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Original poster

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44 replies

Jade27xx · 05/04/2017 15:19

Do courts take working parents jobs into consideration.. my ex works monday Friday 8-6 and saturday nightshift.. hes self-employed and said he cant take any time off..

Would the coirta work round his scedule rather than mine?

OP posts:
MichaelINeedYou · 05/04/2017 18:46

It's likely to be one night in the week for tea and every other weekend depending on age and circumstances

Original poster
Jade27xx · 05/04/2017 19:13

Shes not born yet?

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 05/04/2017 21:36

Any arrangements have to be in the child's best interests, so it sounds like he will struggle to see her.

Little and often is best for very small children. That means several short visits each week. A newborn can't just be carted off for the whole of Sunday, it would be very traumatic.

Toobloodytired · 05/04/2017 23:34

It's all about the child's best interests first & then will take the parents situations into account.

What sort of arrangement were you looking for??

MichaelINeedYou · 08/04/2017 20:20

Well no age was stated...

Little and often with both your schedules taken into account. Short burst frequently increasing length with age

Original poster
Jade27xx · 08/04/2017 21:21

I was just curious as he made me believe he woukd get her every weekend and i went into panic mode. Only day he can see her when hes free is a sunday, however thats the only day we can spend with my mum and dad :/ feel like im in a teicky situation ha ha

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 09/04/2017 09:05

Well the court would prioritise your baby's relationship with him over you seeing your parents, I'm afraid. But if he's self employed surely he has more choice in his hours?

Original poster
Jade27xx · 09/04/2017 11:08

He does have choice he can take whenever he likes off, but he said je will lose his job if he does that.

Will they allow him to bave her the full day or just short ?

OP posts:
Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 09/04/2017 11:10

Bf would make life difficult. . . For him.

summerfling · 09/04/2017 11:37

Your ex is trying to control the entire situation.

He's being unreasonable & difficult.

If he takes you to court, it'll take them no time at all to work that out & offer him reasonable access, he doesn't want it?? His problem

Original poster
Jade27xx · 09/04/2017 12:00

Should i stick by my guns and let it go through court?

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 09/04/2017 12:28

A new born baby won't be sent off for the day. Especially if breast fed, but even if not.

I would let him take it to court. He can't issue proceedings until the baby is born. It'll be 3 months before you're even in court. Contact to start with would realistically mean him sitting with the baby for 20 -30 minutes. If he can't fit that round his work commitments, then it will be a long slow process for him getting to know this kid.

titchy · 09/04/2017 12:29

Gosh you're really jumping the gun here - you haven't even had the baby yet!

Just offer him say Wednesday, Friday and Sunday evenings for an hour or two and leave it at that. If he steps up great, if not his loss. You've offered a perfectly reasonable child-centred pattern of contact. It's up to him what to do with that.

Original poster
Jade27xx · 09/04/2017 12:48

I know im jumping the gun but cabt get it out mt head. I offered him Tuesday and thursday evenings for an hour and satutday morning for an hour. He said no he wants her Friday evening through to sunday evening, every week. I told him i was breastfeeding baby and jis response was express then

OP posts:
Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 09/04/2017 12:50

Don't offer anything at all. Tell him all communication will be through solicitors when baby has arrived. . Block him for now and enjoy your pregnancy. He is still pulling your strings. . And you are allowing it. You have no obligation to keep in touch with him. .

Theresnonamesleft · 09/04/2017 13:02

So in his world who would have the baby Saturday night whilst he's working, and Saturday and Sunday when he's sleeping?

Original poster
Jade27xx · 09/04/2017 13:09

His mum and dad. As he still lives at home. Doesnt seem realistic of fair on the baby. Shell only see her dad for an hour of the weekend of shes lucky.

OP posts:
Doyoumind · 09/04/2017 13:12

The court will not rule that a newborn should spend a whole weekend with him. Even when she's older and it progresses to more contact it would be every other rather than every weekend.

Don't let him bully you.

Breastfeed and at best he will have access similar to what you've offered to begin with.

Is he saying this just to scare you or is he genuinely interested in the full on responsibility of giving up his whole weekend and suffering sleepless nights? I suspect the former rather than the latter.

Original poster
Jade27xx · 09/04/2017 13:20

Am i stressing over nothing? Im scared they take my baby away everyweekend. I dont mind an hour 3 days a week but 72hours is a big no no and i panicked. I dont know what his intentions are but his family have been saying it too

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 09/04/2017 13:21

OP, I'm a family solicitor. Your offer was perfectly reasonable. He has no clue about babies, he thinks this one is a prize.

Let him go to court, don't put him on the birth certificate, ignore him, and enjoy your pregnancy. He has an awful lot of growing up to do.

FurryElephant · 09/04/2017 13:22

My ex insisted similar when I was pregnant, that he'd be taking my DD for a few days seeing his family etc, would be taking her out for days seeing friends. I also said I was BFing and he said give formula. She's 4 months old and he's seen her when she was a 3 days old, and that was it Hmm so I really wouldn't worry too much yet as it may not even come to thatSmile

MrsBertBibby · 09/04/2017 13:23

No court will hand a breast fed baby over as he suggests. Just not going to happen.

Talk to the midwives for support for you.

MichaelINeedYou · 10/04/2017 12:41

They wouldn't even let my 1 year old for that long let alone a new baby you'll be fine try not to worry

Original poster
Jade27xx · 10/04/2017 20:51

His mother just contacted me and said they will be going for 50/50 and that i will lose against them as (they have a stronger family)

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 10/04/2017 21:06

What do they think it is, a tug of war?

Stupid people. Write it down, dates, times and all, and try not to worry.

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