and then at one point, lost contact altogether. We never stopped thinking about him or trying to find out where he was. Younger DCs had had a difficult time living with him and were, I think, relieved that peace had returned to the house.

Out of the blue just before Christmas, we received a tip off that he was living rough in our town. A few days later, we found him - looking desperately ill and thin. We contacted the out of hours homeless officer who found him a room until he could be seen next week. Such a relief. We've been seeing him everyday since and he's looking, bit by bit, less tired and gaunt.

I've just a call from the landlady to say that his behaviour is upsetting other residents (antisocial) and that she's minded to ask him to leave. She spoke to him this morning & apparently he was only half listening. I explained that he was due to see the council next week - could he be given a second chance until then at least? She said that she was going to recommend that he goes someone supportive, structured - he doesn't appear to be ready to live independently she felt. DS told us that his nights in homeless shelters were difficult - rowdy, noisy etc - where he is now is clearly so much quieter and pleasanter but he's clearly not making the best of it. So sad. What little money he gets in the way of benefits is apparently being taken back in overpayments and by the bank (overdraft charges). Our means are very modest - we're helping him on a day to day basis but that's just about all we can manage at present.

Is it likely that the council will identify supported accommodation which could provide a genuine bridge between his present situation and something, in the end, more permanent from where he can get his life back together? It would be very difficult to have him at home - DC's memories are all too vivid and he has behaved threateningly towards me in the past, too. I long for the day, though, and would do anything to bring that about.

Any thoughts would be welcome.

Benefits should not be used by the bank to pay back overdraft charges. I hope you know what the other overpayments are for - I know not a major thing but adds to the pieces of the puzzle.

He needs mh support.
This will also help him to secure supported living accomadation.
Somebody who has diagnosed MH and an active support team have a better chance of housing as they fall in to the vulnerable category.

If you can get him to give the bank permission for you to talk on his behalf.
Banks are not allowed to take the majority of someones benefits. Uf he owes the bank in OD fees they have to set up a paymdnt plan not just take the benefits.

Failing that he can open a credit union account with just a c/o address. They will say he cant but he can i have fone it loads of times its just not a well used service so even the staff dont know.
The account will stay active for 3 months before you have to ptovide a permenant address but he can vet his benefits paid in there to stop the bank taking his money.

If he is having repeated charges taken from his bank account, then he can call his bank, authorise them to speak to you, explain his situation and he should receive a refund of his charges. This does work, I called on behalf of a disabled client on Thursday. NATWEST refunded the charges within 24 hours.

Assuming this landlady is paid by the Local Authority, the fact she is rescinding his bed is something perhaps you can work with her on? How is his rent being paid there at the moment?

In any event, your son should be registering as in need of housing and as homeless as his current accommodation is classed as temporary. As (assuming here);your son has no dependents, he may well not be afforded a housing duty despite his needs both mentally and physically. HE also should go and see his GP soonest and inform them he is homeless and temporary medicated. Your son needs to be hooked into services quickly.

Some LA will offer a paper bond to some of their approved private landlords locally. Again, I am assuming there is a live housing benefit claim in being paid to his current landlady? If not, then he will almost certainly qualify if he does enter a supported living service and assuming either he has a claim in for his current accommodation?

I'd look around your local area also at supported living services, it might be something that adult social care can get involved in for your son. I'd call adult social services and get him booked in.

If your son is suffering substance misuse then a local drug treatment service usually have a range of services available including access to housing.

His current benefits you say are subject to third party deductions, if causing extreme hardship, there are ways of getting some deductions quashed. It does however, depend on what they are.

HTH.

It sounds like he's currently in interim accommodation pending investigations re homelessness application?
Does he have plenty of medical evidence re his MH etc? I'd be very wary about him getting chucked out of the interim, although depending on your LA he may be luckier than people are where I am. It might be a good idea to see if you can find a Legal Aid housing solicitor who might be able to assist with the process (this is my line of work although I'm a bit weak on homelessness and different LAs do things differently).
Can you encourage him to abide by the rules and impress upon him how vulnerable his situation is at the moment? Does he have a MH support worker? (sorry for all the questions, going into work mode!)

NB not a solicitor, but work in this area.

