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Original poster

Confused by money left to me in will- my father says it has been spent. Can anyone advise me?

90 replies

guiltilysuspicious · 01/02/2011 16:59

I feel guilty posting this, I hope I do not seem money grabbing. But I am really confused.

My grandma died recently. Before I go any further I have to say I loved her, she was a brilliant lady and I feel terribly guilty for thinking this. She was a widow with two sons, one Grandaughter (me), and a greatgrandaughter (my DD).

My grandmother told me years ago that she had left me a third of the proceeds from selling her family home in her will. i would have thought this would be at least £60,000.00 (sorry to talk figures but it gives this some perspective). After she sold this home she moved to a small sheltered accomodation bungalow.

For the last 5 years of her life she lived in a nursing home.

My father and uncle are in the process of sorting out her will, they are using a solicitor. As far as I was aware grandma was pretty wealthy. I would have expected her will to include money from the sale of the family home referred to earlier, plus quite a lot of savings, shares etc..

They have told me that I will not be getting my share from the sale of her family home because it has all been spent. I.e. this part has been spent but not all her money has been spent, so my Dad and Uncle will be receiving an inheritance.

My father borrowed from Grandma over the past few years (big expensive divorce, new house purchase, money to keep his business going). So his forward borrowings will be deducted from his share of the will.

Dad has said that he will give me a small amount of his share, about £3,000.00, as due to his forward borrowing he will not be getting much money.

I am sorry if this seems rambling but I am confused, I can't see where the money that she left me has gone. She had a good pension which I would have thought paid her nursing home fees. I know my uncle is receiving at least £350,000.00.

My family have the capacity to be selfish and I have a niggling fear that the money she left me has been swallowed up by dad's forward borrowing and my uncle is not saying anything about this in case it affects his inheritance.

I am sorry if this sounds materialistic. I just don't think it seems quite right. My DD is my absolute priority. Any inheritance that I would have received would have been used to secure her future. If my Dad and/or uncle are being unfair then they are stealing from my DD- which seems very wrong.

I don't have the guts to tackle this directly with my Dad, I could be wrong and I think he will be livid if he thinks I am questioning his honesty.

They are using a solicitor so maybe s/he is ensuring that they have been fair to me??

I know the easy answer is to ask Dad about this but I am not sure if my thoughts are reasonable? I can't face looking like I don't trust him when he has told me he is kindly giving me a bit of his share....

OP posts:
geordieminx · 02/02/2011 15:02

You need to go and see the solicitor, you owe it to your daughter, and your gran.

You can make it clear that the appointment is confidential, any decent solicitor certainly wouldn't be giving details or even mentioning it to anyone else.

Northernlurker · 02/02/2011 18:50

Yes see a solicitor. Fair enough that the estate was reduced by expenses but not fair at all that two legatees get a decentish chunk and 1 nothing.

Ealingkate · 02/02/2011 19:00

Could you ask to see the will on the pretext of your grandma having mentioned to you something about leaving you some jewellry?? Do your dad & uncle have a meeting about this stuff coming up, perhaps you could crash that and say could you see a copy of the will while you're there?
It is a perfectly legitimate request.

activate · 02/02/2011 19:02

ask for a copy of the will

who are the executors?

Miggsie · 02/02/2011 19:06

get a copy of the will, this will show who the executors are.

You can use the same solicitor, client confidentiality means they can't talk about you to your uncle.

Or you use a different solicitor and they talk to the other solicitor.

If the executor fails to pass on the items bequeathed to you, they are failing to execute the will properly. This is what probate is for, and you need to check that the executors are not cheating. If the executors do not carry out the will it is a conspiracy to steal/fraud. A solicitor will advise you exactly what. You can lodge a claim on the estate through the courts and the executor must answer the case. Saying "it's been spent" isn't good enough and suggests there is shady dealing.

You have a claim on the estate even if the estate is reduced, only if the estate is entirely bankrupt would you get nothing at all.

I would challenge this most strongly, it sounds like you are being diddled.

lubeybooby · 02/02/2011 19:07

If your unclue is getting 350k then there is enough money floating about to give you your share, or at least a decent portion of it. It doesn't matter if the house money was spent, it's swings and roundabouts surely and the 'third of house value' should reflect what you are given, and be used as a guide for home much to give you out of the total estae, not out of money set aside in some 'proceeds of house sale' account that has all been spent.

Hope that makes sense!!!

Sounds like you will need a solicitor though. and QUICK!

You don't sound money grabbing at all, you are being done over.

lubeybooby · 02/02/2011 19:08

uncle how and estate* gah

BlackandGold · 02/02/2011 19:09

You need to see her Solicitor privately and hopefully they should be able to tell you the names of the executors.

I have had 2 close relatives in a Care Home and any spare money was used first before the house was sold to meet the fees so this all sounds very strange to me!

