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Original poster

Being vegetarian and court

92 replies

JMKid · 30/08/2016 20:29

I raise my LO as a veggie. My ex strongly hates this as he is big meat eater. He is complaining about it and hates having to follow the diet. My LO has a very balanced and varied diet aside from no meat or fish, always a healthy wide, very active and not hindered in any way. He is going to raise this issue at our next court hearing. Can they insist I start giving LO meat or insist the ex gives him meat? I appreciate as he gets older he can choose but surely I can decide? Things are very very fraught between us and know this is about control as is everything else he does.

OP posts:
titchy · 31/08/2016 18:16

The pp used the word anecdote in a specific academic way. Not disparagingly.

fastdaytears · 31/08/2016 18:21

Only on MN could a death and a terminal illness be regarded as an anecdote

Your post contained anecdotal evidence and someone (I lose track) pointed that out. Nothing to get huffy about. It was the correct term.

Coconutty · 31/08/2016 18:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cherylene · 31/08/2016 18:27

I presume OP is asking this question on the Legal Matters board, because she thinks that ex will bring up the issue of vegetarian diet as an example of bad parenting to be used against her.

I don't know how the courts think about this but I think the diary idea is probably a good plan - in case there is any issue that needs answers in court, and also because it is useful to do this for a while for her own interest, so not time wasted Smile

Dontyoulovecalpol · 31/08/2016 18:29

Is a fallacy that vegetarians can get sick from eating meat (physically)

Fourormore · 31/08/2016 19:10

No court would entertain an accusation of a vegetarian diet as an example of poor parenting. Nor would they get involved in a dispute over whether a child should eat meat or not.

NNChangeAgain · 31/08/2016 19:27

No court would entertain an accusation of a vegetarian diet as an example of poor parenting.

I'm guessing that this may stem from the recent media coverage in Italy where a vegan diet was used as an example of neglect/abuse?

I'm fairly certain the court would dismiss such accusations out of hand, but even if they gave credence to them, they would have to order medical examinations etc to secure evidence that the DC's were unwell/not growing/undernourished. Assuming that they are healthy and fine, then the OP has nothing to worry about.

eyebrowsonfleek · 31/08/2016 19:42

Your ex will be allowed to feed her meat (and will probably do it to annoy you rather than for health reasons)

Fourormore · 31/08/2016 19:44

Do you know him, eyebrowsonfleek?

Original poster
JMKid · 31/08/2016 20:10

He will defo it too annoy me rather than health reasons but will hide behind that as a reason. His behaviour is like it's all a game and he has one up on me, very sad as it's the LO and not getting back at me.

OP posts:
Dontyoulovecalpol · 31/08/2016 20:13

Don't think of it like that. The meat thing isn't getting one up on you, it's nothing. Don't let it eat away at you

JaniceBattersby · 31/08/2016 20:31

Honestly OP, you probably need to pick your battles if you feel he's going to be like this for the rest of your son's childhood. This is one battle I really wouldn't pick.

MyWineTime · 31/08/2016 20:44

If he's not vegetarian, then it would be a significant extra effort to feed her a vegetarian diet. It's more likely that he would do it more for his own convenience and to fit in with his own beliefs rather than just to annoy you.

Advicepls7080 · 31/08/2016 20:51

Oliversmummy bowel cancer csn literally be caused by genes mutating in the body you don't know for a fact meat caused this and your spouting crap saying that's the reason they have cancer an oncologist will not even say to you that's the reason they have it.

Eating meat is fine as long as like with anything you eat it's in proportion. Meat is generally nutritionally good for the body.

I have lynch syndrome 80% chance of getting bowel/brain/ovarian cancer etc, 13 members of my family have died of bowel cancer and we are still told we can eat meat. My mother an oncologist has never once said stop eating it you'll get cancer. It's just possible risk factors.

Sorry to go off on a tangent OP.

Original poster
JMKid · 31/08/2016 20:54

Oh I defo agree Janice Battersby, there is bigger issues that I will be addressing, hence why I was not got to bring it up in court.

OP posts:
Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 · 31/08/2016 21:09

Depending on the length of time could you not suggest supplying a packed lunch /tea? Courts don't take highly to parents point scoring and seeming to disrespect each other in view of the kids - your ex would clearly be disrespecting your parenting if he states he will be feeding your child meat. He wouldn't be looked upon as acting in the child's best interests to change a 2 year diet to suit himself.

PurpleDaisies · 31/08/2016 21:13

Do you think the court will see it as point scoring though mybeardeddragon? Isn't it more likely they'll just see a dad feeding his son in the same was as the majority of parents in the uk?

hellsbells76 · 31/08/2016 21:14

My ex is vegan and I'm not and he could fuck right off if he tried to force me to feed our DS a vegan diet (the poor sod is gagging for a bacon butty by the time he gets back to me anyway).

Fourormore · 31/08/2016 21:14

The courts will not care. It will not be seen as disrespecting anything. It doesn't give any indication on him acting in the child's best interests. It would be considered a difference in parenting.

Middleoftheroad · 31/08/2016 21:25

Sorry OP as a veggie of nearly 30 years I initially raised my kids vegetarian so I understand your concerns.

When the kids were two it would have upset me after following a healthy meat free diet if they were then purposely fed a meat diet. It is easy for others to dismiss vegetarianism. It sucks that DH would do that to spite you.

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 · 31/08/2016 21:29

If his child is thriving on a vegi diet what justification would he have to change that? Is his convenience more important than maintaining the status quo for his child?

SoupDragon · 31/08/2016 21:30

If the positions were reversed, would you be saying that the vegetarian parent should cook meat?

PurpleDaisies · 31/08/2016 21:34

Since when do children only thrive on one kind of diet?

My dad was a rubbish cook who fed us pizza, chips and chicken nuggets every other weekend for five years. I still can't see any court having denied us contact with him.

NNChangeAgain · 31/08/2016 22:15

Is his convenience more important than maintaining the status quo for his child?

The only thing that a court considers is a DCs welfare - what is in the best interests of the DC? It is considered best for a DC to have a relationship with both their parents if it is safe to do so - and the OPs ex choosing to feed their DC a different diet does not put them at risk.

Suggesting that a change in diet is disrupting the "status quo" is disingenuous. That terminology is used to refer to which parent is the primary carer, and the place the DC "usually lives".
It is not a license for the resident parent to dictate the way in which the NRP chooses to parent, or to insist that the DC is cared for in a specific way. Such an approach may well be seen as controlling or hostile by increasingly well trained family courts.

NNChangeAgain · 31/08/2016 22:16

Is his convenience more important than maintaining the status quo for his child?

The only thing that a court considers is a DCs welfare - what is in the best interests of the DC? It is considered best for a DC to have a relationship with both their parents if it is safe to do so - and the OPs ex choosing to feed their DC a different diet does not put them at risk.

Suggesting that a change in diet is disrupting the "status quo" is disingenuous. That terminology is used to refer to which parent is the primary carer, and the place the DC "usually lives".
It is not a license for the resident parent to dictate the way in which the NRP chooses to parent, or to insist that the DC is cared for in a specific way. Such an approach may well be seen as controlling or hostile by increasingly well trained family courts.