Physical restraint to enforce a court order

[snowflakesandstrawberries]

Just that really. DD 11 refused to go to contact - see previous thread.

DD was crying and screaming in school refusing to go to contact. She expressed her issues to the teachers who told her that she still had to go because of the court order. She left school "with" him but actually walked off with her mates.

He then followed her to the park and followed her and her mates around for three hours whilst I got repeated texts from various friends about his behaviour. He then decided it was time to leave and physically dragged her through the park. She resisted and he slapped her. He dug his nails into her skin. A man tried to intervene and was told not to. He then physically put her in a taxi.

I'm getting all sorts of phonecalls and texts from her mates and I don't know what to do.

The problem is this OP.
You can have a thousand sympathetic voices on here telling you not to send her to contact because of his abuse (as perceived by you and her) but until - if ever- the court, judge, child's advocate and all those who are actually involved in the case also see his behaviour as abuse - then you are going to get nowhere. In fact worse than nowhere, you could lose residency .
The definition of insanity as 'repeating the same action time after time but expecting a different outcome, rings true here.

What can you do ? It's very simple. You TELL your primary school aged child that she is seeing her father for the weekend. That he will pick her up from school. She is to go with him. If you find out that she has 'run off' or not complied in anyway, she will be grounded until next contact. No sleepovers, no phone. You have to drum it in to her that not going is not optional. Make not going have an unpleasant consequence. Show her and the court that you are not just a passive observer in her disobedience to the court order but actually enforcing it. With real serious punishment for non compliance.

Then contact Coram children's centre legal advice . They are brilliant. They advocate for children. Fight this legally. It's the only way. It sounds like the Judge does not trust you to make the right decisions for your child. You need to work hard to get that trust back, so you can make your points heard.

As a pp said. Do not rely on 3rd hand evidence. Especially when it's from notoriously dramatic 11 yr old girls.
If I saw a man picking up a struggling screaming 11 yr old - and putting them in a car. I would be horrified. I would assume she was being abducted and call the police. But change that scenario to a naughty child, encouraged to disobey one parent, refusing to come home , being picked up and pushed into a car.... abuse ? Maybe to a bystander but actually the action of a parent putting their foot down.

It's all in the context. Please do not believe there is any way around this but to positively encourage contact (and be seen to do so) whilst trying to over turn via a a legal route. Being passive is simply not enough.

Thank you