Can anyone help?

[WrappedInABlankie]

When i was ill in '13 my sister was signed off from her GP under some kind of carers notes to look after my son as I was in hospital for 3 weeks.

I'm going to be having a C-Section in June, can my partner get signed off for my recovery period to look after my son as I won't be able to lift, etc. Do you also know what it's called?

TIA

I have to been signed off fit from my neurologist and my gp who both can't do it before 6 weeks as the pregnancy messes with my brain pressure which messes up my eyes causes headaches double vision etc so they need to wait to everything is completely settled

So how are you getting your son to nursery during your pregnancy if it's the pregnancy part rather than having a csection which means you can't drive. I'm getting confused!

I don't mean to know, I apologise dazed

in I don't know why they would, it's just what she said and I don't have a copy of the contract.

mrs I'm down the GP weekely having eye pressure measures, BP, HR etc I'm seeing a consultant every 2-4 weeks. If anything raises I will be stopped from driving which as I don't have any abdominal surgery planned It doesn't stop me fully providing for my son, I could walk if I had to get him there. I'll be giving x-ray guided LP's, visual test etc. to reduce it, I can deal with that no issue as It's just DS1 I don't have a new born to deal with

I could walk if I had to get him there

6 miles there and 6 miles back (so 12 miles twice a day) whilst pregnant with the added complication of a neurological condition.
Really?

I would be extremely surprised if your nursery takes away your place for non-attendance for a few weeks, provided you of course continue to pay for the place. Do the terms and conditions of the nursery state this? I can't imagine what advantage there is to them in doing that. If they keep the place while the child is absent, still receiving payment, surely there is an advantage to them, ie one less child to look after for that short period?

In Yes, I would have to If i had to get him there, I can walk having a neuro condition doesn't mean as soon as they won't let me drive I can't walk anywhere, It means i'd have to take extra precaution with my vision etc. Id be in charge of myself and my son not a couple of hundred ton metal vehicle.

I don't have a copy of the contract I'm going to try and get one next time im there, If not I'm going to look at changing his nursery.

I was on the pill so no because we weren't trying to become pregnant!

Korma have you RTFT? They've told me they'll close his place if he's not there!

Sounds complicated! Hope you find a solution.

Thank you Hamper

Costa is part of the whitbread group and is a major employer.

I have heard of dependents' leave but I don't know if it's statutory.

I believe if your DH requests parental leave now (which would be unpaid) then the business has to grant it to him or give him an alternative time in which to take it - this far out they may struggle to justify not giving him the specific time he requests.

DH could only get paid for one set of statutory paternity leave AFAIK so I think it would be tricky to take it on different weeks for different employers.

I don't think fathers have the same right mothers have to attend ante natal appointments but I may be wrong. Flowery is posting and she is much more expert than me.

And like others I would be really surprised if nursery took away his place if you were paying! However, your DP could take him for the two weeks of paternity leave then it would only be a four week break and perhaps your sister or someone could take him on the odd day in between to help? Or get a taxi on a couple of the days?

Korma that is what they have said. Nothing I can write on here will change that. I wouldn't know! luckily he's been sick and missed 1 day not every day for 4 weeks+ We also can't afford a holiday so no chance there.

This isn't really getting anywhere. For those of you that helped you were very helpful, will try and look at some of your ideas. I'm done now, no matter how many times i write it what they have told me as i said I don't have a copy of the contract they do and i signed it last year so can't remember what it says regards to him having time off.

Bye.

They should give you a copy of the contract if you ask.

I don't believe for one minute that you would walk 24 miles each day, 4 days per week just to get a three year old to nursery and back if you were unable to drive for a period of time. How long would it take to walk that far, with a three year old for half of the journeys (even in a pushchair)?

I think you are just expecting people to find some magical solution to gift your husband some paid leave that he has no statutory entitlement to. Even you said that your sister didn't get full pay when she was off to help you although I still doubt the doctor signed her off specifically so she could be her nephews carer for a few weeks so if things are so bad that you can't afford to pay for a mothers helper or similar during that period, how do you plan to afford 4 weeks survival of your partner being on SSP of £87.55 per week?
Nothing you write adds up.

Ah, dependant's leave is for emergencies not for childcare.

I think parental leave is your best bet but applies to those with a company more than a year, however, perhaps your DH can juggle something. It needs to be requested in whole week chunks. Google parental leave and click on the gov.uk site.

Is there any chance of avoiding a C section? Sometimes there is discretion from the doctors. I was back at work 2 weeks after my babies full time however I never had a C section so I think that was part of the reason. I do think some doctors rush into C sections these days when they aren't needed.

maternityaction.org.uk/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderfiles/morethanonejob.pdf

OP the link above is to Maternity Action, they are a useful resource. Read through to page three, your OH can take his paternity leave from each job seperatley so that should help you a bit.

Your health condition seems to impact significantly on your everyday life, are you claiming any disability benefits? The Surestart scheme may also be useful to you.

Are you self-funding your son's nursery place or is it government funded? If you are paying for the place then you carry on paying but he doesn't go, they have a contract with you and would be breaching it. If it's government funded then speak to your Local Education Authority, I have a close family member who teaches in nursery and they have children on the roll who miss whole weeks due to their own or a pafrent's illness, they even have a couple of children who only attend occasionally as their parent's don't engage but the nursery isn't allowed to reallocate the place.