Contact

[Jade27xx]

Do courts take working parents jobs into consideration.. my ex works monday Friday 8-6 and saturday nightshift.. hes self-employed and said he cant take any time off..

Would the coirta work round his scedule rather than mine?

[DancingLedge]

Great text! That's brilliant.
Hope you can now enjoy rest of your pregnancy.

[MichaelINeedYou]

I'm glad they haven't responded! Please if they do go to the police and log it as harassment

Hope from here on out your pregnancy is easier and you can move to your support network

[Jade27xx]

Thank you all for your advice. I text his mum and dad abd him himself this..

Due to the constant stress and pressure all this is putting me under i have sought advice. I am now notifying you that i am cutting contact and from here on in all correspondance will be dealt with through our respective solicitors once the baby is born. The stress of the constant back and forth and confusion has caused healthcare officials to state concern over not just my health but the development of my daughter. My solicitors details will be forwarded to you once the baby is born. I'm sorry it has came to this however i feel it is for the best and it is borne out of both parties inability to see eye to eye on what the best outcome will be.

I havent heard anything since. Which ie a relief

[DancingLedge]

MrsBertBibby knows her stuff and gives solid expert advice.

Please don't put him on BC.

They're trying to frighten you, which makes them very nasty people. for you.

[UnbornMortificado]

Do not put this man on the BC.

Trust me, I'm still having to call the police out nearly 5 years later.

[MichaelINeedYou]

Send them this message

"Until baby is here do not contact me, any more threats toward myself or my unborn child will be deemed as harassment and will be taken to the police"

Then any further messages go to the police ask for a harassment warning notice to be served upon the mother she continues go to the police she'll be arrested.

Ignore ignore and ignore again. Take comfort in the fact that she can so NOTHING even when the baby is here it's between you and the father.

She will be laughed out of court if she tries to make an application now. Move to your support network she can NOT stop you, if you're worried do not put him on the birth certificate he will then have no rights and if they try anything will be in serious trouble.

You can if you want keep him updated with the pregnant id do this via a temporary email address you can find them for free online it allows you to send him a message from a email address that won't be able to accept replies and after say 10 minutes will no longer exist.

Keep all these threats and messages write down dates, times how they made you feel for if she tries to take you to court you'll have proof

[Theresnonamesleft]

They cannot apply for full residency now. The child isn't born. And don't take this the wrong way but one of the reasons he cannot apply yet is because he might not be dad.

[DangerMouse17]

They can't be applying to any court now when the baby hasn't even been born.

Ignore their threats
Advise them that any further communication should be sent to you via email and swiftly change your number or block them from calling you by phone
If you want to move closer to family and friends do it asap so you have support
Do not put his name on the birth certificate...otherwise you'll have to ask his permission to take your child on holidays etc.
Leave the onus on HIM to take you to court if he can be bothered (although it sounds like granny is the main instigator here)
Enjoy your pregnancy!

[Mombie2016]

Threads like this make me so cross about the lack of legal aid now.

Your ex and his family are bullies and bastards. They're talking utter bollocks.

Your best course of action is:

• Block all contact
  
• Move now
  
• Don't put him on the BC
  
• Let the dumb asses take you to court and then laugh when they get read the riot act.

[Jade27xx]

No im.still working at the mpment and at uni, i dont mind him.having contact but when they are threatning to take her, i am concerned. They said they are applying for court for full residency now. I fear they are anusing me mentally to later determine im.an unfit mother

[JanetBrown2015]

I went to work from about 8 - 6 when breastfeeding a 2 week year old and expressed at work and it is very hard. I don't think a court is likely to give him full weekends until the baby is more like 6 months old if you are breastfeeding. Ther UK has really bad breastfeeding rates however so you might went not carry on with it very long.

Many of us working mothers would be delighted for our other half to have the children half the time as it gives us a break and saves us expensive childcare costs. When do you get back to full time work are you on maternity leave now from your job?

[Pinkypierainbowdash]

JADE

Jusr dont put on birth cert. Also move asap.

[MrsBertBibby]

Move as soon as you like, they can't do a thing to stop you before the baby is born. Don't give them your address. Don't let this repulsive woman into your life.

