I've name changed for this due to the humiliation of being totally taken in by someone. I lent my boyfriend £10,000 in the summer. At the time all was good between us and we were planning on moving in together. I had no doubt that he was honest and trustworthy at the time.
Since then I have discovered some lies that he has told and denied. Big lies, about his mum dying when she was alive, about his child injuring herself and being taken to hospital when she was fine, and about the fact that he wasn't actually separated from his ex when we started seeing each other. It's taken a long time to process everything because he is very manipulative and actually made me feel like I was going mad. Now that I've finished with him I feel better than ever.
All I want is my money back, I don't want any nastiness and there is no point confronting him about lies that he will just deny.
I paid HMRC £10,000 on two separate credit cards in June 2010. I've ordered copies of the statements which shows this. But I have no written agreement that the money was a loan and not a gift, this was agreed verbally. I also have proof that he spent £3000 on a van in December 2010 so he has money, just doesn't want to repay it.
He wants to meet me, I have refused because of how manipulative he is and also because I can be strong via text message and come across business like without letting my emotions get in the way. Also with texts I have proof of what is said. I have said I will meet him if he can confirm that he will definitely give me some of the money at the meeting but he will not confirm this. I don't want to talk about the relationship, which he clearly does, as far as I'm concerned there isn't one.
I just want to know where I go from here, I have told him I am happy to accept payment in installments. He has told me that I won't get a penny from him unless I sue him. I've told him it would be better to avoid the extra stress and expense of court and try to arrange things amicably. He refuses.
Please don't tell me how stupid I've been, I already know that.