Confused by money left to me in will- my father says it has been spent. Can anyone advise me?

[guiltilysuspicious]

I feel guilty posting this, I hope I do not seem money grabbing. But I am really confused.

My grandma died recently. Before I go any further I have to say I loved her, she was a brilliant lady and I feel terribly guilty for thinking this. She was a widow with two sons, one Grandaughter (me), and a greatgrandaughter (my DD).

My grandmother told me years ago that she had left me a third of the proceeds from selling her family home in her will. i would have thought this would be at least £60,000.00 (sorry to talk figures but it gives this some perspective). After she sold this home she moved to a small sheltered accomodation bungalow.

For the last 5 years of her life she lived in a nursing home.

My father and uncle are in the process of sorting out her will, they are using a solicitor. As far as I was aware grandma was pretty wealthy. I would have expected her will to include money from the sale of the family home referred to earlier, plus quite a lot of savings, shares etc..

They have told me that I will not be getting my share from the sale of her family home because it has all been spent. I.e. this part has been spent but not all her money has been spent, so my Dad and Uncle will be receiving an inheritance.

My father borrowed from Grandma over the past few years (big expensive divorce, new house purchase, money to keep his business going). So his forward borrowings will be deducted from his share of the will.

Dad has said that he will give me a small amount of his share, about £3,000.00, as due to his forward borrowing he will not be getting much money.

I am sorry if this seems rambling but I am confused, I can't see where the money that she left me has gone. She had a good pension which I would have thought paid her nursing home fees. I know my uncle is receiving at least £350,000.00.

My family have the capacity to be selfish and I have a niggling fear that the money she left me has been swallowed up by dad's forward borrowing and my uncle is not saying anything about this in case it affects his inheritance.

I am sorry if this sounds materialistic. I just don't think it seems quite right. My DD is my absolute priority. Any inheritance that I would have received would have been used to secure her future. If my Dad and/or uncle are being unfair then they are stealing from my DD- which seems very wrong.

I don't have the guts to tackle this directly with my Dad, I could be wrong and I think he will be livid if he thinks I am questioning his honesty.

They are using a solicitor so maybe s/he is ensuring that they have been fair to me??

I know the easy answer is to ask Dad about this but I am not sure if my thoughts are reasonable? I can't face looking like I don't trust him when he has told me he is kindly giving me a bit of his share....

THe administrators are usually the executors are they not?

The probate process is for interested parties to make claims aainst the estate.

Even if the asset has been sold you can still make a claim I believe,

A huge thank you to everyone who has kindly responded. I have taken your suggestions on board.

Dad and uncle are still in the process of checking final annuity payments have been made etc. I am guessing this means probate has not yet been sorted?

I am going to ask dad a few more questions about the will- the suggestion of broaching the subject via asking about jewellery was brilliant. Grandma had lots of lovely jewellery, I am going to say I am surprised she didn't leave me anything specific to remember her by. Then I will ask if my share of her home was somehow spent before her other money and if so does he think that was fair?

You have all given me the confidence to at least ask a few questions. I am dreading it but it needs to be done. Dad is in the USA on holiday (as I said he has no real idea about genuine money worries). I will somehow 'grow a pair' when he returns and ask him.

One thing I don't understand is how the solicitor they are using could allow them to be unfair. Surely he has a professional obligation to properly stick to the will? I suppose though that he could help them use thespevific wording of the will to their advantage?

Families eh? Lottery win anyone?!

Brilliant news - your dad is on holiday in America - get to the solicitor while he is not around. Act quick. Don't be embarassed talking about money. You are not talking about money - you are talking about your daughter's future and that is worth making a fuss about. It seems tome that youa re being diddled in some way, and rich uncle seems to be coming out of this very nicely indeed...

Do it now before it is all sorted out.

To put the nicest possible spin on it for your relatives, it's not fair on your dad and uncle to have vague suspicions about this and not try to clear them up.

Easy for me to say - I would find it really difficult to do this.

I'm afraid I think it is possible that you were never actually named in the will - people say all sorts of things that they never get around to putting in writing. She may have asked your dad for a verbal assurance that he would give you some of the money, or your uncle might have complained that it was not fair he 'only' got a third when he was her son. Lord knows what people think or say.

You certainly deserve to know what's going on. I think I would ask your dad for a copy of the will, and say that if it's a bother for him to photocopy it you don't mind getting one through the website.

OP you need to see the solicitor - the one who is executor of the will. He is acting for the "estate" and not your Dad or uncle so he will not be biased towards you.

The wording of the will is crucial. If it was "I leave everything to be split equally between" - then you are being "robbed". However if it was worded that I keave x amount to "dad" and y to "uncle" with the remainder to OP then their share will come out first and you will only get some if there is any left over after they have had their shares (either the whole amount or proportionally if there is not enough).

leave not keave

You must obtain of copy of the will and take legal advice from a solicitor who does NOT have any conflict of interest.

Disclaimer - I tend to confine my contributions to threads involving young people in danger of being defrauded. This should not be taken to mean that I suspect that such a fraud has already taken place or is being actively contemplated.

It's strange how the prospect of ££ warps people. My father has twice been dishonest, morally at least, with regard to wills. You could say you are thinking of making a will yourself, who is doing your GM's will?

If she is not named in the will why would she be told her share has been spent? Seems odd.

See a lawyer, it should not cost you anything, at least not the first interview.

