Confused by money left to me in will- my father says it has been spent. Can anyone advise me?

[guiltilysuspicious]

I feel guilty posting this, I hope I do not seem money grabbing. But I am really confused.

My grandma died recently. Before I go any further I have to say I loved her, she was a brilliant lady and I feel terribly guilty for thinking this. She was a widow with two sons, one Grandaughter (me), and a greatgrandaughter (my DD).

My grandmother told me years ago that she had left me a third of the proceeds from selling her family home in her will. i would have thought this would be at least £60,000.00 (sorry to talk figures but it gives this some perspective). After she sold this home she moved to a small sheltered accomodation bungalow.

For the last 5 years of her life she lived in a nursing home.

My father and uncle are in the process of sorting out her will, they are using a solicitor. As far as I was aware grandma was pretty wealthy. I would have expected her will to include money from the sale of the family home referred to earlier, plus quite a lot of savings, shares etc..

They have told me that I will not be getting my share from the sale of her family home because it has all been spent. I.e. this part has been spent but not all her money has been spent, so my Dad and Uncle will be receiving an inheritance.

My father borrowed from Grandma over the past few years (big expensive divorce, new house purchase, money to keep his business going). So his forward borrowings will be deducted from his share of the will.

Dad has said that he will give me a small amount of his share, about £3,000.00, as due to his forward borrowing he will not be getting much money.

I am sorry if this seems rambling but I am confused, I can't see where the money that she left me has gone. She had a good pension which I would have thought paid her nursing home fees. I know my uncle is receiving at least £350,000.00.

My family have the capacity to be selfish and I have a niggling fear that the money she left me has been swallowed up by dad's forward borrowing and my uncle is not saying anything about this in case it affects his inheritance.

I am sorry if this sounds materialistic. I just don't think it seems quite right. My DD is my absolute priority. Any inheritance that I would have received would have been used to secure her future. If my Dad and/or uncle are being unfair then they are stealing from my DD- which seems very wrong.

I don't have the guts to tackle this directly with my Dad, I could be wrong and I think he will be livid if he thinks I am questioning his honesty.

They are using a solicitor so maybe s/he is ensuring that they have been fair to me??

I know the easy answer is to ask Dad about this but I am not sure if my thoughts are reasonable? I can't face looking like I don't trust him when he has told me he is kindly giving me a bit of his share....

If the money has been spent during her lifetime (or for covering necessary expenses like funerals and final bills), and there is nothing left, then you cannot inherit.

(Whether those handling her affairs in her final years sent appropriately is a whole separate question).

You need to see the terms of the will, and a statement of what her remaining assets were. I would expect that any remaining assets could be divided in roughly the proportions she envisaged. But you need specialist advice on the exact terms of the will and the nature of what remains.

Why don't you just phone up the solicitor's on Monday and get a copy of the will? Then you will at least have somewhere to start.

Especially while your dad is on holiday.

No need to start a family ruckus at this stage - if they find out just say you were talking to a friend, who said that everyone named in a will should get a copy of it, and you phoned up the solicitor to see if that was true. Dangerously near the truth...

"but how can I be sure the solicitor will keep it to themselves as I am not sure in what capacity they are acting?"

because the solicitor has to, its the law. if he doesnt, report him.

Dear Guilty suspicious - I don't think you need to be too hard on your dad at this stage. Money does odd things to people and makes them see things differently. It may be that he doesn't quite get the big picture either and rich uncle is the baddy here. Even if you do find you have entitlement to the money, it doesn't mean that you have to fall out with your dad - just pretend that you think the solicitor has not advised him properly, or that your dad has misunderstood what he was told.

I am sure if it was not about money, your dad would be very thoughtful towards you, and it may just be that money is corrupting his common sense. He may have pressures from a high-spending wife, and find it easier to go along with everyone else's version of what he should do, rather than making a stand for you and what he knows deep down is right. He might be glad if you make a stand for yourself as it gives him chance to do what he knows is right without being the one who made a stand.

Give him a golden bridge - a way to get out of it and save face without backing down, so that you can continue to have a good relationship with him.

It all depends on what you find out from the will,and what your independent solicitor advises you.

I have very little experience of any of this except my DP's uncle who advised my DP that this flat was going to be his, and it was all in the will. It all went very quiet and there was no sign of the flat coming to DP. I found out through probate that DP was only going to inherit it if a series of events was to occur, including other people dying first. It was a relief to find out he wasn't being conned, even if we didn't get the flat. It was just the talk that made us think he was going to inherit for definite. No hard feelings on any side - they never knew I got a copy of the will. If I hadn't got the will, I would be sitting here now feeling cheated.

Best to clear it up one way or another, I say.

Great post and great advice isitmidnight

I can't really add to this. I think you shouls speak to the solicitor dealing so you at least know what their part is in it. Sending lots of hugs.

Why is it that inheritance always brings out the worst in people?

*should

Now I have just been washing up and thinking about your family, op, and coming up with reasons why your dad might not be brave enough to fight for your share of the dosh. Quite obviously , he has a love child to support that he has to keep secret fom all his family, or he has paid to have an operation done privately - probably involving his todger.

Joking aside, it may be that he is a bit embarassed that he had to have a lot of the money upfront (possibly for the above reasons...???) and so he is grateful for anything at all himself, and doesn't want to risk a thorough examination by others of his financial situation and history, in case it might find him wanting. Hence he is keeping his head down so as not to draw attention to his own situation.

I know - I am thinking too much... I should go and iron some school clothes..or clean out the goldfish... or clean the cooker with a toothbrush.....

,

Not sure if this will help or not but I've just used it to get a copy of my dads will. He died last june and I spoke to them on Monday and they said they can send copies out within a couple of weeks.

click the leaflet URL link

Any progress?

Bump. Wondering what happened here.

Guilty suspicious - what happened?

Any update OP?

A slight concern here is that the uncle had power of attorney. So he may have spend all the money.

But if you are entitled to a third, then you should be entitled to a third of whatever money is left. Your third share shouldn't be depleted first whilst your Dad and uncle still receive money. How can that work?