Advice re parents threatening to dispose of my things

[Lookuplookdownlookallaround]

Over 10 yrs ago I put my house up for sale & with permission moved a lot of boxes to my parents house temporarily in my old bedroom. My house didn't sell but then we got building work done instead so boxes stayed at my parents with permission. I had a child, parents helped transport baby things to my old room as further children planned. Parents have a big 4 bed house & never once voiced an issue with this arrangement helping me out as my house is small, sometimes suggesting stuff went over themselves & taking it for me.

Now fast forward several yrs, there are difficulties in the family & I'm not close to them due to several incidents. Never once has anyone raised my items at theirs for discussion although I have been very conscious I need to get them back lately for my sake as much as theirs.

However out of the blue my stepfather told me I must collect it all with a set time frame (4 weeks) or he is disposing everything. I suggested a date & he then said I could only actually collect it for the last wk as they had plans. So we agreed a date to which he has now gone back on having subsequently made other plans saying I will have to do it one of the other days.

I've organised for support getting my things (transport, physical help carrying & someone in my home town for my children) as my parents are 30 miles away, a self employed friend has kept a day clear she could've been working to help me. I feel my parents are being difficult for the sake of it (my step father can be a petty & difficult man).

Do I have any rights in the situation? Could they just dispose of my things? Can I demand access?

There's lots of some value but also sentimental things, letters from deceased relatives. Help!

I get what Poster is saying. Everytime she tries the SF plays games with her. Yeah, it shouldn't have been left there so long, but it has. Nothing to be done about that now.

Contact your Mum. Do as the other reply said. Go get your stuff and at the same time take your Mum out for lunch or dinner. To thank her.

Yes your parents can give you notice to remove your stuff or they will dispose ( I took advice on this over ExH's stuff), but they gave to be reasonable re access. Would they accept you hiring a man and a van to go and collect for you thus removing the personal aspect of you maybe 'sorting' stuff before moving it back to yours?

You can hire a man and a van
You do need to even be there
You can stay with the children and the man and the van collects it and brings it to you
Job done
Just need to sort out the date

• you do not need to even be there

It's always sad when relationships break down to the point where grandparents aren't enjoying their grandchildren and vice versa. Could you open up communication a bit more honestly instead of in the angry, selfish and entitled way you are coming across on here?
I've no idea of the incidents that resulted in relationship breakdown but if you're this stubborn and unreasonable about ten year old possession I suspect it wasn't entirely one sided.

Why not ask your mother to help you sort through- if it hasn't been used for ten years or so you don't need it cluttering up your house.

Hire a skip and just dump the lot - metaphorical fresh start?
They do have an absolute right to get rid of it if you have been given notice to collect and don't. Real pity it comes to this rather than an adult discussion.

They have given you notice. As long as they give you/or someone on behalf of you access. They can get rid of your stuff.

Email or text so you have record and ask them when is suitable. Then either you or someone else go get your stuff.

Wether they could or should provide support is nothing to do with it.

As someone else said you don't even need to be there. Ask him for s date. Hire a man with van and get them to go and get it. I cant believe how entitled you are being to be honest. Someone has stored your junk for over 10 years (believe me it's junk, if you haven't needed it in 10 years you don't need it now). And now you're cross they've asked you to get it back. Regardless of any back story, family dynamics etc they've done you a huge favour. If it were me i would have chucked it out 6 months after you left it there. Just ask him for a date that suits him (not you) and just get someone to get it for you.

I think:

Take your children with you in car.

Hire man and van. You look after children while man goes up and down stairs. Buy some boot protectors to avoid shoe issues.
Take boxes and bags for any loose items.

Thank parents. Drive off with children. Man and van follow you home.

Say to SF (& copy in your mum if it's email or text):

As X date & X date weren't convenient, could you let me know when is, please?

Then hire a man with van (no childcare needed).