I have also been an executor and they do have to follow certain procedures regarding distribution of the Estate.

Hope it all works out for you as it seemd your gran intended you to have a share of something!

ivykaty44 · 02/02/2011 19:21

I don't understand why you don't have a copy of the will? anyone named in a will gets a copy

As you were included in the will the solicitor should have sent you a copy of this will?

I would telephone and speak to the secratery of the solicitor and ask when they are sending you a copy of your grandma's will?

Don't even mention about whether you shoudl have a copy or not know

just telephone and say where is my copy of the will.

if they say well we havn't done probate yet, then ask how long it will be.

If they say well we aren't goign to send you a copy - say well why on earth not

expect one to be sent to you

and see what is in it when it arrives

chipmonkey · 02/02/2011 19:33

your money has been spent but your Uncle gets 35000? That sounds really suspicious to me. I would get a solicitor. If anyone gets the hump tell them you are looking out for your dd.
And tbh, that is more than your own Dad is doing.Sad

LadyInPink · 02/02/2011 19:35

A third of her 'house sale' is a third whatever is left - it's utter rubbish that your uncle and dad get to go half on what's left because a large chunk has been spent (why does that mean your share has been spent and not theirs). It sounds fishy to me!

Sounds like they are money grabbers not you plus you seem like you would invest it to some use (your DD future) and they seem to just want it to fritter away - no wonder they want you out of the division.

Stand up for your rights and if you wrong just say your Grandma had dementia and she must have been muddled at the time. I believe you are entitled and they want you out the picture for their own gain.

Sorry you have to go through this; it's hard enough grieving for a lost loved one without all the after hassle concerned.

Smile
ZenNudist · 02/02/2011 19:39

There is some very sound advice here but I wanted to add OP you owe it to yourself and your dd to get some decent explanations now. Just think how much of a family rift could be caused by a lifetime of suspicions and mistrust. If there is some big expense in the future that you struggle to pay (university? Etc) you will be kicking yourself for not at least trying to understand what happened to the money. Read the will and do not be sqeamish about asking questions.

Good luck!

C0FFEE · 02/02/2011 22:25

Agree with lubeybooby

But OP does not know who the executor and the lawyer may be employed for a different purpose, (to help release assets for example).

Exectors can be anyone, family, friends, lawyers.

Keep use informed please

ivykaty44 · 03/02/2011 10:24

well ring round a few local solicitors - and if the grandma came from a different town then ring around a few there aswell

StuffingGoldBrass · 03/02/2011 10:29

Any decent solicitor should be able to check this out for you in confidence. At least once you are in possession of the facts you can either fight for your share if you are being defrauded, or accept that the house money did go on care which will at least allow you to know that your family are not cheating you.

ivykaty44 · 03/02/2011 11:42

yes any decent solicitor would be able to do the leg work for you - they will also charge for this leg work and it will not be cheap

Sarsaparilllla · 03/02/2011 11:59

I agree with everyone saying you need to make an appointment to see the solicitor, ASAP. I agree with Lady in Pink, how can all of your share have been spent if there is still £350k of your uncles share left?

Doesn't add up to me, you need to get it sorted. It's not money grabbing, it's ensuring your grans wishes are kept and it's looking after your daughters future.

Sod rocking the boat, make an appointment and tell them it's strictly confidential.

aletia7 · 03/02/2011 12:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

ImFab · 03/02/2011 12:40

"I don't understand why you don't have a copy of the will? anyone named in a will gets a copy"

This is not true.

charlieandlola · 03/02/2011 12:50

I would advise not seeing the solicitor acting for your uncle and dad - they will be massively conflicted.
If you were specifically left a third of an asset and that asset no longer exists, then the gift has failed, surely ?
If your father and uncle were to share in the residue, then it sounds like the will didn't take into account the possible future sale of the house. And they are correct in what they are doing.
If you were left a % of the estate, then the gift should stand and you are being diddled.
I am sure a fully qualified legal beagle will be along in a minute to correct me if i'm wrong.
People who are beneficiaries don't automatically get a copy of the will, btw. I have just administered my late father's estate, and I thankfully didn't have to send off 25 copies to all my of cousins, 2nd time removed, who had never met my dad but still got a £100 each. Phew.

ivykaty44 · 03/02/2011 16:23

So who gets copies of the will sent to them then? Why wouldn't the solicitors send a copy of the will to each benifactor?

ImFab · 03/02/2011 16:37

I have no idea but I was named in a will and only got a copy when I wrote and asked for one and paid the £5.

ivykaty44 · 03/02/2011 16:38

who or where did you write to to obtain a copy of the will?

ImFab · 03/02/2011 16:43

I can't remember as it was a few years ago now.

ivykaty44 · 03/02/2011 17:26

makes for interesting reading

If you go to administration - then it doesn't matter surely who the solicitor or exec is as they have to go through administration to get probate. Also there are tax implications with this estate