I don’t understand how you could let your child live on the streets. Don’t you have a couch until he’s settled? Unless there’s a massive drip feed coming about his heroin addiction or untreated schizophrenia why wouldn’t you just bring him home? How many kids do you have exactly? I can’t imagine starting a second family if my first one wasn’t sorted. So sad.

sorry, but it is very unlikely he will be offered any further accommodation if he messes up this one. He needs to have that clearly spelt out to him.

It is very sad Mmcanny but try not to judge. I see this quite often and it's just not sustainable for this person to be in the family home - he's struggling to cope in a room in a house after being street homeless, let alone a family home with the additional stresses and strains this can bring. Given OP states he was in and out of hospital and had breakdowns I'd imagine his behaviour is very difficult to live with and manage.

MM
OP has already said he has been violent to her. He made the younger children miserable.

Have you ever had 1 family member that is so selfish the rest of the family cannot cope or be happy and settled?

Do you put their adult needs before childrens or your own?

MMcanny a child does not have to be a schizophrenic heroin addict to be unsafe in the home with younger children. It does sound like the OP's ds is mentally ill, but there are lots of other mh diagnoses that can make a person difficult/impossible to live with. I live in California where there is housing and support for people with mental health issues. However, it can be complicated and difficult to access the support. Is it the same in the UK? It sounds like the OP needs some help and advice regarding what support there is and how to access it. Can anyone suggest organizations that she can call to help guide her through this process? (Unfortunately I only know who she could call in Los Angeles.)

I'd contact citizens advise in your area and ask that they assist with making an application for disability benefits if he is not already in receipt of these.
In my area there are 'supportive' housing projects run by landlords where up to about four people share a house. The rent is much higher than is usual for the rent of a room but is paid by housing benefit. There is a worker assigned to each house who checks that everyone is in receipt of all benefits entitled and who collects the small top up rent. This worker also oversees any social issues with the tenants. It's not ideal but sounds a much safer option than having your son home. The landlord however does not live there and owns many properties. Your local council will be able to tell you if they have something similar.
I wish you all the very best with this horrendously difficult situation. I'd be wary of providing him with a home even if he is thrown out of the current place, it may effect his homelessness application though I may be wrong about this

MMcanny Did you ignore the part where he is threatening towards op? That his siblings have very vivid memories of bad times?
That he left home of his own accord (which means he probably may not want to return?)

Please read & absorb before you judge!

And where is the indication that op "started a second family"? It is entirely possible that she has a big age difference between her dc

There is a system. The OPs DS is in it. No amount of contacting people and talking to people is going to produce another system. OP, get through to your DS that there is nothing left if he falls foul of the system he is in.

There is a safety net. He is in it. There is no further safety net below this one. There is nowhere else to go. Thousands of youngsters like him would not be living and dying on the street if there was an unlimited beds available inside, and an unlimited number of chances to access them

Very many thanks for all your responses. I've read them all carefully.
Thank you for alerting me to the situation regarding benefits and overdraft charges. We're going to take DS to the bank tomorrow and have that conversation.

Thanks, too, for all that you've written about supported accommodation and the system generally. Yes, DS did have MH issues - serious ones and, in the past, a year or so after he left home, tried to take his life. His leaving home came a complete shock to us all (though I think, looking back, a relief to the other DCs). Close family bereavements had had a profound effect on him though clearly his MH issues were down to more than those. We never really got a diagnosis - though we had our hunches. At that time, the MH services kept us at arms length which wasn't helpful, especially as we were his safety net however antagonistic he was during his occasional re-appearances.

We have impressed on him the need to play ball - to be a responsible tenant in the house that he's in. It's not supported lodgings, it was found very swiftly by a housing officer during the Christmas period and for that we are hugely grateful.

Tomorrow, too, we're taking him to the Council to have that discussion about where next - I hope that there's somewhere to which he can go that does support his needs which really seem to be very complex.

MMcanny - believe me, I want DS at home. I've thought of him every day since we lost touch and have done everything I could possibly do to find him. Now, he's back, in the vacinity at least and we are as determined as ever to work with the agencies and to support him with the eventual aim of family reconciliation. But at present, he couldn't live at home - he's talked about harming me and the other DCs remember just how challenging his behaviour could be.

I'll update after our visits tomorrow - and thank you again - what a relief it was to write it all down and to get such constructive advice from you all.

I've come back to this thread and thank you all again for the very useful comments.