Yes, I think they could dispose of your stuff - legally it might be yours, but once it's gone could you afford a small claims faff to get any money back? It's unreasonable and annoying of them but your things have been there for 10 years.

No legal body is going to be interested in this very minor domestic dispute OP. You're making Everest out of a molehill. Just go and get it! No matter how small your car you could surely get a box in, and do multiple journeys if you have to.

You're putting up all kinds of objections as to why you can't do this, can't do that, don't like big trucks, blah blah blah. It's your problem, no-one else's.

Your SF is being awkward, and you have explained why you can't just turn up. I don't know what, if any, legal rights you have, but I don't know why PP are having a go at you.
Anyway, I think the idea of hiring man with van and cutting out the need to organise your friend and kids, is a good one. Ask your SF for a day, try to speak to your mum too, and turn up when they suggest.

Just a small aside- is your stuff definitely still there? Could he be making it hard because it's already gone, and he's hoping you won't be able/bothered to get it?

Is he being awkward, or do they have a life that they want to get on with?

I think it's absolutely fine that they want rid of OP's - of course it is - and it should have been sorted years ago. But it is being awkward to unexpectedly say we need it gone by X day, then change the dates, then agree to a day, then cancel again. I can't see how it could suddenly be "urgent" for her parents - while they are, of course, within their rights to want it gone - and it is a PITA to keep moving the dates. Sticking to an agreed day isn't stopping them from getting on with their lives.

Seeing as op has made arrangements in line with the sf's demands, only for him to then decide they're not ok and she needs to make new arrangements, do all of you sniping at her really think he will be at all reasonable even if she does dance to his tune? Really?

Look at the Torts (Interference With Goods) Act. I think it's section 11 or 12, and it sets out a strict procedure they need to follow before they can dispose of your stuff.

My exh brought 2 policemen to my house to collect ds stuff. .
He had convinced them he had a court order - though ob didn't show then as he didn't bloody have one!! They stood there like pillocks while I got the stuff - that had never previously been requested!! Give the local number a ring and explain. It's your stuff and theft surely if they won't make definite arrangements for you to have it back.
Your dm sound like a wet blanket and dsf a twat.

Thanks to those who posted about the issues this thread was concerned with. Food for thought. I assumed SF's hostile & difficult behaviour wasn't due having already got rid of all / some of my things but I guess it's not impossible thinking about it.

Looked up the tortes thing, it's a bit vague to me as a layman but seems to cover what they've done (giving 14 days notice) only difference is he isn't allowing me to collect anything so far during those 14 days! Will keep trying to agree a date he doesn't cancel, it's all I can do.

I suggest you point out the Act to him. He can't simply throw your things out. He can sell them, then must account to you for what he receives. As you say, you need to have a reasonable opportunity to collect them.

I also cannot see why everyone is snipping at OP. This is Legal not AIBU ! She doesn't need bitchy comments on wether or not she should of left her stuff there. Its irrelevant! As is the state of the relationship between them. This is legal. She asked a legal question. Can her SF dispose of her belongings. ?

The answer is under Law of Tort that yes he can. He must give 14 days notice. (Which he seems to have done) and give reasonable access (which he hasn't done) . I would be a little suspicious OP. It's possible he feels he has 'gone through the motions' to cover himself but has already disposed.
You don't say why you haven't spoken to your mother to find out why he is obstructing the move - only that SF is controlling. Does that control go as far as to prevent you speaking to your mother alone. ?
If no luck via your mother, I would send them a recorded delivery letter stating .
Dear M & SF. I understand you need my belongings removed. As per your text/email/phone call giving 4 weeks notice on xxxx date.
I have suggested a couple of dates which have been refused or cancelled. I am willing to do this as soon as you give me a date that is convenient to you. I will wait to hear from you. I will then arrange a man with a van to assist me.
Regards
Lookup.
If it has been disposed of then your choices are to let it go or sue in small claims court if you can show the value of items lost. Keep all correspondence on the matter until it's settled.

So just say what date is suitable for you then?