DS may have to leave homeless accommodation

[Anwen11]

This is difficult to write.

DS, late 20s, left home of his own volition some years ago. Had breakdowns, was in hospital, wasn't willing to have anything very much to do with us. In and out of our lives - mostly out. When we did see him, he was in a bad way and then at one point, lost contact altogether. We never stopped thinking about him or trying to find out where he was. Younger DCs had had a difficult time living with him and were, I think, relieved that peace had returned to the house.

Out of the blue just before Christmas, we received a tip off that he was living rough in our town. A few days later, we found him - looking desperately ill and thin. We contacted the out of hours homeless officer who found him a room until he could be seen next week. Such a relief. We've been seeing him everyday since and he's looking, bit by bit, less tired and gaunt.

I've just a call from the landlady to say that his behaviour is upsetting other residents (antisocial) and that she's minded to ask him to leave. She spoke to him this morning & apparently he was only half listening. I explained that he was due to see the council next week - could he be given a second chance until then at least? She said that she was going to recommend that he goes someone supportive, structured - he doesn't appear to be ready to live independently she felt. DS told us that his nights in homeless shelters were difficult - rowdy, noisy etc - where he is now is clearly so much quieter and pleasanter but he's clearly not making the best of it. So sad. What little money he gets in the way of benefits is apparently being taken back in overpayments and by the bank (overdraft charges). Our means are very modest - we're helping him on a day to day basis but that's just about all we can manage at present.

Is it likely that the council will identify supported accommodation which could provide a genuine bridge between his present situation and something, in the end, more permanent from where he can get his life back together? It would be very difficult to have him at home - DC's memories are all too vivid and he has behaved threateningly towards me in the past, too. I long for the day, though, and would do anything to bring that about.

Any thoughts would be welcome.

How disappointing OP that his father provides no support. Thank goodness for you. I hope he gets the support he needs from formal channels soon

Just putting this out there for others to comment/ answer. Would it be worth the OP getting power of attorney for health and welfare, thus meaning services would have to share information? Or could that backfire and create unmanageable burdens and possibly resentment from DS? I had POA for my dad ( Alzheimer’s) and it was most useful, but granted the situation here is different.

Thank you for the suggestions about being an appointee in respect of benefits and getting power of attorney. DH and I are looking seriously into these possibilities. Any further thoughts about these would be welcome.

And, thank you again all, for your support and encouragement. These are really, really tough times and I so appreciate your concern.

DS went off again, as I mentioned in my update, but we've just had a call from a place that DS gravitates to when he's back in town and we're off there soon to try, once again, to take him to the centre where reservations for the local hostel are made (if there's room) and where he can eat. I just hope that he'll come down to the centre and, once there, ask for accommodation - it would be a start. A way towards getting signed on with a GP, getting a MH diagnosis and into suitable accommodation.

We want to help every which way but presently our funds are very limited - a lot has gone on DS (accommodation, getting him back from various trips around the UK, clothes, phone (which seems to be missing) ). We love him dearly and hope like anything for a breakthrough. Some agencies will speak to us but here in our home town, where he is now, they absolutely won't.