Update: DS was placed in temporary accommodation, quite some way from where we live, but it was OK - very small room in B & B. On the day that he was told to leave the previous accommodation, we helped him make a homeless application.

Heard from him yesterday. Application was turned down as Council deemed him intentionally homeless (no other details). He can appeal but I don't know if he can stay where he is while during the appeal process?

He's had regular contact with a voluntary homeless group near his B & B and they want to help. They've said that a priority is a MH assessment on the basis that DS has had MH issues for a long time. They've told us that the Council Officer assesing DS's position thinks that DS is feigning it. Nothing could be further from the truth and it's an extraordinary thing to suggest without any evidence & on the basis of a short interview with DS when in fact DS was very clearly suffering and in mental and physical pain.

DS can't be contacted - it seems that when he got the email from the Council with that news (maybe yesterday, maybe a couple of days ago), he took a few things and left the B & B (in this weather). We are very worried. We can't get hold of him, no idea where he is. An appeal will be prepared & efforts are being made to secure him eg supported accommodation (by the voluntary organisation - not the Council).

If he comes back, can he stay put until the appeal is concluded? One Housing Association we spoke to said that they could consider him but that an application would need to be supported by the Council. Notwithstanding their decision, could they support an application?

Thanks for any further advice.

Ring Shelter, they can advocate on his behalf while he appeals his homeless decision. And yes, he should be accommodated pending the appeal but you will prob have to argue the point with the LA. If the loss of his last settled accommodation was a direct result of his mental illness he cannot be deemed to be intentionally homeless.
Don't give up.

england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/homelessness/guide/get_help_from_your_council_when_homeless/challenge_the_councils_decision

Thank you tattychicken. I will contact Shelter who may be able to add weight to the appeal.

Yes, his MH problems - and at times they have been very severe - had made it hard for him to settle, budget etc. I think the Council may be thinking of one instance when he had to sell all that he had & leave a privately rented flat because his benefits packed up for a while.Things are coming to light little by little. For years we had no contact. Such a dark period.

I have just had an email from him. He took fright at the Council decision and went some distance. I've got back to ask him where he's spending the night and to impress upon him the importance of being back in his B & B on Monday when the appeal process can start.

HIs email from the Council apparently said that he had to vacate by Monday (corroborated by the B & B when we spoke to them). Is it certain that Councils have to allow clients to stay put while they are considering an appeal?

Thanks again.

How are you getting on Anwen? I’ve not stopped thinking about you and your family. I hope you’ve made some kind of progress.

@Anwen11 I’ve been thinking about you and your son too.

Just seen your update. It's good he has contacted you & is keeping the communication channels open.

I hope the appeal goes in his favour

Thank you again, all. An update:

DS has been back and forth - he took fright at the letter from the council turning down his homeless application. He doesn't have the wherewithal to fight this. At the same time, the council officers will barely speak to us because he's over 18.

In addition to worrying about him pretty much all the time, we are finding it increasingly difficult to fund his travel back to base (well, his home town where he has a connection but sadly no-where to live) and to stay in B and Bs when things are particularly accute for him. The rest of the time he's pretty much homeless (apart from some sofa surfing, he says). His father, my ex, with whom I have virtually no contact, makes noises but will not share any of the financial burden. Bearing in mind DS's state, this is a disappointment (though comes as little surprise). I clearly can't compel him.

Finally, a little possible breakthrough last week when DH spoke to a rep from a Housing Association who said that within a few weeks DS could be in supported accommodation, being helped with his problems. But DS finds it very, very difficult to engage. He's very ill, hears voices and has such an absent expression that it's awfully hard to know what's going on. He desperately needs sustained medical help but his elusiveness makes that so hard to organise.

I had a dream recently that I was holding him and he asked to come home. I long for that day so much. And am working towards it.

Says because his temporary accommodation was terminated, that his ESA has stopped so he's not in receipt of any benefits. Does someone have to have a fixed abode before they get ESA?

Thanks again - all the support and advice here has been invaluable.

So sorry you are going through this
If your son is willing he may be able to allocate you as an appointee for his ESA (for communication etc) and use either your address or the job centres address if he is of no fixed address.

A link to the appointee process- www.gov.uk/become-appointee-for-someone-claiming-benefits.
It may be worth contacting the Local Welfare