ex has children EOW for 2 nights. We divorced 2.5 years ago, at first he was in a long term relationship and from what I could gather she seemed like a nice lady, treated my children well and the environment was secure and nurturing for the children when they visited. However since he has split with her 6 months ago, there have been a string of women coming and going whom he is introducing to the children after a couple of weeks of meeting them. Whilst I have an issue with this alone, far more serious still is the fact that the children have been subject to (IMO) neglect from their dad, and they have witnessed things of a sexual nature that they really shouldn't have seen at their age (8,10)
To summarise
1)DD saw her dad wanking over webcam/skype call with his girlfriend (I walked in to the bedroom and daddy had the computer infront of him and he was kneeling on the bed with his winky in his hand) (during the day!!)
2)DS walked in on dad having sex with another girlfriend. He did not check he was ok, as would have been normal, he shouted at him to 'GET OUT' and carried on, DS said he heard them carrying on grunting and making sex noises in the adjoining room.
3) Both children were left in the swimming pool on holiday on their own, 'daddy stayed inside because he wouldn't go in the pool unless it was 25degrees or over'. DD said she went in to the villa a couple of times and he was watching videos of people having sex.
4) They woke up one morning to a strange woman in his bed, they had never seen her before, never seen her since.
5)They are sent out to play on the street while he 'entertains' lady friends in his flat. I have told them the dangers of being unsupervised on the street and they refuse to go out alone anymore, despite his encouragement.
6)He regularly hits them, as a form of discipline, clips around the head are most common.
7)I understand he has moved to a new flat, a 1 bedroomed place. He intends to have 2 single sofa beds in the kitchen diner/living room for them to sleep on during contact every other Friday and Saturday night. Is this suitable, shouldn't they be expected to have their own room for privacy at their ages?
8) DS very upset on return from contact last weekend. Said his dad doesn't pay him any attention, he is 'too busy texting, phoning women to have sex with'. We discussed ways he could try to use to bond more with his dad.
I just find it so sad, I want them to have a good relationship with their dad, but its like trudging through water. I've tried broaching the subject and he either denies it, says the children are lying, or finds some way to punish me for calling him up on his behaviour, he refused to return their passports back when I asked him not to let children play unsupervised on the street.
My friend, who is a child protection officer has said that letting them into this environment is unhealthy and a judge may well question why did I allow them to enter into this harmful environment. But I just don't know what to do, I don't want them not to have contact with their dad but I hate them being subjected to this.