You are not being a cunt, they are being absolutely disgusting pigs. Block them off your contacts, and don't let them poison your mind any further against yourself.

[Theresnonamesleft]

You can move. Do it now whilst still pregnant. You have legitimate reasons to move to be near your family and the support this will offer. It means in practical terms you will be able to work/study and provide for the child. They, of course, will offer the emotional support in terms of the pregnancy, dealing with his mum and of course the actual birth and aftercare help.

You do NOT have to give anyone your address. They don't have any right to know this. Same with when the baby comes you don't have to facilitate contact in your home.

Of course, she doesn't want it going to court because she knows she is chatting shit. She will have read that grandparents have no legal rights to contact. All she can do is apply separately to him to ask the judge for permission to make an application for contact. She has to remember that yes this is her grandchild, but realistically is has fuck all to do with her. If she wants contact, then she will just have to be patient and wait until the baby is old enough to be away from the main source of food.

Please do get some legal advice. You will then be in a better position once you know where you stand legally.

[Jade27xx]

I cant get it all out my head. His mother is sending me picture messages of things she has bought saying "got this for baby at my place when shes over staying with us". She said the contact for fathers and newborns whicb ive read to be often but short is all lies and her son cant bond with his baby in that time. I planned on moving out of town to be closer to the support i have and mt friends. She said ibe to stay local and they need to know my ardress. I feel vwry traped and like they are manipulating the situation to what suits them. Her son's plan is to not contact me until ive gave birth and then woosh in and play dad. Im not being evil or sppitefull. They made me feel like i was. Im juat concered that they get what they want and not i and i become very depressed and they use that against me. She said she wishes for this not to proceed theough court??but i dont know whats my best option??? Let them walk all over me or get legal advice and do whags beat for myself? Am i being a cunt in doing so. Sorry for the long post im juat scared and anxious and need a bit of advice to help settle my mind.

[FurryElephant]

I really really doubt ANY judge would grant 50/50 custody of a newborn. It just wouldn't happen. Honestly! I was so worried about the same and have done hours of reading whilst sat breastfeeding my baby who's dad hasn't tried for any contact despite saying similar to your baby's dad please try not to stress too much. I spent my entire pregnancy wishing it would just last forever as I was so scared of him taking her away! There are so many studies out there on secure attachment and the need for one primary caregiver and consistency especially when small and courts would be well aware of that.

[Theresnonamesleft]

So its his mum instigating contact?
Such as shame the grandparents have no rights. Such a shame the courts will see through him. When he talks about his working patterns, the first thing they will ask will be how that would work.
It's all crap. Just relax, I know easier said that done and enjoy the pregnancy. Don't put him on the BC. Let all their calls go to voicemail. Maybe get a payg sim and tell them you have changed your number, block them from this number, so everything goes straight to voicemail. Turn it on once a week, and send a text offering the contact you have said.
Try not to get into arguments with them. Don't mention him trying to explain away his working every weekend so how's he going to explain that to the court. They will plan something.

[MrsBertBibby]

What do they think it is, a tug of war?

Stupid people. Write it down, dates, times and all, and try not to worry.

[Jade27xx]

His mother just contacted me and said they will be going for 50/50 and that i will lose against them as (they have a stronger family)

[MichaelINeedYou]

They wouldn't even let my 1 year old for that long let alone a new baby you'll be fine try not to worry

[MrsBertBibby]

No court will hand a breast fed baby over as he suggests. Just not going to happen.

Talk to the midwives for support for you.

[FurryElephant]

My ex insisted similar when I was pregnant, that he'd be taking my DD for a few days seeing his family etc, would be taking her out for days seeing friends. I also said I was BFing and he said give formula. She's 4 months old and he's seen her when she was a 3 days old, and that was it so I really wouldn't worry too much yet as it may not even come to that

[MrsBertBibby]

OP, I'm a family solicitor. Your offer was perfectly reasonable. He has no clue about babies, he thinks this one is a prize.

Let him go to court, don't put him on the birth certificate, ignore him, and enjoy your pregnancy. He has an awful lot of growing up to do.