IF the sale of the house has been directly used to fund the carehome she was in and you were only named as a beneficiary with regards to the house - under the current means-testing system in England, anyone with assets of more than £22,500 has to pay in full for their care - it might mean this is how funds have been depleted.

If the house sale went into the general pot then that's a different matter, and your father and uncle cannot decide that that only that portion has been spent. However, you need to find out first if you are directly named in her will.

But why would her care only be paid from that one pot? Even if that is the case can and should be challenged.

If her grandmother sold the house to pay for her care and the proceeds from that are all gone, and in the will it says that GS is to get a third share of the house...there is nothing to share. GM could have assigned the assets specifically to GS' father and uncle and the rest of her estate to be divided amongst all, not realising there would be nothing left. It depends on how it was set up. GS might then be morally but not legally entitled to some of what remains. But GS needs to see how the will is termed and to find out specifically if she and her dd are named. It does sound odd and am surprised there has not been more openness from GS' father on this matter.

I really wouldn't pussyfoot around asking vague questions about jewellry.
You need to see/speak to the solicitor acting for probate and request a copy of the will, and then take that to another solicitor who is not conflicted.
Do it while your Dad is away in America.

Not going to argue with you KangarooCaught as I really do not know the law; have little knowledge as I was left some assets a few years ago. Neither do I know at what point the house was sold, whether gran still owned the house when she promised this.

If her gran willed the proceeds of the sale of the house while she still owned the house then maybe OP is at a disadvantage but it is still worth seeking legal advice as it might be possible to challenge this

If you get advice from one lawyer and they give you advice you do not think is right go to another, some lawyers are useless

guiltilysuspicious - I hope you didnt think I was rude you sound so nice but somtimes we do need to be stand up for ourselves and in your case for your dd

If you are a beneficiary then surely you can ring the solicitor's firm and ask for a copy. You should be sent one anyway - very odd if you haven't.

Then take it to your own solicitor and ask their advice.

I agree with others the exact wording matters a lot here.

Your Grandma might have been a bit vague in the way she expressed her wishes to you but actually in the Will it is very specific and the Will has been interpreted strictly. As others say, care home costs can eat quickly into an estate.

Definitely talk to the solicitor directly.

Dont let suspicion rumble on.

It does all sound a bit odd.

When my Grandma died, all the beneficiaries were sent a copy of the will and told that we stood to benefit from the will.
The will was then in probate for some months, the main hold-up was the fact that my Grandma's house needed to be sold.

Once probate was complete (all assets realised and all tax due paid) then the remaining money was distributed as per the will.

All of this was communicated directly to me via the solicitor. My Mum and my Uncle were executors of the will, along with the solicitor, but it wasn't necessary to discuss anything with them because I got all the info from the solicitor.

Did GS say she didn't know who the solicitor was - she would have to ask her father or uncle?

Again, thanks all for your input. To clarify, I do know which solicitor dad and my uncle are using. However the various roles and terms still confuse me a bit and I am unsure what exactly the solicitor is doing for them.

With regard to being left a share of grandma's house, she herself told me that had left a third of it to me in her will. This was a long time ago though. Dad and uncle have been open that she left me this third but they said it had been spent in the intervening years.

I now understand that the exact wording of the will is critical but as yet I have no idea about this wording. I guess the fact that the solicitor has not contacted me suggests I maybe was not specifically named?

I appreciate my reluctance to stand up for myself more might seem a bit pathetic but my family are very important to me and I am scared of accusing them of something that could be wrong. Even getting a copy of the will and my own solicitor infers that I am suspicious......

However, I realise I have

(continued from last post)

However I realise I need some answers, and I owe it to DD not to be a pushover.

So my latest thoughts are to clarify a few things with dad such as did grandma name me in her will, if so why has solicitor not contacted me, plus can he (dad) clarify how come my 'share' seems to have been spent but uncle and dad are still receiving something.

I will then decide what to do next.

Thank you again to everyone who has posted it is great to get so much advice, I will keep you updated.

Speaking to your Dad about it is not going to help. If he is trying to diddle you out of money then he will lie to you. The solicitor will have a copy of the will and will talk to you about it.

Please just go and see the solicitor. My Dad tried to stop my DB getting money from my DGM, it wasn't even a huge amount £5000. He only gave the moeny to my DB when my Mum said she would go to the solicitor if he didn't.

THe solicitor will keep it to themselves, it is your easiest option for not upsetting people.

Eglu, thank you for your advice but how can I be sure the solicitor will keep it to themselves as I am not sure in what capacity they are acting?

I am not going to simply accept what dad says, until now I was too scared of being the moneygrabbing grandaughter to ask any questions. However the massive support here has shown me that it's ok not to simply accept the vague explanation that I've been given. So I want to hear what dad has to say, how he explains the situation.

I can then get a copy of the will and if it does not represent what dad has told me then I will have to face the fact that he is a pretty despicable father. I would much prefer to find out I am owed nothing than that dad thinks so little of me & DD which is partly why this is so difficult.

In reply to blessings3, you did not seem rude at all. To be honest I didn't enjoy you suggestion that should "grow a pair" but I have to be honest with myself and admit that is because I don't always like hearing the truth about myself!

It's a repeating theme in several areas of my life to be honest! I am no shrinking violet in many ways but when it comes to standing up for myself to my family I have a long way to go!!

I think you are right to talk to your dad first about this. I'm afraid I do think this is likely to cause a row, but the chances of it being a permanent rift are much greater IMO if you speak to the solicitor behind his back.